The World According to Pooh

Just For Me?

2010-09-08T15:36:00.002-08:00

It's like a whole website, just for me.

Relatedly, roasted my first chicken last night. Boy did I make a royal mess of that. I mean, she said it tasted fine, and I don't think she sneaked away to puke it up last night, but not the finest moment of my fledgling culinary adventures.

5 Things That Have Annoyed Me About Movies This Summer

2010-09-06T09:52:00.003-08:00

One "great" thing about my current lifestyle is the ability to pop off and see a movie whenever. I say "great" because this has, all things considered, been a pretty disappointing summer for movies. Alternatively, what the hell am I think expecting movies to be good? But in any event there were 5 specific things that especially annoyed me.

1. Sly Stalone's pretensions. Why take a perfectly good shoot 'em up and try to make it 'weighty' with some kind pathos and emotional heft? I appreciate the fact that Charisma Carpenter is age appropriate as a love interest for a graying bad-ass, but...WHY BOTHER? You are wasting my time with plot points no one could possibly invest in, and this popcorn ain't gonna eat itself. Also, why have Jet Li if he doesn't get a chance to kick ass?

2. If you are going to make a live action Sorcerer's Apprentice, if you don't plan on using or clearing THE music, you DON'T HAVE A MOVIE. Just shut her down right there.

3. Like there isn't enough nerd cred to break Scott Pilgrim into two movies. Is there anyone who wouldn't have like more Scott Pilgrim?

4. The marketing campaign for The American. For those that haven't seen it, it's basically a Leone Western, set in Italy. It's not George Clooney: Badass. Though Clooney is a badass, this isn't Identità Bourne, it's Unforgiven in small town Italy. Also, the final shot is a teensy bit on the nose, not quite as bad as "The Departed" but up that alley.

5. Speaking of endings that pissed me right off; Inception. Spolier alert and all that, but I call bullshit on a transparently, insultingly blatant message from Chris Nolan saying "TALK ABOUT MY MOVIE!!!!"

Look, I'm fine with ambiguity and think it was perfectly acceptable in this story. But much like a restaurant too-visibly angling for a 4-star review, the plea for memorability (and one would assume, Oscar's) is so evident as to be off-putting. In fact after being in a constant state of "this is awesome" all through the film, I left the theater frustrated and angered. I'm sure there are dozens and dozens of ways Nolan could have ended the film, but picking the one which caused about 75% of the audience with whom I saw it to audibly groan was probably the wrong answer.

Next film which has the potential to disappoint me horribly? "The Town".

Erm, hello?

2010-09-05T22:06:00.003-08:00

I have thoughts. I would like to record them, because as someone (maybe Don Draper?) once said if you don't write it down, it didn't happen.

Stuff I plan on talking about:

1. Entertainment: I read a lot of books. I watch a lot of TV. I see a lot of movies.

2. Wedding planning: because the tyranny of Big Media Myster shall not stand.

3. Hobbies: I recently decided to learn how to cook. It's actually going pretty well. I scared the pants off of Maia earlier this week when she came home and not only had I made beef stew for dinner, but an honest-to-goodness New York goddamn Cheesecake. Sethy Fucking Crocker.

4. Sports: because as part of 1 above, I read/watch a lot. These days, mostly Soccer and NBA basketball.

5. Other: because I can't be arsed to categorize everything I might want to talk about in the future.

Stuff I don't plan on talking about:

1. Law: Boring.

2. Politics: and even deadlier combination of boring and infuriating. I still have opinions, they have changed much if you look through the archives here, but my current level of cynicism makes it impossible to get behind discussing the ins and outs and what have yous. Basically, it boils down to this - if people invent shit that replaces the gasoline engine and find a way to provide power to industry, utilities, and so on, we're golden. If not, we're fucked. What the government does (or more than likely does not) do will end up mattering very little because it's all Kabuki intended to keep those of us too pretentious to be sated by Jersey Shore (love it) and Survivor (have never seen a second of it, one of my prouder accomplishments) occupied while the status keeps on quoing. I just depressed myself further writing that.

3. The layout of this blog: I know, it's ugly as sin. Deal.

Stuff I hope not to care about, ever:

1. Traffic

2. Daily Quota of Output

3. Yankee fans. I don't really even care about baseball anymore. Yay 2004/2007. But there is just that certain something about YankeeFan that I hope I can just ignore. LakerFan, I'm still coming for you though...

Wait, what's this?

2007-10-11T10:06:00.000-08:00

Lookie over there. Fresh! New! Content!

Under Pressure

2007-04-02T09:54:00.000-08:00

First of all, I'm a genius. Chris Richard, yasay!

This is the first time since my freshman year in college that I have a shot at winning a tourney pool - (I finished 3rd that time. Why I remember that is because I'm a self-aggrandizing prick, obviously...) Right now, I'm only scared of one thing:

Actually, I'm more scared of Al Horford and Corey Brewer, but as the newspapermen say, I got art.

Who the hell is going to guard Brewer? He's got 4+ inches on anyone OSU can possibly stick on him, unless they try Ivan Harris, who would get turned into a turnstile. Maybe a zone? Florida has a lot of shooters though, especially if Brewer is hitting agian.

To my mind, tonight's championship turns on two things - Oden's ability to stay on the floor, as OSU will get zero defensive rebounds if he is out, and how badly Mick Conley outplays Taurean Green. If Green plays like he did on Saturday, Florida might have problems. It wasn't that he played badly, though he did, it's that he played like an asshole. You know the guy at the gym who wants everyone to know he's really too good to be playing with the likes of you? That was Green. In the national semifinals. While basically crapping the bed (or shaving points? I don't know what the line was, so I can't comment, but if one were to shave, dribbling the ball off of one's foot 4 straight times in the closing stages of a blowout would be a decent start. Just saying.)

I still think Daequan Cook is due for a huge game, and they might need him.

Though my heart wants OSU (both because I have only picked Florida by default and for, erm, other reasons. 2nd prize is a set of steak knives), my head says that the game is Florida's to lose. Of course, looking at my record of past predictions, this makes me feel better about my chances, in a sort of self-imposed triple-whammy-hex fashion...

And as I eat my very leavened breakfast bagel, happy Passover, all...

Long Awaited And Anticipated (Final 4)

2007-03-30T15:01:00.000-08:00

So, second things first, my dislike of ~~UCLA~~ Crappy Big Ten/Big East Team West is pretty well established , even without Jordan Farmar's coif. So I don't need to say that I'm rooting for Florida. But I'll say it anyway: Go Gators! Seriously, I hate this UCLA team this much:

Yup, that's my guy. Even if he is an NBA bust. (Sub conscious says "just like Vince Young, genius?")

As to the substance of the game, who on UCLA guards Corey Brewer or Al Horford? Lorenzo Matta weighs about 79 pounds, 43 of them in his schnozz, so he might get bullied. Luc Richard Mbah! Mbah! Mbah! a Moute has regressed, and seems to have caught a little of the Lou Roe* syndrome - as in "I'm not big enough to be a full time interior guy in The League, so watch me hit this J. Ok that was ugly, but watch this one. No seriously guys, the next one's money, I'm due!"

As for Brewer, UCLA did a pretty good job on Brandon Rush, but I think Brewer is a little tougher, so he'll be able to do some things. And if they have to help on Horford especially, that means open looks for Green and Humphrey. Bad news. On the other end, how does UCLA score? They can't really play their usual chuck-and-chase because the Gators have a bunch of big bodies, included Chris Richard, who I think would be a college star at any other school. (I'd take him over D.J. White or Mario Boggan to name two examples.) Brewer will be a tough matchup for Aflallo, who's also due for one of his periodic 4-17 games, and if Green or Humprhey (an underrated defender) can't contain Collison, Brewer could do that as well, in a pinch. Bottom line, UCLA has to play and shoot great while Florida plays mediocre or worse for the Bruins to have a chance. Florida by 11, not really that close though.

But the early game is the big daddy. Ohio State, Georgetown. Oden vs. Hibbert. The question is, who for OSU guards Jeff Green? Certainly not Oden, else he fouls out in 20 minutes of action. Ivan Harris is tall, but...he's tall. Ron Lewis or Jamar Butler? Plus G'Town has a bunch of other big, active bodies (including Ewing's kid, who's actual kinda good). This leads me to believe that OSU plays a lot of zone, unless Thad Motta is an idiot. Of course, judging by his coaching performance vs. Xavier, Thad Motta might be an idiot. If he wises up, G'Town's guards have to make shots from the outside. They can, but will they. On the other end, Georgetown also has matchup problems, especially if Oden can get Hibbert in foul trouble and/or tired, as I don't think Wallace or Sapp can stay in front of Conley. Butler, Lewis and Cook (who is so due for a huge game off the bench, I add) will get into the lane and create open looks for each other, and Harris, and dunks/putbacks for Oden. I see this as being a really entertaining, high scoring game that will turn on OSU's defense - if they keep Green from going off, they win.

Relatedly, if OSU beats Florida for the title, I win my office pool. So the above picks are completely unbiased.

* Just check out the box on the right at the link - it reads like the Early 90s Bust No Stars. Can you go wrong if you are in the same company as Shawn Respert and Beta Tyler Hansbrough (aka Eric Montross)?

99 8 Luftballoons

2007-03-30T14:56:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought birthday week was over, they pull me back in. Seriously, it was great standing in line to buy a hotdog with a bustle of balloons strapped to my wrist, as my former boss, The Judge walks past and says hi. Very professional.

You who are responsible know who you are, and revenge will be mine. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but oh yes, it will be mine.

Things on Thursday

2007-03-29T15:41:00.000-08:00

Got the soundtrack to "Black Snake Moan." Many different brands of awesome.

I think I forgot to comment on the series finale of "Rome". In the early part of this season, I thought S1 was stronger, for the simple reason of narrative clarity in the Ceasar-Pompeii and Attia-Servillia arcs. However, the back half of S2 really worked for me. Part of it was how the Vorenus/Pullo storyline had an almost Lethal Weaponish buddy-cop feel to it. I also enjoyed how the show made us sympathize with perhaps its redeemable character, Attia. In another milieu, I would have expected to hear Elton John playing in the background during the coronation sequence.

Speaking of gritty TV, The Shield" is back next Tuesday. Like all shows based on shock value, the plot has gotten pretty ridiculous, almost 24ish. But, Forrest Whitaker is still around to battle Vic Mackey. Good times.

I mentioned last week that I've started playing a little of teh poker again. Just to brag a little, I won two free tourneys for a total of $2000 or so. Of course, if you allow me to bore you with the details, you'll see that skill had very little to do with any of it. ("I have aces, I guess I call...") But nice to know that I still play goot.

For some reason, this doesn't bother me at all. Even though, I guess it's a slur of sorts. Update: See also DLIC at FreeDarko. Also, this was pretty much the first thing that occurred to me as well:

30 is the new twenty. This being my birthday week, I like Captain Picard, "make it so."

Final Four preview tomorrow. Promise. Also, Suns-Mavs on Sunday. I'm FAR more excited for that game than for any alleged basketball game involving the UCLA rugby squad. Maybe they should let them Haka after the national anthem to make sure we get the mood right. With Darren Collison, they remind me of a less tatted and feloned version of the Huggins Cincinnati teams - (Bobby Brannen, yasay!)

a bunch of physical defenders with no discernible basketball skills, and one skilled played who shoots jumpers and works on ball-handling while the rest of the team lifts weights and hits the blocking sled.*

* J-dubs himself has several discernible basketball skills, however. Mostly hitting turnaround J's and convincing refs to hit him with nickel-dime fouls, but whatever. Also, wish I had a picture of him with frosted hair, all he'd really need then is the kick-ass barb-wire tat, and he'd never need a Halloween costume again.

Twenty-Ten

2007-03-29T14:23:00.000-08:00

The rumors are true, I am no longer as young as I used to be...

And as a birthday present, I've been slammed at work all week. The civil attorneys out there, groan along with me when I say "deadline for discovery response."

Hopefully, by tommorow, I'll even have time to take requests and preview the Final Four.

I Pick Good

2007-03-22T22:13:00.000-08:00

3 of 4, and really, I was right about how the Memphis, A&M game played out. Acie just let me down by missing an open three and a layup. Seriously, Memphis got terrible shots every possession in the last two minutes, and only won because they kept throwing up massive bricks that A&M couldn't rebound.

Southern Illinois wreacked all kinds of havoc when Kansas tried to run a nice, pretty offense. SIU just couldn't stop Kansas once KU said "ok Brandon/Mario/Russell" (Russell Robinson, yasay!) "beat your guy, and get us a shot." And since Kansas has 3+ lotto picks, and SIU has several future quality pros in the Euroleague, this worked quite well, thank you.

UCLA-PITT? FIRST DOWN. Aaron Gray is a huge wuss.

OSU - TENN. Tennessee got them playing fast, and once OSU started making shots...And Greg Oden, smile for heaven's sake...

Anyway for tommorow, Butler and Vandy will simply be overmatched against Florida and G'Town, though Vandy might keep it close if GT's guards can't make shots, and Vandy is decent from 3. Oregon probably has too much quickness for UNLV, and I think UNC's depth wears USC down in the last 8 minutes or so - the legs go, they miss some chippies and some FT's and Carolina goes on a 10-2 spurt and wins by about 7.

Things On Thursday

2007-03-22T12:15:00.000-08:00

I don't usually read the local paper, because it's the local Anchorage paper. But, occasionally something perks my interest: this kind of headline (big letters, above the fold) pretty much guaranteed that I'm in. As to the substance of the article, I liked that movie better the first time. Or the maybe this first time. Whatever, still good stuff...

Simba has a good one on the evil that is Billy Packer. Simmons is far more generous than I in explaining the essential Grinchness that is BP:
Here's the problem: Packer loves basketball a little too much. He doesn't grasp its entertainment value simply because he can't see it. He's too busy wondering why a coach won't switch to a 2-3 zone or why a team has stopped pounding it inside or why they won't foul to stop the clock when they still have two to give. Trapped in the nuances of the game, it's like Packer has stumbled into the giant maze in "The Shining" and can't escape.
Perhaps. Or he's just a dick. Whatever. Also see Simmons on the Rick Barnes-D.J. Augustin conspiracy to keep Kevin Durant in college.

Upon repeated recommendations from Papa Pooh, finally watched "The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada". And it was...weird. All the performances were good, the visuals were beautiful, but nothing was resolved in the end (which is I guess the point), and the non-linear story-telling was confusing due to the lack of visual cues as to which time frame each scene was set. 7/10.

In worrying news, I've started playing teh poker again recently. A few things. A) I'm still pretty decent. B) There are a lot of people who know how to play, but have no idea how to play. C) I like free money. At this point, we're only playing live games at friends house's, since getting money into or out of online poker sites is dicey, as our former GOP congressional overlords thought that combating online poker was more important than little things like passing budgets or winning wars.

I'm crippled in my favorite pool though still alive in the office pool (if Pitt beats UCLA, I'm in very good shape, actually). As for who I actually think wins today? Texas A&M over Memphis, since Memphis hasn't played anybody all season, and Acie Law is dominant in the clutch - classic tight game, late game choke from the more talented Tigers in this one. Kansas has way, way, way too much for Southern Illinois - KU has 4+ guys who can create their own shot, or make plays for others. As good as SIU's defense is, can they guard Julian Wright and Brandon Rush at the same time? Plus, I think Sherron Collins can make plays from the point, even against (or especially against, given his bowling ball style) physical defense. I think Tennessee's speed forces Ohio State to play fast. Which is unfortunate for UT, because I think OSU plays better when they go small with Conley, Butler, Lewis and Cook playing with Oden. Thad Motta could conceivably try and murder the Buckeyes again, (Xavier ran the same play about 10 times in a row - high pick and roll with Oden's guy setting the pick, giving him the ball 20 feet away from the basket, taking Oden off the dribble - without OSU having an inkling of stopping it, and Motta didn't make any adjustments. Like you know, putting Oden on a guy who couldn't dribble or something) but Buckeyes by 8 or so is the pick. UCLA beats Pitt in a shootout after another boring nil-nil draw.

Interesting...

2007-03-19T16:00:00.000-08:00

No time today to really collate my weekend tourney thoughts, especially because Sunday's games were, in general, snooze inducing. It's almost as if the teams were as worn out from Saturday's games as we all were.

No, this is simply to pass along a quite perceptive comparison overheard at FreeDarko:

Though, I think the best comparison for Durant is sort of an evolutionary

This implicates one of the subtle ways in which race and basketball are inextricably linked. White players only get compared to other white players. Black players are never compared to white players. (By compared, I should probably say "analogized," since how you come out on the Magic/Bird comparison can probably still get you beat up in LA and/or Boston.) This holds, even for players whose games are "blacker" or "whiter" than their ethnicity might suggest. Jason Williams was only ever compared to Maravich, whereas someone like Nick Van Exel would have been a better match. Similarly, Rip Hamilton is always presented as the heir to Reggie Miller, when really he's pretty much the modern day Havlicheck. And the thing is, this unwillingness to make cross-racial comparison is so deeply ingrained that it took me about 20 minutes to think of the two just listed.

The "Gunk" (And Duke Demise Thoughts)

2007-03-16T14:29:00.000-08:00

I get sick twice a year. Once in October, once in March. This being March, I have what I like to call "The Gunk". Bad times, especially during the Madness. (I have little to add to the volumes already written, other than to say that losing a really good game to VCU was about as much credit as Duke could have possibly gotten from this tourney. They would probably have lost by about 20 to an awful Pitt team - take VCU in that one, kids - in the second round. At least now people can say "hey, that Paulus ain't so bad" and look forward to next year. Except he is so bad, you have seen his absolute peak. Meanwhile, McRoberts appears to have a bad case of the Shavliks, wherein he gets worse every year. Also, the UNC fans are really classy, giving standing ovations when their team makes fast break threes to go up 22 with 3 minutes left against a number 16 seed. Who had them terrified when it was a 4 point game. I hate you, Roy Williams, drink your Coke and STFU already.)

On the plus side, my abdominal muscles are getting a great work out from all the coughing - surprised that no one has come out with that video workout yet. Looking at you, Billy Blanks.

Bling, er, Bling?

2007-03-09T09:42:00.000-09:00

Overheard

The Black card is proof that people will spend sickening amounts of money for the privilege of spending yet more money each year. The best thing about it is the occasional good Clipse rhyme it inspires.

Oh yeah, and it does look kinda cool in person. I had a customer use one once when I worked retail, and it inspired long discussions of what the perfect ostentatious credit card would look like.

Let me take a gander: Diamond encrusted with flashing LED's oscillating between the symbols for various currencies, and a sound chip that yelled out "I'm rich, Bitch!" every-time it gets swiped.

5 Things On Thursday

2007-03-08T13:47:00.000-09:00

Wha? No, seriously, WTF? There are so many questions I have for which I'm truly afraid of the answer. I mean, if that is in the employee handbook to begin with? "Even if a passenger requests such an action"? Also, Tim makes a salient point:
I have long believed that Northwest Airlines is not only the worst airline in America, but is in the running as being the worst corporation in the country.
The Kevin McHale of the airline industry, perhaps?

I am mystified by the SternBot's latest. (Though this is funny, and I think Gerald Henderson, Jr. feels the same way) Mr. Commissioner, whatever image problem your league has, this is not the method for solving it: When Pac-Man Jones is the NBA's fault too, suspending people for accidental collisions seems like kicking the dog because you got into a car wreck. Basketball is a contact sport, people get hit in the face, and benching one of the league's marquee attractions for his only appearance in certain cities...just ugh.

Happy trails, Henrik. And thanks:

Rome has been quite good this season. Superior to last season, I think. Though the actor that replaced Max Pirkis as Octavian doesn't do much for me ('inscrutable' works much better for showing intelligence for a 14-year old than it does for a twentysomething. Then he just looks like a bad actor.) For me, the show is meant as something of a rebuke to those who prattle on about the "decline of Western Civilization." Given the Romans, we seem to be doing quite well, so far as such things go.

Sudoku is the proof that the devil makes mischief for idle hands.

"Black Snake Moan"

2007-03-07T11:23:00.000-09:00

Watching this film may be the closest you'll ever come to seeing what the blues actually looks like. It's dirty, and it's stinky, but most of all, it's something that comes from within a person's soul.
- Frank Wilkins, Real Talk Movie Revies

If you're only going to see one movie featuring Sam Jackson with a reptilian title...actually, I neither want to finish the joke, nor google to see how many people have already beaten me to it.

BUT, I actually quite liked "BSM." Considering that it is the sophomore effort from Craig Brewer of "Hustle & Flow" fame, and it features Samuel L. Jackson, the Dirty-South blues, and Sam Jackson unabashedly channeling the late, exceedingly great R.L. Burnside (the film is dedicated to Burnside), my operative term for this one was "Wheelhouse" from the moment I heard about it.

And then I heard a little about the plot. What the hell is Christina Ricci doing in here? And then I saw the first preview last fall sometime (shown prior to Jackass 2, no less. A ringing endorsement for film quality.) 'Yes' I thought, 'Sam, why do you got her chained?' I became skeptical as to how this could possibly work. All my favorite feminists were predictably appalled.

And in truth, it doesn't work. But, Brewer knows that the whole premise is instantly risible. Instead of trying to make it believable, he ratchets the whole thing up to eleven so you're never really sure if he's serious or not. And many of the individual pieces are just right. The southern-fried atmospherics are perfect - watching in a theater carved out of the frozen tundra, it still felt sweaty and insect-filled. Jackson plays the perfect combo of broken-down and explosive-tempered - I'd have no problem seeing him whip out an actual Ass Pocket of Whiskey, and take a slug, as he drives his tractor.

And the music...first, see the quoted lead. Second, much like "Hustle & Flow" (and "8 Mile" as well), the palpable love, reverence even, that the film has for the redemptive power of the music is what makes the whole thing go. Third, the juke-joint scene near the end should (but obviously won't) retire the 'sweaty dance-club' genre of music videos. As Kenny the Jet would say "it's over, ladies and gentleman."

Somethings work less well. S. Epatha Merkeson has the only really thankless role in the piece. Ricci's performance is good. The problem is, like with Halle Berry in "Monster's Ball", her physical attractiveness is almost a distraction. If the movie was played completely straight, this would be a fatal flaw, but as a quasi-exploitation flick, Brewer just about gets away with it. Given the parallels between Jackson and Ricci's relationship here and that of DJay and Nola in "Hustle & Flow" one is almost forced to wonder about aspects of Brewer's personal history - "H&F" was unabashedly autobiographical, whereas BSM almost has to be more allegorical. But still, that this aspect was so similar in both it does make one think.

In the end, the movie adds up to something slightly less than the sum of its parts, certain dramatic shifts seem overly, well, dramatic, and the conclusion is all too neat. After a fully unique first 2/3rds, Brewer loses the courage that got him to that point.

As a final note, like it or not, 'Black Snake Moan' is unique. Given the excessively homogenized, focus-tested mess that is major American film-making today, I'm all for that. The best possible outcome is that someone will see the film as overtly misogynist and/or racist and make their own, similarly novel, movie almost as a response. I'm not holding my breath, however.

Guess Who's Back...

2007-03-05T09:47:00.000-09:00

And there was much rejoicing, like we just ate Brave Sir Robin's minstrels.

Anyway, for those of you who didn't know, my extended absence was occasioned by...the occasion of the Alaska Bar Exam. In an effort to minimize my online time, and therefore maximize the studying, I rather cut myself off from the internet.

I didn't check email, I didn't surf, I didn't read or write blogs/comments. Heck I barely answered the phone...(thanks for the kind wishes those of you who provided them...) And for some reason, bar exam and studying therefore aside (how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?) this was kind of awesome. Except for the 600+ emails I have to sift through now...anyway, a lot happened while I was gone, but I can only review so much:

The Departed was not the best movie of last year. I think we all know that. The problem is, can anyone think of a movie that was worhty of being called "the best"? For all intents and purposes, I thought "Little Miss Sunshine" was the betterest movie of 2006, but calling it "the best" is a bit like drafting Andrew Bogut #1 overall. Is that all there is? Reese Witherspoon should have won something, just so she could have come onstage again. Al Gore is not running, he was funny, twice, and no politician actually running is going to risk that.

That Texas-Texas A&M game was all kinds of awesome. Acie Law yelling "That's what I Do!" at his teammates after making some ludicrous game saving three is why I love college hoops. Reminiscent of Cat Mobley telling Dickie V. of the guy guarding him "I'm busting that ass..."

Tyler Hansbrough needs to stop letting himself be compared to Eric Montross. He should probably transfer to avoid it, at this point. Big gangly white kid? Check. Star for UNC? Check. Bleeds easily against Duke? Check. Vastly overrated pro prospect? Transfer, young man, transfer.

I liked "The Black Donnellys" better the first time when it was called "The Godfather".

Immediate post-exam observation: There is nothing worse than waking up smelling like last night's cigarettes. I spent most of the weekend in the shower trying to wash the smell off. That, and I couldn't really complete the thought required to turn it off and get out...

Slowing My Roll

2007-02-09T14:28:00.000-09:00

While it may seem like I'm on something of an anti-LeBronikova kick, that's only because I am. That said, my inflated expectations might be getting the better of my judgment:

James' 2005-06 season was more extraordinary than most people realize. In fact, since 1979-80 (the first season for Magic Johnson and Larry Bird), James had the best Player Efficiency Rating for any non-center age 18 to 22, posting a 28.1 PER at age 21. In other words, during those 27 years, only Shaquille O'Neal put up a better statistical season by age 22.
James easily outpaced Michael Jordan, Amare Stoudemire, Tracy McGrady, Kobe Bryant and all the rest.
Naturally, now we expect more from James. It comes with the territory.
Instead, James has tailed off.
That doesn't mean he's having a bad season -- far from it. He just turned 22, and his current PER of 23.7 would be the 10th best (since 1979-80) for players age 18 to 22. (emphasis mine)

"Still really good" isn't a complete rebuttal of "should be better," but it would be churlish not to admit that he's still quite useful, despite teammates who could charitably be described by my friend Retz as "blowing donk".

And while I'm speaking of ludicrous expectations, we may need to hold an intervention for Simmons:

Anyway, when Chad Ford wrote that Oden had more upside than Durant last week, we had a lively e-mail exchange about it, with my basic point being, "Look, Oden has a chance to be one of the best five centers ever ... Durant has a chance to be one of the best FIVE PLAYERS ever" and Chad qualifying his point by discussing overall impact on a team (if you draft Oden, you're more likely to win a title because franchise centers invariably win titles … well, unless they're Patrick Ewing). We could go round and round on this, and over the next few months, we probably will. All I know is that MJ was the last guy since Wilt to crack 37 a game in the pros … and Kevin Durant will be joining him in 5-6 years if he stays healthy. That's not even hyperbole. I don't see anyone stopping him. But will his rebounding/shotblocking catch up to the rest of his game? And will his teams ultimately win? Those are the looming questions.

When someone describes something as not even hyperbole, the chances of the statement in question being hyperbole approach 164%. And that's not even...But pedantry aside, what? I've been on the Durant bandwagon for a while yet (he was the most impressive player, by a mile, in the McDonald's game last year), but 37 per game? In today's NBA? If someone was going to do it, wouldn't it have been Kobe, last year?

Simmons is setting himself up for a big fall here. There's really no way this ends well for him. Either the Celtics get the #1 pick, take Oden (like they should), and he's bitter that they didn't take Durant, who wins RoY going away; or, they get the #2 pick, take Durant, and he doesn't live up to Simba's advance billing; or between the gleeful espousal of fantanking and his glorification of Oden/Durant over everyone else, they get the #3 pick, just to prove that Larry Bird, Kevin McHale and Robert Parish are not walking through that door.

Karma

2007-02-09T10:12:00.000-09:00

Injuries are never funny. Except when they are.

Tyrus Thomas on being invited to the NBA Slam Dunk Contest:

"I'm just going to go out there, get my check and call it a day," Thomas said.

Asked if an opportunity to rub elbows with some of the game's greats could be beneficial for a rookie, Thomas kept unlacing.

"I'm just into the free money," he said. "That's it. I'll just do whatever when I get out there."

Tyrus Thomas, trying to get some in-game practice:

2 thoughts. First, the Kevin Martin 3 at the other end is about an 85% shot in that situation. Shaq probably makes 3 of 5 from there in this sequence. Second:

Update: As about 7,000 people have pointed out, the best thing to come out of this might be James White in the Dunk Contest. If he catches the third one in this video, it will be the greatest dunk I've ever seen...

Scratch My Back, Baby

2007-02-09T09:46:00.000-09:00

Well played, RIA. Since my personal favorite Thorogood & The Destroyers song is not really available on YouTube (this does not count. I love George, and I loved LoTR, but they go together about as well as milk and orange juice,) I'm going to flip the script and go a different direction:

Your move.

Profanely Serious

2007-02-08T12:05:00.000-09:00

Note: This is not the greatest post in the world. I wrote it, and then blogger ate it. This is just a tribute.

Writing is a revelatory thing. Use of ALL CAPS is a shout; use of profanity to me reflects unseriousness
-Some dude

Writing is a revelatory thing. The words chosen can demonstrate flippancy and frivolity. You can demonstrate passion and anger. Or you can wow with dispassionate analysis. That much I agree with, but can we please put to bed the notion that profanity renders an opinion unserious? This dismissiveness is both galling and lazy. (Speaking of dismissals, John Edwards has apparently told those like the above quoted to sit and spin. Good. And speaking further of dismissiveness, is calling him "some dude" dismissive? Damn right it is. Deal.)

I try to not swear a whole lot on this here blog. I'm not exactly sure why, since I've dropped an F-bomb or two in my day. Partially it's that my dad reads, but that makes so sense since he swears like a sailor, especially when driving. Partially, it's that I'm not entirely sure who reads this. (Hey Boss! I'll get those TPS reports to you just as soon as I finish some important business.) Mostly it's that given what I actually write ("have polemic" and all), I worry that full on pottymouthitude will push me from "angry, but in a cute and cuddly way" to "scary."

But

That's my preference, and I'm certainly not offended, shocked or scandalized when I four-letter word appears on my screen. Certainly a string of profanities can be inarticulate, but then so can posts attempting to use all kinds of $10 words that don't mean what you think they mean.
First

Second, the suggestion that profanity is not expressive, nor a means to conduct information is demonstrably false:

Third, we aren't writing academic papers, nor are we delivering speeches or testifying in court. We're blogging. Part of the appeal of blogging is the immediacy of "just talking". To signal this informality, we might slip into a more familiar form of address. By which I mean calling our friends assholes for continuously bullshitting us. It means we're relaxed and comfortable. As much as I might like to rise up on my hind legs in court and say "Objection: The witness is bullshitting, your honor" that might fall short of the standard of proper decorum. And maybe I want to leave decorum at my office.

This isn't to say that all or even a majority of the naughty words printed on these here intertrons are meant to signal clubbishness, or embody a chosen vernacular. Sometimes they are just expressions of raw id. Sometimes they are meant to wound. But the passion inherent in all of this emoting is can hardly be anything but serious.

"Oh, Indeed"

2007-02-07T16:27:00.000-09:00

John Hollinger ($, bitches) came out with his top ten least improved players in the NBA this year, and, surprise, surprise:

2. LeBron James, Cavaliers
James was my pick for MVP a year ago, and like many I thought he'd pretty much take over the league this season. What we've seen instead is a surprising slip backward, including a dip in scoring numbers and a puzzling slump from the free-throw line.
It's easy to blame exhaustion from the world championship, but Dwyane Wade and Dirk Nowitzki played in the same tournament, and both are dominating. A better explanation might be Cleveland's lack of a real point guard, which doesn't allow James to play off the ball more.

Or...he doesn't really give a crap?

Indeed.

"Good Character Guys"

2007-02-06T16:58:00.000-09:00

I made a snotty aside to this in my SB post, ("God hates Chicago"), but overt religiosity by athletes/coaches has always bugged me. First, I suspect that the whole point-to-the-sky thing is a less overt version of the sack dance. Yet another way of saying "look at me." Poster child for this was always Cris Carter, who was by most accounts a complete prick during his playing days. So, color me cynical when I suggest that his 'thanks-to-God' schtick was just that*. Second, there's the sheer ridiculousness and arrogance of suggesting that God cares about a football game. I'm reminded of the Chris Rock bit where, imitating a losing boxer interviewed after the fight, he says "I was doing fine, until Jesus came down and busted me in my ribs." Third, what are we really talking about here? Tony Dungy, such a great guy. Except when he isn't (via Dwil):

Virtually every article about Colts coach Tony Dungy praises him as a devoted family man of deep religious values. But Dungy’s values do not extend to tolerance for gays, which is why he will be the honored guest for Indiana’s leading anti-gay political organization.

For all the hagiography about the Colts "doing it the right way" that we've heard in the last few days, you wouldn't suspect such open bigotry. Even understanding that prop sports in general and the NFL in particular are not especially welcoming to non-heterosexuals, this is surprising and disappointing. Though upon reflection, I shouldn't be either surprised or disappointed. I'm in no position to offer a lecture or to pontificate about why Dungy has any special responsibility to gay people. But am I off base in wondering why this is both ok and not a bigger story, nationally? Instead of focusing on such trivia as a candy bar ad, why are we not talking about this great guy, Tony Dungy, being honored by a group who's main purpose seems to be to deny rights to their fellow citizens?

Which leads me question what we mean by having a team full of "good character guys." Peyton Manning just might be an asshole, but he's a "good talker," so he gets a pass. Allen Iverson shows real erudition at times, but he's surly at others and vaguely scary, so he's a "bad character guy." How do we know enough about any of these guys to say? It would be different if we had personal knowledge. I've interacted with a few pro athletes, enough to say that he's a good guy, and by proxy, so is he; Randy Moss is in fact a jackass. But beyond that, what the hell do I know? And why should I base my opinion of them on their ability to conjugate a verb or not have tattoos?

*I'm not doubting that Carter was and is a very religious man, giving his recovery from substance abuse. However, I doubt very much that he is praising God, instead inviting you to praise or at least notice Carter.

LeBronikova

2007-02-05T14:08:00.000-09:00

I forgot to mention in my Enormous Salsa Cup XLI coverage, that I was already in a sour mood before the game started after watching the Cavs get dismantled by the Pistons, and LeBron looking (again) like he just didn't give a flying rat's ass. So, until he shows me something, it's the Official Policy of WAP that Mr. James will be known as LeBronikova. This will remain in effect until I get the sense that he feels the need (as opposed to a mere preference) to win.

If I can find it sometime today, I'll post the straw that broke the camel's back...that baseline reverse dunk down 10 with a minute left after he stunk all day. He managed to get his 8 "Kobe-time*" points to finish a respectable 9-22 for 21 pts, but that vastly overrates his contribution to the game.

*Kobe, pre-Phil Jackson, was the greatest garbage time scorer of the last 2 decades

XLI Plus - Minus

2007-02-05T10:08:00.000-09:00

Plus: Billy Joel, with a huge upset, gives the win to the under on the "1:45 National Anthem" prop bet. Geezeman clocked it at 1:36.

Minus: Billy Joel is really the best that they could do? Was John Mellencamp unavailable due to rerecording the remix of "This is Our Country" for the next round of stupid truck spots?

Plus: A Super Bowl being played in football weather. I agree with MY, Edmonton next year.

Plus: Devin Hester. Gone.

Minus: Everything else the Bears did with the ball.

Plus: Rock-Paper-Scissors (ok, who out there was with me in asking "who throws f'in paper? You p****!"), the BlockBuster Mouse, the New Fist Bump and Connectile Dysfunction.

Minus: Every other ad. Seriously, if the top ten Super Bowl adds includes not one but two movie trailers (including one for this obvious dog, though I laughed and laughed at the T.Rex at the end of the spot for this one: "I have a large head and small arms", it seemed to say. How it longs for a grapefruit), you have problems. Also, I'm all for making fun of K.Fed rapping, but if the commercial is 80% K.Fed rapping...then I just watched 40 seconds of K.Fed rapping. This time does not get credited back to my account because it was presented in ironic fashion. The Go Daddy ad was also very disappointing. If you are going for the prurient, go for the prurient. Tastefully done, my ass...

Plus: Prince. I liked it, damnit.

Minus: Shannon Sharpe plagiarizing the late, great, Robin Harris at half time, acting like it was the height of wit.

Plus: Mmmmm...Steak.

Minus: Large dog trying to steal my steak.

Minus: Jim Nantz as the Official Budweiser Authority on Black History XLI (I'm sure they sold naming rights for this). A tradition unlike any other! Black History and Augusta National, I see no problem here at all. The tiebreaker being Billy Packer...gah...)

Minus: According to Irsay and Tony Dungy, god hates Chicago.

Overall: Giant "meh."

The Swag's in the Mail

2007-02-03T12:43:00.000-09:00

I don't know how, or why, but I'm more of an NBA fan now then I have been since...who knows when? Partially, college basketball has been so bad for so long (and without the 'Stache or even a particularly interesting Duke team to follow), that I've kinda given up on it until March. I mean Greg Oden is a beast, Jo Noah is vastly overrated, and Kevin Durant might just be the second coming of George Gervin, but we know all that already, so why watch? Partially, it's the baseball offseason. And partially it's that I can't really bring myself to care too much about the 41st Exceptionally Large Fruit Receptacle game. Go Colts, I guess...

But also, over the last two seasons, there has been a marked improvement in the aesthetic quality of the games. Plus, I've had a DVR, so I can watch games at my convenience. Additionally, FD and other sites have greatly enhanced my enjoyment: I now watch a basektball game almost as I used to watch a film (before they all started sucking because the best writers are working on cable dramas), with an eye towards narrative structure and character development.

In any event, a few things about this here Association:

This is all kinds of awesome from Gil. Video here. (Via H. Abbot.) Swag. Phenomenal. (Speaking of Swag, mine is here too...)

Call me crazy, but I kinda sorta think ~~Mehmet Okur~~ Sam the American Eagle should be an all-star this season.

Some called me crazy, but I now fully doubt whether LeBron really gives a shit. Simba picks up on it, (ironically in a column largely about Anna Kournikova, to whom I compared LBJ):
the difference between Wade (killing himself and ramming his way to the rim over and over again like a running back) and LeBron (on cruise control and seeming disinterested most of the time -- and yes, I know he's hurt, but I've watched him mail it in too many times this season and we're nearing the point where Barkley needs to call him out on TNT) was absolutely startling. One guy just wants it more than the other guy. It's that simple.
The "wants it more" thing can be deceiving - Tim Duncan is incredibly stoic, but there isn't much question about his "wants to". But in remembering back to the first time I saw LeBron play in person (at the Tar-get his rookie season), yeah he was a little sick (by report) but also a little indifferent.

Top quotes of the 1st half. My favorite:
"Typical NBA punch. In hockey, your own team would beat you up for that."
-- Two-time MVP and proud Canadian Steve Nash describes his thoughts on Anthony's punch and quick backpedal in the Knicks-Nuggets brawl.
Also, evil meets evil
"Next time he does that, break his f------ foot!"
-- Thomas tells his team his strategy for handling the Spurs' Bruce Bowen, whom Thomas had accused of sticking his foot underneath his players' when shooting.
Stay classy, Zeke.

Marxist_iam?

2007-02-03T12:25:00.000-09:00

Overheard at Steph's (warning, extreme tech-wonkery ensues):

Don’t you think it ironic that as our Republican administration is sweeping away all manner of civil liberties they are mandating business adhere to stringent “privacy” protections for the consumer. Does this not suggest that we are as more valuable as consumers than citizens?

It does indeed so suggest. Also, "duh".

Further, Megan has an excellent series of posts defending (in qualified fashion) the regulatory state, as well as demonstrating why GWB's mandated additions of zampolits to all executive agencies is bad idea, even setting his ideology aside.

(With apologies to RIA, who seems harried)

BlogReader Bleg

2007-02-02T09:59:00.000-09:00

Here's a quicky for the collected wisdom of my ~~legions~~~~dozens~~seven ~~fans~~ family members who read this. Does anyone have a recomendation for a good, easy to use blog reader/aggregator type thingee, so I can have the wonders of the intertubes delivered directly to me, presumably via truck driven by Senator Stevens?

5 Things on Thursday

2007-02-01T12:45:00.000-09:00

Don't f with Frankie. It does not end well. Seriously.

Not to get tin-foil hatty, but was the Sternbot's egregious suspension (more here of Kobe Bryant (seriously, it's basketball. You get hit in the face. It happens) some kind of backhanded (pardon the pun) ploy to rehabilitate the image of the man DLIC calls Bean Thousand? Is it mere coincidence that the next game he got "MVP" chants. On the road. In Boston?

Joe Biden is a doofus who probably saved us a fair amount consternation by getting his candidacy-killing gaffe/misstatement/grandpaism early. Meanwhile Barack Obama remains awesome. I say "remains", because we were on board. (Note this is not meant as a political endorsement so much as a personal one.)

How did my dentist just find me? I don't open the mail from you, I don't call, I don't write. Some might call this stalking. Needless to say, I now have an appointment in a few weeks.

Speaking of weird basketball happenings, this involves the worst dive I've seen since the World Cup. What is it about West Virginia and massively hyped basketball prodigies? More here. [Update: in comments, Icepick makes the not unreasonable point that Iverson is from Hampton, VA. To which I respond in two ways. A) Shut up. B) I meant the western part of both Virginias, obviously.]

Rezzies (Quasi-Belated '07)

2007-01-30T17:54:00.000-09:00

I didn't quite meet my, in retrospect, insanely aggressive New Years Resolution '06. (At least not without resorting to Enron style accounting.) It was still worth it, and will be revised for this year, though reduced by 50% to account for my increased work hours. So, 2.5 books a month = 30 books in '07. I already have 3 down, so I'm ahead of the curve. But, been there done that, so I need a new one.

Obviously, passing the AK bar is a priority as well, but that's for, like, work, so it doesn't count either. Plus, I've done it once, what could possibly go wrong?

Which brings me to the actual resolution. With due respect to Lauren's concern (hey, I've been a gym regular since August, so I don't count as one of those pikers. I note that the herd is thinning already,) being careful to avoid tragic mistakes and being cognizant of the generally pernicious effect of using weight as a proxy for health, I still have a resolution regarding weight loss.

Thankfully, it's both modest, and, I think, obtainable. I'm down to about 215 now (from a very mirthful* 230 or so, circa the wedding) I'd like to be under 200 by MARS, and down to around my 'playing weight' (was about 180 in college, but would be more like 190 now given that my upper legs and hips were skinny and not at all powerful back then) by the end of the year.

* Cherubic, some might even say.

Tuesday Thoughts on Tribe, Tony Campbell and My Fuddiness

2007-01-30T12:15:00.000-09:00

Driving the 20 or so miles to and from my Monday night rec league basketball game allowed me time to conclusively answer Joey's quandry: Low End Theory is superior to Midnight Marauders as an album. I hadn't listened to either in a while, but damn, they are both good (contra Spackerman. But he's too angry to get Tribe to begin with, true, true). As to why LET is better, watch as I take some one else's intelligent words and pass them off as my own:
The beat in Check the Rhime, and the way they dance around it (and each other) is pure magic. And since the other half of my library is jazz, I love what they do in Excursions and We've got the Jazz. Scenario is just explosive and powerful. Nobody fucking rapped like that in 1991, and here's a 19 year old who's about to blow up.

Don't get me wrong, comparing these two albums is like comparing winning a million dollars vs. winning a million and ten dollars. But there's no question in my mind that the nostalgic and technical and creative impact of LET was superior.
Indeed.

Speaking of my Monday hoops league, I think I'm empirical proof of the Tony Campbell theorem: Given a sufficiently offensively untalented surrounding case, anyone can get 20 per game. (Fun note: TC's point guard? Pooh Richardson!.)

(pictured: Not this Pooh)

Speaking of music, I think I've officially reached the sad day when I can no longer even hope to keep up. I don't think I've bought an album in almost 4 months (The Raconteurs, if you must know). I'm not sure how I feel about this. Surely there has to be some non-suck music coming out these days, right? Who is the "Clipse" I keep hearing so much about? Is there anything of note in the White Stripish Blues-Rockish area? Help a Pooh out here, will ya...

Chip Off...

2007-01-28T15:15:00.000-09:00

RIA's kid seems as puzzled by the appeal of HRC's candidacy as I am. (Scroll to the bottom)

And for no reason at all, Tyge!

5 Things on Thursday

2007-01-25T17:47:00.000-09:00

Linking is not thinking. But then, I'm a doer not a thinker. I create my own reality...

Useful tips, thanks Wolfson.

How is it possible that Carlos Boozer hasn't blocked a shot since December 17?

Chuck Hagel, my man:

A while back, Ezra took a skillsaw to the West Wing for portraying politics as "a realm of comity, decency, respectable opponents, and honorable intellectual warfare" despite the manifestly counter-factual nature of this vision. Despite my undying love for The Wing, Ezra is almost certainly correct. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't aspire to a more high-minded version, though. I imagine that Hagel and I would agree on virtually nothing, and he would mince few words in denigrating my positions. But on this evidence he'd engage in the discussion rather than attempting to preempt it with ad hominem up ad hominem.

Steve Nash, also my man:

Which reminds me that I need to say nice things about Jack McCallum's new book about the '05-'06 Suns. Great read, with a lot of inside baseball (basketball...) which you simply don't get in most accounts. A fascinating look at the internal psychology of a professional sports team.

Yglesias has a good nomination for Stupidest Thing Ever Written in the History of the World, For This Week At Least. [Update 1/26/07: See also Greenwald.

That's all, we'll try harder next time.

Queien es Mas Macha Loca?

2007-01-24T16:28:00.000-09:00

Rep. Michelle Bachmann or former Rep. Katherine Harris?

Is there a law of thermodynamics which requires that the level of crazy in Congress remains constant?

(H/T - TIM)

Who Wants

2007-01-23T18:03:00.000-09:00

To Sex Mutombo?*

This guy!

Dikembe Mutombo grew up in Africa, amid great poverty and disease. He came to Georgetown University on a scholarship to study medicine — but Coach John Thompson got a look at Dikembe and had a different idea. Dikembe became a star in the NBA, and a citizen of the United States. But he never forgot the land of his birth — or the duty to share his blessings with others. He has built a brand new hospital in his hometown. A friend has said of this good-hearted man: “Mutombo believes that God has given him this opportunity to do great things.” And we are proud to call this son of the Congo our fellow American.

*(for the non-hoopsfiles, background:

Possibly the greatest contribution to the game by Dikembe Mutombo may be the phrase, "Who wants to sex Mutombo?" To quote The Mighty MJD, "Dikembe walked into a Georgetown bar one night [in the early '90s], the entire place stopped to look at him, and in response, Mutombo just yelled out, "WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTOMBO?!"

so for the second time today, If You Don't Know, Now You Know.)

Update: caption contest, get your red hot caption contest...

The Part I Agreed With (SOTU part deux)

2007-01-23T18:01:00.000-09:00

Three weeks ago, Wesley Autrey was waiting at a Harlem subway station with his two little girls, when he saw a man fall into the path of a train. With seconds to act, Wesley jumped onto the tracks … pulled the man into a space between the rails … and held him as the train passed right above their heads. He insists he’s not a hero. Wesley says: “We got guys and girls overseas dying for us to have our freedoms. We got to show each other some love.” There is something wonderful about a country that produces a brave and humble man like Wesley Autrey.

Word:

Mr. Autrey was waiting for the downtown local at 137th Street and Broadway in Manhattan around 12:45 p.m. He was taking his two daughters, Syshe, 4, and Shuqui, 6, home before work.
Nearby, a man collapsed, his body convulsing. Mr. Autrey and two women rushed to help, he said. The man, Cameron Hollopeter, 20, managed to get up, but then stumbled to the platform edge and fell to the tracks, between the two rails.
The headlights of the No. 1 train appeared. “I had to make a split decision,” Mr. Autrey said.
So he made one, and leapt.
Mr. Autrey lay on Mr. Hollopeter, his heart pounding, pressing him down in a space roughly a foot deep. The train’s brakes screeched, but it could not stop in time.
Five cars rolled overhead before the train stopped, the cars passing inches from his head, smudging his blue knit cap with grease. Mr. Autrey heard onlookers’ screams. “We’re O.K. down here,” he yelled, “but I’ve got two daughters up there. Let them know their father’s O.K.” He heard cries of wonder, and applause.

Good on you, sir.

Litmus Test

2007-01-23T15:58:00.000-09:00

When he asks "and what did dad get?"

There is only one acceptable answer as far as I see it: "Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit"

If You Don't Know, Now You Know

2007-01-23T15:34:00.000-09:00

Occasionally one runs across a word which, even taken in context, one is unable to really figure out what it means. For the last two months or so, my dictional bugaboo has been "soi-disant." It doesn't help than one of the chief employers of this word is a notoriously bad speller/proofreader when blogging, but I've never figured out what it meant other than that it was pejorative. Well, being a good soi-disant blogger, I looked it up:

soi-disant \swah-dee-ZAHN\, adjective:
Self-styled; so-called.

Just a soi-disant public service from me, to you.

(And if you catch me actually using this word more than once a month, you have full permission to call me a pretentious wanker. Not that Yglesias is that - his blogbag includes much more erudition than you pay me for, and with that you get ~~eggroll~~ $10 words.)

Just to Sum Up

2007-01-21T18:45:00.000-09:00

Bad, Bad, BAD sports day for Pooh.

I should have known it wouldn't end well after getting up too damn early for this gut-punch. Then Tyge snarfs the fresh pumpkin bread (leaving little pumpkin boogers in his beard for moster of the day, and then...ugh and ugh...

Called It (Part the Reverse)

2007-01-21T18:18:00.000-09:00

Immediately after poor interference call on NE (don't you have to touch the receiver for it to be interference?*), Steph (who is inexplicably rooting for the Colts. This might not work out, pops...) says "well, you guys will win it anyway."

Anyone with any experience with her skills of prestidigitation knows that one could safely shut the TV off. So it always was, so it shall always be.

This leaves me in a positiong similar to last year's NCAA hoops final, where I'm forced to pick between the lesser of two massively annoying teams.

I won't be booing, I'll be yelling "Moooo-vers"

* All the bitching I'm going to do, I'll leave the rest to others...

Called It (Part Deux)

2007-01-21T15:43:00.000-09:00

Quoth the Geezeman: "You know, Asanti Samuel has turned himself into a heck of a cornerback."

Ensuing play = Peyton Manning face...

Called It

2007-01-21T14:58:00.000-09:00

Congrats Chicago Bears. I guess. The Extreme Large Fruit Vessel XLI will be much less interesting with them instead of the Saints, both in terms of the actual game, and the stories leading up to it. I admit to a certain degree of fatigue about hearing about the wonderfulness of the Saints' players and how they Rebuilt that City on Rock and Roll (note that Joe Buck gave Reggie Bush a completely free pass on his outrageous taunt-front flip-and-dance routine on his TD. I have no problem with any of that, but imagine Buck's reaction if it had been, say, The Randy Moss doing those things...), but the Saints are also a more interesting Football qua Football team, I think.

In any event, all that is merely a long-winded windup (like I do), for me noting that Sean Payton made a huge tactical error that likely cost them the game, and I called it at the time. Consider, Uncle Mo has been standing on the Saints sideline since before half-time, Rex Grossman was making Eli Manning look composed, and the field conditions were miserable. Why the hell would you kick a 48 yard FG? Just pin them inside the 20, stop them again, and so on. As it was, Figgie predicitably missed (is it ever a good sign when your kickoff guy comes on to try a long FG instead of the regular kicker. Does this ever work out well?) Saints get the ball inside the 5. They panic, take a safety, and the only time the Bears look in trouble from then on was when Rex almost got picked by Uncle Mo switching sidelines in the middle of the next drive.

And all of this was so obvious at the time, I was expecting Simba's assistant coach for common sense to stop the madness, but it never happened.

Go Pats...

Blow My Mind

2007-01-18T15:08:00.000-09:00

My love for Free Darko is no secret. Whether taking a blowtorch to a particular statistical snake-oil sales man, preemptively squashing any attempt to rehab Isiah Thomas or simply linking to the greatest piece on basketball 'style' that I've ever read, it's always enlightening and entertaining.

Sometimes, however, it simply defies rational description. Consider the pictorial coda to today's query on whither Lebron:

I'm shocked and awed.

(As an aside, as I asked Tall via email, am I crazy for beginning to question Lebron's drive, for lack of a better word? At what point does he enter the Kournikova/Hilton zone of someone who is famous for being rich & famous rather than successful?)

I Swear...

2007-01-17T19:54:00.000-09:00

I have interesting stuff to say. No really. Why don't we all assume I've been exceptionally witty for the past few weeks, that way I have some momentum going for when I actually start posting with regularity again.

As an aside, and a recommendation I feel needs to be passed along, see The Prestige if you get the chance. It is all kinds of awesome.

Suck It, Denver

2007-01-04T15:41:00.000-09:00

More than a foot and a half of snow yesterday in the 'Burg. And our flagship (and only...and only semi-) pro sports team still played.

Pikers.

Discovery

2006-12-21T16:09:00.000-09:00

Hoopsmack

In the glory days of my wit, I used to write things like this:

Living down here in South Florida I have the luxury or misfortune (however you want to phrase it) of watching Toine play for the Heat and after all these years I have been finally able to figure out why Toine shoots the way he does. For just the slightest of movements Toine loses his balance and is forced to shoot tippy-toe jumpers or last minute heaves at the basket while in the lane. The answer? His giant, oddly shaped head of course. If you are trying to balance a flowerpot on your head and you suddenly move without thinking what will happen to the flowerpot? Same situation here. Toine moves so fast that he forgets his head has to catch up with the rest of his body causing an imbalance of weight forcing him to of course shoot all out of balance. It makes perfect sense to me now.

Then there is the NBA's bottom ten. Unsurprisingly, the Brians Madsen and Scalabrine feature prominently. And finally, from their pre-AI trade musings on what would happen to each team should they acquire Iverson:

Milwaukee Bucks - Iverson begins to pout about a diminished role playing next to Michael Redd and is joined in his chorus by sullen second year center Andrew Bogut. The two get caught in a feedback loop which scorches the earth, converting the entiree [sic] state of Wisconsin into one giant nacho.

Maybe someday soon I'll watch a movie or read a book or talk about something not relating to sports...

All AI All The Time

2006-12-20T16:17:00.000-09:00

My last one until he actually, you know, plays for the Nuggs.

But, damn, Henry Abbott gets this perfectly right:

You know those glow sticks they give little kids on Halloween? With the neon goo inside? Where you and I have blood, Iverson has that glowing stuff pumping through him. He's just on fire, all the time. If you could spread that magical juice throughout your roster, you'd win the title every year--talent and size be damned.

But as it is, Allen Iverson has two gallons of it, and most people don't even have a teaspoon. There's your trouble. Hmm... it's a game won by the best team... so what do you there? Through most of his career, Allen Iverson has known what to do there: win the damn game himself. He can see how and where the fire is burning, and by comparison it's almost all in him.

Deep inside all of us, upon hearing and seeing that, there's some eighth grade basketball coach ready to tear that little punk a new one, with a lecture about teamwork, a lecture about leadership, and a lecture about lighting the fire in your teammates, instead of complaining it's not burning brightly enough and moving on.

Well, I urge you to turn off that little coach for a second. Why? That coach's point is valid, but his tactics suck in this instance. You are simply not going to convince Allen Iverson to change anything about his game with a lecture.

15 years later, it's easy to forget how much heat Sam Smith got for writing "The Jordan Rules" because it supposedly made MJ look bad (I didn't think so at the time, but then I was never under any allusions that a professional sports team was full of best buddies. Remember the old adage about the Sawx, 25 players and 25 cabs...) The parts that were so controversial were about Michael's tendency to not just denigrate, but destroy his teammates if he didn't think they were matching his intensity. Which none of them ever were or could (with the possible exception of Rodman, but that was a craftier and less volatile MJ as well). The Bulls of the late 80's were littered with players who might have turned out to be functional NBA role players had Jordan not simply ended them as basketball players. Dennis Hopson. Brad Sellers. Stacey King. Heck, Kwame Brown is just now, maybe recovering from the scars.

But here's the thing, those that could survive the heat earned his respect, and acquired some of Jordan's drive. He willed Scottie Pippen and Horace Grant into becoming star material. Or more exactly he willed them to have that desire. And at the key moments in Jordan's first title run, he had trust in his team, finding John Paxson over and over for the buckets that beat the Lakers in what would turn out to be Magic's swans song.

Up until that point, people questioned whether MJ could be enough of a 'team player.' But put the right players and personalities on that team, and of course he could be.

And until I'm proven wrong, I think the same thing about Iverson. He is desperate to be surrounded by guys who will come with him. The one time he had anything resembling a tough-minded team around him, he went to the finals with Aaron McKie, Eric Snow, Ty Hill, George Lynch and Mount Motumbo. Not a whole lot of talent in that group but they brought it every night. Snow may have been the worst jump shooting guard in the entire league. Until the Sixers needed it, then he was cash.

Is Denver that kind of team? Well first of all, that there is more talent alongside AI is abundantly clear. Secondly, the Nuggets have some tough (or at least tough-minded) bastards in Camby, Boykins and the dead hard Eddie Najera (No points for injured fake-thug Kenyon Martin though). Melo may seem laconic, but lest we forget, he's won a championship without a whole lot of help, give or take Hakeem Warrick. Whether JR Smith can handle the fire is a very open question. We shall see.

But my point is this: Iverson needs teammates he feels are both willing and able to win, and this is as close as he's going to come. And he's got to know that and adjust accordingly. I think he will. Else he's the spoiled punk everyone thought he was, and I'm eternally disappointed.

Worlds Colliding

2006-12-20T10:38:00.000-09:00

Sometime, somewhere, I posted my top five press-conference meltdowns of all time. I can't seem to locate it at the present time, but I'm fairly certain it included Bob Knight and/or The Tuna losing it, John Cheney trying to choke John Calipari, Herm Edwards "playing to win the game." It was a while ago, so Denny Green was not yet "who we thought he was." But the top two, well, come on:

I could die happy. (H/t Skeets)

And as a bonus, Outkast vs. Charlie Brown:

(h/t Yogo)

Answer

2006-12-19T14:27:00.000-09:00

If you don't love Allen Iverson you're either an idiot, know nothing about basketball, or both. This is a non-negotiable edict. I don't care if you think he's a thug, a malcontent, a coach-killer. That you hate hip-hop, tattoos and corn-rows shouldn't matter. When I think of AI, the first thing I usually think of (well, the second after smiling at the thought that he is my 80-something gramma's favorite player and has been since he entered the league) is Rod Tidwell in Jerry Maguire:

No heart? I'm all heart motherf*****!

Despite this, he is (or at least was, paging Mr. Artest and/or Mr. Anthony) the poster child for the NBA's "image problem". Which makes it a certain kind of perfect that he is apparently being traded to the Denver Nuggets.

The real villain is not Allen Iverson, it's Pat Riley.

If there is any justice in this world, the Nuggets and Suns will meet in the playoffs.

Rawkin'

2006-12-18T17:32:00.000-09:00

Rock Star

You scored 96%!

You damn rock star. You know all the basics, and if you got any wrong, I bet it was that stupid Traveling Wilburys question.

Your friends are probably intimidated by your knowledge of classic rock and envy your impressive collection. When a classic rock song comes on the radio, you can probably identify it before the vocals kick in most of the time. You probably get good scores on the "maiden name of Clapton's mom" tests, too.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on notes

The BASIC classic rock Test
(via Ahist)

I can assure you that it was not the Wilbury's question, because they didn't even ask about the fifth member, Jeff Lynne of Electric Light Orchestra. I think I just destroyed my street cred...

BasketBrawl 2.0

2006-12-18T16:29:00.000-09:00

If ever there were a punk move in sports, it's got to be cheap-shotting an opponent, then blaming the opponent for running up the score. Once and for all, citizens of the world: If you don't like your opponent running up the score, play better. This is the big leagues. Your incompetence is not your opponent's problem.
- King Kaufman in Salon (h/t supersaurus commenting at Yglesias)

While I have some more rambling thoughts on "L'affaire d'Madison Square" over at TWT (thesis: Brad Radke and Carmello Anthony, kindred spirits. If that doesn't hook you, I dunno what does...), I've been surprised that I have shared in the modal reaction (see Yglesias and commenters as well as the majority of the FD commentariat: 'Melo (Namond Bryce, you mean? Nice catch, Yogo...) shouldn't have swung; Nate Robinson is a jackass; Mardy Collins didn't do anything that bad (and was probably put in an impossible position by Zeke); Stern overreacted, but the main (and unpunished) villain of the piece is fucking Isiah Thomas. Has there been a sports figure that has managed to so thoroughly destroy so many things as Isiah?

In any event, I think Mark Stein at ESPN captures my thoughts perfectly (and is behind the Insider wall) so:

Instant reactions to the main MSG Fight Night penalties meted out Monday by NBA commissioner David Stern:

Carmelo Anthony: 15 games
Too many games ... way too many when you hear that Isiah Thomas will sit out zero games. Seven to 10 games was a sensible range to me.

Don't forget that Orlando's Keyon Dooling and Seattle's Ray Allen got five and three games, respectively, for a scrap that happened less than a year ago. Melo's sucker punch, when things were finally dying down, was certainly more egregious than what Dooling and Allen did ... but not three or four times worse.

(One footnote: Any league suspension longer than 12 games entitles the suspended player to an arbitration hearing, but I'm told Anthony has not yet decided whether he plans to seek a reduction.)

Nate Robinson: 10 games
Five games less than Melo? Nobody -- not even Anthony -- escalated this thing more than Robinson, needlessly jumping in the faces of multiple Nuggets in his latest attempt to prove how big and tough he is.

Little Nate never landed the kind of roundhouse that got Melo in trouble. But his transgressions were right up there with Melo's.

And neither Robinson nor Thomas has shown a shred of remorse, either. Anthony, at the very least, issued a lengthy apology.

J.R. Smith: 10 games
This thing probably never gets near paying customers if not for Robinson. But Smith tumbled into the baseline seats with Nate and was later seen throwing a punch. So even if he was goaded, Smith's actions outweigh any alibis.

It should be obvious now that NBA fights will forever be scored differently -- and met with harsher punishments than yesteryear -- because each new fight dredges up memories and footage and commentary about the Malice of Auburn Hills.

Mardy Collins: Six games
Collins' inexcusable foul on Smith triggered the melee, and a two-handed hit that hard has to be met with a stringent penalty.

But I also believe -- taking my cue from insiders with both teams -- that he was merely a rookie doing what he was told by his coach.

Doesn't get Collins off the hook, obviously, but it apparently happened the night before, too: Collins was sent into garbage time of the Knicks' blowout loss at Indiana and picked up a flagrant foul in the final two minutes.

Isiah Thomas: Zero games
Stunning. Absolutely stunning.

You can argue that Zeke deserved to be hit hardest of anyone involved, frankly, given the MSG footage clearly showing Thomas telling Anthony that it "wouldn't be a good idea" to venture into the paint.

Isn't that proof of premeditation? An unmistakable threat?

The Knicks' spin -- Isiah was imploring Melo to show more class than his coach? -- is laughable.

Unlike players who lose control in the heat of the moment, I'm quite sure Thomas knew exactly what he was doing.

Yup.

For the Guy Who Has Everything

2006-12-17T13:40:00.000-09:00

My father is the world's hardest person to buy gifts for. This morning at coffee, I asked him what he wanted for Christmas (for about the 50th time since Dec. 1, I might add). He said "Let me think about it..." after talking with the Slat Rat for about 30 minutes while he cogitated, I asked him what he'd thought up.

"What was I supposed to be thinking about again?"

But thankfully, my blogfriends supply me with ideas. My dad loves margaritas, and is obsessed with snowmen, so voila!

The Gun From The Rising Son

2006-12-14T11:24:00.000-09:00

My thoughts on the Sawx acquisition of Daisuke Matsuzaka, or rather my rambles, at TWT.

Belated

2006-12-14T10:30:00.000-09:00

Happy Fifty-Tenth, Pops!

Today's Truths

2006-12-12T15:16:00.000-09:00

Shoals at FreeDarko has an almost indescribably fantastic post about, more or less, basketball as a metaphor for finding meaning in an essentially anonymity inducing consumer culture. Relatedly, I mourn for Francisco Liriano by demonstrating that (shameless) imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Barack Obama... I mean this is 6 kinds of awesome, and really, for me, this is about 150 kinds of kick-ass. But since we here at WAP are all about substance over style (except when we aren't) how much of this is playing the Saxophone on Arsenio? I just don't know enough to get excited about him for any reasons aside from A) he ain't Hillary, and relatedly B) he might win, even against John (St.) McCain. Now, talk to me about Gore-Obama '08, and I'm ready with the bumper space.

KFMonkey drops the hammer on the third season of Lost _boom. I don't really have anything to add other than to call bullshit on the show's creators any and every time they claim to "know where they are going" with the whole story of the island. If they're just making stuff up at this point, I'll start a fund so that we can get better, uhm, stuff to the writers' room, and we can go full-on David Lynch on this piece.

I am boring (ht: Lance:

How evil are you?

A tailer-made description of why I keep saying (in comments) that basketball is not-especially amenable to SABR-geekdom from today's Daily Dime:

You may never see a highlight of this play, as it did not result in a bucket or dunk, but follow this to get a glimpse of the kinds of things that happen in an NBA game on a nightly basis:
Deron Williams beats a show by Dirk Nowitzki on a ball screen, drives middle and makes a sweet no-look pass to Carlos Boozer. Boozer, challenged by a good shot-blocker in DeSagana Diop, loses the ball on his way up, sending the ball high into the air. Williams, on the baseline following his pass, jumps high to keep the ball away from Anthony Johnson, who otherwise would have an easy recovery, and bats the ball toward the free-throw line.
Boozer, Diop, and Devean George all make an effort to get a hand on the ball, but it ultimately goes to Andrei Kirilenko. AK-47 takes an immediate dribble toward the rim and Diop, who gets back into defensive position. Andrei bends his long 6-9 frame down to almost half his size and throws a perfect bounce pass, thru Diop's legs, to a waiting Jarron Collins under the basket.
As Collins goes up for the layup, Diop reacts quickly and blocks Collins point blank at the rim.
The entire play takes nine seconds and produces two missed shots, a good hustle play by four players, two terrific passes, and a blocked shot. And no points. Oh, and three verbalized "wow" calls by me as it happened. Highlights alone do not tell the NBA story.
Nor do the stats as we collect them.

That's all for now. Theo, get it done, or JoBu is coming to get you:

Compare and Contrast

2006-12-12T09:39:00.000-09:00

Without looking at the headers, which of these is actually Easterbrook, and which is parody? No points for answering "it is the real Easterbrook and a parody, your mother, your sister, your mother, your sister...." *SLAP*

Sorry about that...

Anyway, best bit of the parody?:

80% Of This Column Was Written Using Autotext! DirecTV has a monopoly! There is "dark matter" in the universe! CEO's who fly private planes are fucking assholes! Coaches only make decisions that will make them look good! No one touched the running back on that run! He shouldn't get any credit! My son Spenser is very advanced and will ruin the curve for your unintelligent child!

(HT joeo in the Unfogged Mineshaft)

Take Your Pick...

2006-12-10T16:55:00.000-09:00

Two entires in the "why I love soccer" notebook...

Matty Taylor:

[Update: Deadspin reminds me that since Taylor has done this before, it's definitely not a fluke:

As I'm sure they're still singing in Portsmouth, Taylor For England!]

Or Michael Essien:

Sorry about the poor quality, when a better one goes up on YouTube, I'll snag it.

(Also sorry, Tim. I along with half of Manchester was hoping that Arsenal would hold on...I would have settled for a draw before a ball was kicked and certainly will live with it considering that shelling Lehman's goal took over the last 10+ minutes.)

Difficulties

2006-12-10T15:48:00.000-09:00

I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I probably won't reach the 50 in 52 mark...unless, I account creatively. Hey, Ezra says it's ok:

I find actually listing the books I read throughout a year a troublesome enterprise. So many of them end up half-finished, somewhat-skimmed, or otherwise partially absorbed that I'm generally left with a fairly small number of books read, and a somewhat overwhelming mass of books somewhat read.

Indeed. I mean if I add together fractional books read, I think I'm probably over the hump. As it is, should I force myself to finish a book that kinda and/or totally sucks just to meet some arbitrary goal?

In my defense I had just finished reading this which I enjoyed immensely, and thought to myself "if I like a 'rivalry' book so much when the author hates my squad, it would be even better to read one where I'm with the Good Guys." Except that Blythe's book is well-written and original, whereas the Sox-Yankees book is reheated, rehashed and probably a staple on many remainder racks at this point.

So I may not reach 50 individual books completed, but will have read the equivalent of 50 full books by the end of the year. This strikes me as a plausible interpretation* of my resolution.

P.S. If you are a hoops guy, I thoroughly recommend "To Hate Like This..." One of my top five or so for the year, and certainly in the top two for sports (along with "Fantasyland" which I still hope to blog about at TWT prior to the New Year")

* It's true, The Law has destroyed what little shred of soul which may have survived the first 29+ years o'life. I'm legalistic parsing my own new year's resolution. This does not end well...

WHY?

2006-12-10T14:08:00.000-09:00

I think I asked this last season, but if you're going to have an off-court dress code, why are these atrocities okay? First the new ball (feels ok just shooting around, but when you actually play with it, tears your hands all too shit. I've never gotten paper-cuts playing ball before...) and now this. Will the Real David Stern Please Stand Up, Please Stand Up?

What's This?

2006-12-08T15:13:00.000-09:00

Random Gifts I've received on this Friday.

1. Just discovered TBogg's Friday Izzard Blogging. If you don't know about Eddie, well:

2. Somebody has promised me holiday cookies...I forgive you for spoiling that World Cup match, or I will once they arrive...

3. Blogger has given me the gift of allowing tags/categories on my posts. Because what I need is a time sink of going back through ye olde(ish) archives, and er, archiving things. And then maybe I'll get around to finishing the 7 books I need to complete in 23 days...(yipes).

4. My name is now on the new company letterheard. We just got it back on from the printer today. I'm such a sucker for trinkets like this...(though I'm still not listed on the website. Chop, chop, people)

5. Of course the office also has given me the gift of...working all weekend.

PigF***r.

By Request

2006-12-08T09:10:00.000-09:00

I've been informed that people are really feeling the lack of Oranger SasquatchBlogging. This being friday, I thought I'd oblige:

Papa Pooh prepares to cud da toikey on T-day. Tyge, per his wont, is incorrigible.

I can say from recent experience that pops is actually getting off pretty easy here. During my recent dog sitting experience I realized how difficult it is to eat with one hand while continuously stiff-arming a 100+ pound dog with the other.

We know about Manny being Manny...

Tyge being Tyge...

In other cute pooch new, Gunner arrives (along with Lil Sis) next week. Sure there will be cute pictures to be had:

Maybe I should start a regular feature - Friday Pops and Dogs blogging. He does have a birthday coming up, and that kind of gift is right in my favored price range.

These Five Things I Know Are True (12/6)

2006-12-06T17:44:00.000-09:00

1. This week's Studio 60 was clearly the best of the year thus far. Sorkin can clearly write a Christmas episode (though I desperately wanted them to Just Shut Up And Let The Band Play at the end) - it got a little dusty during this:

2. "Heroes" on the other hand, might be losing me. Aside from Hiro, and the Cop Who Hears Voices, none of the characters really pop.

3. Via AOL's NBA blog (featuring Shoals of FD fame), Tim Hardaway, respect:

Timmy was probably my favorite player after Reggie Lewis died and before KG came along. Of course the "UTEP Two-Step" signature move from the old EA Sports games had a lot to do with it. (Two crossovers, a spin, and a running floater which went so high it went off the top of the screen, IIRC. And if you think that didn't have a formative effect on my own shot selection...well, as Tall says, I don't have shot selection as it's more of an accumulation.)

4. My Fantasy Football team blows, if you cared. Mainly because I'm terrible at it. The team I drafted would be doing pretty well. Given my GMing skills, maybe I should cut Theo some slack...not likely.

5. Finally, Miss Frankie, very, very very NSFW. Or for having liquid in your mouth while reading. Monitors are both fragile and spendy.

My Mantra

2006-12-06T10:11:00.000-09:00

Tim asks:

Pooh,

Your public is waiting for you to weigh in on this JD Drew to the Sawx business.

Five year grace period...five year grace period...five year grace per, aw screw it.

WHAT THE F@*&, THEO?

I stick up for you, if you no sign Matsuzaka now...

J.D. Drew for $70mil? (ok, Julio Lugo is an upgrade at short...but then wouldn't Hanley Ramirez do just as well if not better? It's not like he's proven himself at the Major League lev...what's that? RoY? PigF****r...) To continue with a theme, he has talent but he has no...MARBLES. We think MannyBeingManny is flaky, but you never really feel like he doesn't give a crap, just that he goes about things the wrong way. J.D. Drew does not, in fact, give much of a crap. That's a good fit with the Boston media. But at least we have the Japanese John Halama on board.

I was telling PapaPooh the other day that if we don't close the deal on Matsuzaka, this will have been a disastrous off-season. Isiah Thomas bad. Matt Millen bad. Don Rumsf...no, that's too far.

Five year grace period...five year grace period...five year grace period...

Things I Know Are True

2006-12-04T15:01:00.000-09:00

1. I was wrong, wrong, wrong about Vince Young. Good on you, son. Though I can safely say that I was 100% right about Eli Manning. Though Eli is not helped by his coaching being the biggest jackass this side of Bobby Huggins.

2. Ohio State. Give the points. Michigan. Give the points. Whoever is playing Notre Dame. Give the points and then some.

3. To quote myself on Wire #49:

Not to get all Bethlehem Shoals here, but 49 completely validated the agony any fan of the show has come to expect, dread, and crave in equal measures. In previous seasons, they've managed to spread out the heartbreak - this year, they dumped it on us all at once. In a way, it was a relief, because my expectations being what they were, I felt a great deal of foreboding as to what precise terrible things were about to happen.

Is there any way that Child Services lets Bunny take Namond in? Is the world only big enough for one of Michael and Bodie? How does the rug get pulled out from under Daniels?

4. Someone find me the YouTube of Carmelo going all Dr. J from this weekend...

5. I just got caught up on the first 3 shows of "DayBreak" this weekend. Surprisingly strong. Plus it has Jayne, playing, well, a guy just like Jayne. Good times.

Victory Is Mine

2006-12-04T14:53:00.000-09:00

Your 'Do You Want the Terrorists to Win' Score: 100%

You are a terrorist-loving, Bush-bashing, "blame America first"-crowd traitor. You are in league with evil-doers who hate our freedoms. By all counts you are a liberal, and as such cleary desire the terrorists to succeed and impose their harsh theocratic restrictions on us all. You are fit to be hung for treason! Luckily George Bush is tapping your internet connection and is now aware of your thought-crime. Have a nice day.... in Guantanamo!

Do You Want the Terrorists to Win?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

(via Yglesias, amongst others.)

In a completely unrelated note, can I get a Sheik, What? from my KFAN homies out there?

Program Director, Yasay?

Overheard

2006-11-20T13:53:00.000-09:00

I understand that Kevin Garnett is a monster that emeges from a basketball shell covered in green gatoraide, but his career to this point compares unfavorably to Alex English's.

Ouch. Discuss.

Caught

2006-11-14T15:46:00.000-09:00

I couldn't run forever - the powers that be have caught up to me. My assignment, whether I choose to accept it or not: Document Review.

It's everything I thought it would be and so much less...

Lutefisk, Lutefisk

2006-11-10T10:53:00.000-09:00

Lefse, lefse, I'm from Minnesooooda, yeah sure you betcha:

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
The Inland North
The South
Boston
North Central
The Northeast
Philadelphia
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

(Via CharleyC)

Well, not actually from there, but I lived there for long enough that I can pass. Especially when I get drunk - then I sound like Jerry Lundegaard.

A Few Notes From Too Much TV Time (Election Edition)

2006-11-08T10:52:00.000-09:00

1. Does anyone have a copy or video of Harold Ford Jr.'s concession speech? It was stunning. I was flipping channels last night, especially when they had candidates giving speeches, but I couldn't click away from his. Chris Matthews on MSNBC was clearly smitten, and with good reason. Magnanimous after perhaps the nastiest race in the nation; poetic; and appropriately upbeat - the man is 36 and clearly knows he'll be back.

Update:Here it is, (H/T Feddie)

2. I like Pat Buchannan. Not his politics (at all), but out of all the talking heads, he is the most honest. He doesn't say what you want to hear or what he thinks advances his interests, he serves it up straight, no chaser. And the rest of the blabbermouths couldn't deal with this. He alone avoids the Pundit's Fallacy. Part of the problem our politics has is that the discussion of it is often too meta - the thinking taking on additional layers of complexity like a Russian nesting doll.

3. Bye Rummy. Good riddance. Not entirely sure if this, in itself, means much in the way of 'change of course,' but combined with the realigned congress and the fact that Gates seems to be at the very least, a reality-based grownup (and thank goodness, not a fleepin' neocon), this strikes me as good news.

4. How does a state dependent on oil and gas (aka fossil fuels) elect a governor who doesn't believe in dinosaurs? FWIW, mom, I called both the governor and house race right to within 1 percentage point of the final margin. Diane Benson did well to get 40% (a female, Native, democratic candidate who favors subsistence over game hunting running against a billion term incumbent anti-intellectual redneck who refused to debate her...)

5. George Allen's quest to be Mini-Bush is getting a little creepy. Recount yasay?

What struck you?

Morning In America?

2006-11-08T09:37:00.000-09:00

Look, I'm massively cynical about our political system. Perhaps painfully and counter-productively so. So don't begrudge me my morning of jubilation, okay?

Before yesterday, in my darker moments (becoming more and more frequent, and a major reason I stopped talking about politics in this space) I was wondering whether the American Experiment hadn't irretrievably failed. The Torture for Terror...er...Military Commissions Act was the last in a long line of straws by which we seem to have sacrificed our essential Americaness at the altar of...hell I have no idea what the purpose was unless I'm going to be completely cynical and say at the altar of political gain. To steal a quote from the (fictional) Jay Landsman, we did not cast off our ideals lightly. We hurled them away with great force.

And it's not like these actions were the result of a popular mandate. The President is unpopular, and has been almost continuously since America more or less decided he didn't suck quite as badly as does John Kerry - and the fact that it's even a question is a rather sad commentary on whatever conventional wisdom got JK the nomination in the first place. Giving massive new powers to a guy no one even likes that we know or at least suspect that he has no idea how to actually use constructively = bad times.

The rest of the world was watching, and this felt like out last chance to convince them that the worst things said about us aren't accurate.

It was in this frame of mind that I started hearing about various shenanigans yesterday morning. Being both a Red Sox fan and having only really followed politics since 2000, I was already expecting the worst. And then, it happened. I really can't describe it any other way than that. I guess the turning point for me was the first batch of Senate exit polls followed quickly by the canaries falling like dominoes in Indian, Kentucky, Pennsylvania and upstate New York. After that I felt pretty ok - the early reports of voting problems were overblown, and I was perhaps a little bit paranoid.

And now, with the human gift for turning history into narrative, I can see the TfT act as being the nadir, and maybe we can bring it back. I'm actually feeling a bit optimistic today. But that doesn't mean it's time to rest on laurels. The Dems may or may not have "had a plan" before today, but now they need to get on it, toot suite.

To go back to "The Wire" well, "gettin' clean is the easy part. Now comes life." Last night was the easy part, the new Congress has a mandate for change. Not for "change," but to put the work in and do it right. When it comes down to it, I think that the public is going to demand competence above anything else at this point. I'm prepared to accept (some) policy outcomes I don't like as long as we the people get what we pay for.

I don't know exactly what this "competence" means substantively, because that's above my pay grade. But I know what it doesn't mean, and that's more politics for politics sake. I'm all for investigations, but not witch-hunts. It's no longer enough to talk about how the current administration and previous Congress got it wrong. Show me something better, don't just tell me about how great it would be if you did.

So, Speaker Pelosi, Senator Reid, and the presumptive '08 candidates, you're on the clock. Don't let us down.

Update: See also, Ogged:

For as long as there have been liberal blogs, there's been a dastardly Republican majority in both houses of Congress. The blogs are voices of anger, opposition, and witness. So now what? Those things aren't the things we need anymore. I can't be the only person who looked at Eschaton this morning, saw that the Wanker of the Day was Rahm Emanuel, and burst out laughing. But I won't be laughing for long if the blogs don't adapt, and we have the activist blogs turning their anger toward moderates, and the wonky blogs having good faith discussions about precisely how to calibrate the COLA.

Mr. President...

2006-11-07T19:26:00.000-09:00

Henry Waxman, line 2. Something about "subpoena for records."

In other news, popcorn futures are way up.

A Sign

2006-11-07T17:23:00.000-09:00

Just had a pretty moderate-sized earthquake up here. The earth is moving, and so forth...

Cocoon

2006-11-07T09:27:00.000-09:00

Is it over yet? Are we there? Wake me up in time for the Daily Show tonight...

Are the MFY's Neocons?

2006-11-03T13:32:00.000-09:00

I'm with Drezner, Best. Op-Ed. Ever.:

TRADE A-Rod’s continued failure to deliver in the clutch is diverting critical resources and dividing our team. He must go. We need to move on, now!
KEEP Trading A-Rod would lead to a disaster in the American League East. It would embolden other teams and threaten future Yankee clubs. To cut and run is not an option.
TRADE Neither is “Stay the course.”
KEEP Not once has the Yankee brass said, “Stay the course.” That’s never been the plan!
. . .

TRADE We’re sending our kids to fight an endless war in Boston, when it’s Detroit that attacked us. After we swept the Red Sox in August, you hung out your Mission Accomplished banner, but nothing has been accomplished.
KEEP The Yankees never said it was over. The news media said it was over. And I acknowledge the challenges. We must adapt. We must heed the experts. Joe Torre and his coaches have said they believe A-Rod should come back. We must listen to them.
TRADE Those are the same “experts” that batted A-Rod eighth!
KEEP You would stoop so low as to attack Joe Torre? Have you no shame? Have you no shame!

RTWT

In other news, Pasta Diving ("and another one pastadivingJeter") won his third straight gold glove. Dreams do come true.

Season-Appropriate Headwear

2006-11-02T09:54:00.000-09:00

I've seen stories like this (hat tips to commenters all and sundry) pop up all over the place:

Debra A. Reed voted with her boss on Wednesday at African-American Research Library and Cultural Center near Fort Lauderdale. Her vote went smoothly, but boss Gary Rudolf called her over to look at what was happening on his machine. He touched the screen for gubernatorial candidate Jim Davis, a Democrat, but the review screen repeatedly registered the Republican, Charlie Crist.
That's exactly the kind of problem that sends conspiracy theorists into high gear -- especially in South Florida, where a history of problems at the polls have made voters particularly skittish.

A poll worker then helped Rudolf, but it took three tries to get it right, Reed said.

But hey, that's just Florida, we already know they can't figure out how to vote.

Except:

KFDM continues to get complaints from Jefferson County [Texas] voters who say the electronic voting machines are not registering their votes correctly.

Friday night, KFDM reported about people who had cast straight Democratic ticket ballots, but the touch-screen machines indicated they had voted a straight Republican ticket.
Some of those voters including Lamar University professor, Dr. Bruce Drury, believe the problem is a programming error.

Saturday, KFDM spoke to another voter who says it's not just happening with straight ticket voting, he says it's happening on individual races as well, Jerry Stopher told us when he voted for a Democrat, the Republican's name was highlighted.

Stopher said, "There's something in these machines, in this equipment, that's showing Republican votes when you vote for Democrats, and I know Ms. Guidry's a nice lady, and she's working hard, but her theory that my fingernail was somehow over the Republican button is just unrealistic, my fingernail was not. The equipment is not working properly as far as I can tell."
Jefferson county clerk Carolyn Guidry says her office has checked the calibration of the machines and found no problems.

She says the electronic system is very sensitive.

Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm voting Democratic...

Mas Bookblogging

2006-11-01T18:08:00.000-09:00

Finished #40 over the weekend (and it was a doozy), but need to get caught up after the quickies from last week.

#32 "In the Shadow of the Law" by Kermit Roosevelt: Probably this year's winner of the "Wolf" memorial "all setup, no payoff award." Continuing my trend of doing unwise things before a big life change, (like viewing "The Paper Chase" the night before my first day of law school...and then my torts prof turns out to look just like Kingsfield. Of course, he turned out to be a real sweetheart, but I was yet to know that and was thoroughly terrified...) I read this legal thriller (use of term is advised) the weekend before starting the new job.

From what I can tell, Roosevelt gets BigLaw culture pretty right on. There's the superstar, the striver, the frat-boy, the burn-out, the old coot, etc.

And then, well, it gets silly. I won't spoil it for you because describing the various plot set ups would take too long, but suffice it to say that there is not one, but two ridiculous deus ex machina reversals that would have John Grisham himself shaking his head and saying "no f'in way." Not quite as cringe-worthy as Dan Brown's hand held parachute in Angels and Demons, but close.

#33 "Assassination Vacation" by Sarah Vowell. If only "Killing Yourself to Live" had been as witty, fun, and oh yeah about the advertised topic as this one. A meandering journey through the twists and turns of the Lincoln, Garfield and McKinley assassinations, and the motley cast of characters each seemed to throw up. Most intriguing and tragic was the story of Lincoln's son, who, Forrest Gump-like was more or less present for all three. Just the right dose of modern politics for my liking as well (Vowell, unsurprisingly considering her oeuvre, is decidedly, though not viciously, left-of-center.)

#34 "What's My Name, Fool? Sports and Resistance in the United States" By Dave Zirin. Is it odd to be a Marxist sportswriter? It would have to be - I can't imagine a more perfect "opiate of the masses" than spectator sports. In some places *cough*NotreFreakinDame*cough*, football really is religion. But anyway, Zirin is in fact a Marxist sportswriter. Unfortunately for this reader, he spent a little too much time in the Rick Reilly School of Overwrought Simile. Combined with his decidedly Leftist politics, there are some profoundly silly passages. I'm all for more Dick Cheney jokes. But just not bad ones.

Anyway, some parts of the book are actually decent - the historical sections dealing with Jackie Robinson, Ali, and the Carlos/Smith black power salute. Easy enough where events have shown the protagonists to be on the Right Side of History, as they say. The more recent stuff, not so much. Too often, he confuses "wit" (advisedly used) with substance. Further, sports seen through a completely political lens is uh, lame. He can't decide whether the players are the avenging angels or class traitors. I get confused.

That said, there are some decent bits in the more recent stuff. He takes a nice healthy run at George Foreman, and actually had two very thought-provoking essays defending Barry Bonds. Overall, too much vinegar, not enough...(huh?)

More soon...

Bookblogging Update and Quick Hits

2006-10-27T17:27:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm at 39, just finished Sully's, will get to that sometime this wkkend. Since I'm hopelessly behind in blogging the quest for 50 in 52, I might have to cheat a little and give some quick hits.

#25 - Ghengis Khan and the Making of the Modern World by Jack Weatherford: I can save a ton of time here by simply saying 'What Angelica Said.' The main thing I took away from the book is how ruthlessly utilitarian the more famous of the Khans (Genghis and Kubilai) were. They get a bad rap for being cruel and all that, but the time period, they weren't so bad. Ok, if you were an enemy soldier, they killed you, but there wasn't nearly the wholesale slaughter, rape and pillage which seems to be a staple of other 'civilizational' contests.

#26 - A History of the World in 6 Glasses by Tom Standage: Like Salt, but with liquor instead. Since I like drinking more than I like cooking...

#27 - How Soccer Explains the World by Franklin Foer: Think of P.J. O'Rourke doing his "everything is crap" routine, but instead of warzones, soccer clubs. Really would have been better titled "How Soccer Reflects the World," but that's a minor quibble for a very readable book.

#28 - Brilliant Orange: The Neurotic Genius of Dutch Football by David Winner: Quite possibly the best book I've read this year. Wide ranging discussion of Dutch culture, ingenuity, individualism, racial integration and the 'style vs. substance' debate, seen through the prism of Dutch soccer. The Dutch are, with reason, often known as 'the Brazilians of Europe' for their stylishly attacking football. At least prior to this World Cup's much less extravagant side, they were. But there are particular psychological, perhaps even psychiatric reasons why they never seem to come good in the end. Fascinating read.

#29 - 31 - The Mind of Bill James by Scott Gray; Triumph and Tragedy in Mudville by Stephen Jay Gould; Fantasyland by Sam Walker; 3 baseball books, which I'll cover at TWT sometime soon.

More to come sometime this weekend...

Clockwork

2006-10-27T17:22:00.000-08:00

Monday - First Snow of the Year

By Friday - Massive Head-Cold. Blech.

For future, reference massive head-cold #2 is scheduled for late February. Just in time for...aw, crap.

The Irony is Perhaps Lost

2006-10-27T09:19:00.000-08:00

I really had no special desire to see this.

That is, until this (via Glennzilla):

In an Ironic Twist of Events, NBC and The CW Television Network Refuse to Air Ads for Documentary Focusing on Freedom of Speech...NBC responded to a clearance report submitted by the Weinstein Company’s media agency saying that the network “cannot accept these spots as they are disparaging to President Bush.”

The CW Television Network responded that it does “not have appropriate programming in which to schedule this spot.”

I'm not sure which angers me more, CW's lying (not being a demographer myself, I can only speculate that there would be substantial crossover in the audiences for say "Gilmore Girls" or "Veronica Mars" and the Dixie Chicks. But that's just me, who am I to tell the bastard child of the 5th and 6th broadcast networks (out of...six) that they have no clue?) or NBC's uncharacteristically bald-faced truth telling.

Glenn hits on a point I've made (see here) in the Net Neutrality debate:

Once corporate-owned networks start selecting which politically-tinged ads are "too controversial" and which ones are not, it is inevitable that messages which please the political leadership which regulates those corporations will be allowed, while messages that displease those political leaders will be rejected.

FWIW this will probably shake out in favor of the film, if this controversy gets any play at all. For example, I now think I'm going to go see it seven or eight times out of spite. And I hate the Dixie Chicks...

Another Slice of Pooh

2006-10-25T10:10:00.000-08:00

My favorite libertarian recently posted an article on FoxNews (how do they still let him post there? He's clearly an apostate. But I digress...) about the sillyness, both substantive and political of the GOP's decision to ban online gambling (read: poker):

The people who are going to be affected by the ban are the millions of Americans who play online poker recreationally — and responsibly. But that $12 billion per year is going to simply dry up. Problem gamblers and minors will still be able to find places online to make wagers.

Any attempt to prohibit consensual activity is going to create black and gray markets. The legitimate, law-abiding gaming sites may now be out of reach for Americans, but that'll create a niche for truly unregulated sites. These sites will be far more prone to fraud, won't much care about the age of their customers, and customers who are defrauded will have no recourse.

There's also no telling who's behind them. But it's probably a safe bet (pardon the pun) to say that the people operating black market, blatantly illegal gambling sites will include a significant criminal element.

This being a topic on which I have some interest (former lives and all that...), I fired off an email, which he was good enough to publish:

Good article. I have two points to make in response - the first is that this is incredibly tin eared on the part of the GOP. My guess would be that poker professionals *should* be solidly in the GOP base - there is no more naked a form of capitalism then the ruthless meritocracy of poker. Yet, as you suggest, in a single move, the GOP has decided to jettison this group (a group with both visibility and money to spare to contribute to candidates who won't try and kill their livelihood.)
My second point relates to the notion that this is simply leaving tax revenues on the table. Yes, the operators of poker rooms won't pay taxes, but neither will the professional players. I subsidized grad school with online poker, and I always paid taxes on my winnings. Now? No way would I expose myself to criminal sanction by declaring "Other Gambling Winnings." And I don't think I'm the only one. Given the size of the market, that's significant tax revenue simply being left on the table so that state lotteries (or, as most poker players refer to them "taxes on stupid people")
and Indian casinos can maintaint their monopolies and we can "save the children."

Gregg Easterbrook: Making Sense (almost)

2006-10-24T11:42:00.000-08:00

My favorite new show of the season is Friday Night Lights - (Heroes, Studio 60, Shark and The Nine all have their moments, but suffer from certain flaws. KF Monkey covered Heroes overly-portentious dialogue pretty well; Studio 60 is, surprisingly for Sorkin, unsubtle; Shark is an unabashedly terrible show made watchable by James Woods; I think I think The Nine will become less interesting the further in time the characters move away from the opening bank heist.) And I don't think I'm the only one.

Despite this critical acclaim, the show has struggled for ratings out of the block, so TMQ says "save FNL":

Here are the good aspects of "Friday Night Lights." First, brilliant cinematography. Many television shows claim to offer theatrical-quality film values; "Friday Night Lights" actually does. NBC has spent a ton of money on "Friday Night Lights," a reported $2.6 million per episode -- perhaps too much for the long-term survival of the series. In Hollywood, production money often disappears into Ferraris for the director and presidential suites for the cast; "Friday Night Lights" producers are getting their money's worth onto the screen. The episodes have many outdoor scenes, which are more expensive than studio-filmed scenes; lots of crowd scenes; lots of gritty depictions of school corridors, parking lots, restaurants, gas stations and other standbys of daily life. (The greater the number of scenes, the more expensive an hour of television is to produce; many contemporary TV dramas have too many scene shifts, but that's a separate issue.) Next, the acting is first rate. Third, the situations and characters presented are as close to real life as television can come. Yes, the cast is better looking than any representative sample of actual people, and 25-year-olds play 17-year-olds. But there's no over-glamorized action, no preposterous subplots. Surely "Friday Night Lights" would have stood a better ratings chance had the show been some "Gilmore Girls"-esque teen inanity [Pooh: Seriously Greg, Gilmore Girls is your best shot at 'teen inanity?' Afraid to take a shot at The OC because it's on Fox? Tsk tsk]. Instead "Friday Night Lights" challenges viewers with material that isn't flashy or pumped up.
Now to the not-so-good aspects. The pilot episode not only was a total downer -- it ended with the character you thought would be the series focus being paralyzed for life -- but gave viewers the impression the show held small-town life and prep football in disdain. The pilot was heavy on subliminals suggesting the producers thought the sort of people who play or care about high school football are rubes or have warped values. That view might be defensible as an artistic choice, but my informal survey of friends who love football culture and who watched the pilot was unanimous on this point: Everyone one of them said that if "Friday Night Lights" was going to be about bashing football, they weren't going to watch. It turns out the show does not think small-town America or people who care about high school sports are weird; subsequent episodes have been sympathetic to the characters and to the town depicted. But as the saying goes, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Having the pilot be depressing, then end with a character paralyzed and everyone sobbing, was the sort of touch effete Manhattan critics love, but viewers don't -- who wants to watch more of that? The "Friday Night Lights" pilot was a disaster in terms of stating the show's case for its audience. This show would have been better served to start with the second episode, whose concluding image -- the coach and his petrified backup quarterback standing alone on the field of an empty stadium late at night with all the game lights on -- was haunting.

Okay, so Easterbrook can't help being a populist anti-snob, no shock there. I'm not an effete Manhattan critic, and I loved those aspects of the pilot, features not bugs as they say. However, I think he's quite probably right from a viewership standpoint - the reason that all sports movies are the same is that the 'scrappy underdog making good in the big game' thing resonates. Even if you know it's coming.

And FNL turns that paradigm on its head a little - there have been legit "chill scenes" in every episode thus far (the hail mary in the pilot, the one-on-one under the lights and "eyes wide open" scenes in episode two, and the conclusion to the 'standard training montage' in last week's episode). But the show never ends on these high points, as if to say, after the game ends their is still life to live. Last week's was a particular gutshot sort of moment - bringing in the hired gun QB right after the team building solidarity of the previous day's midnight practice. Perhaps appreciating these reversals do make me a Manhattan elite, but whatever.

In any event, watch the show, it's worth your while to get caught up.

Update: Easterbrook can't help himself from being a tool in some aspects - see Yglesias, who disses so I don't have to...

"The Departed"

2006-10-23T10:24:00.000-08:00

Finally saw "The Departed" this weekend, and while it was eminently watchable, and certainly worth my $9.25 (!), it didn't quite match the hype. I'm underwhelmed in large part because there was nothing new here. It's a nice genre piece, but I've seen it all before (though I actually haven't seen "Infernal Affairs" the Hong Kong film which this is a remake of).

I suppose as a whole, "The Departed" is a superior film to "Gangs of New York," but "Gangs" was more interesting because of my unfamiliarity with the milieu. Performance-wise, Damon, Di Caprio, Baldwin and especially Wahlberg were great, and I don't think Nicholson was as "big" as everyone has been saying (there was one Lecterish moment, but that was largely it for the indulgent scenery-chewing.)

I endorse wholeheartedly the criticism of the inanity of the film's final shot. The phrase "on the nose" comes to mind.

Perhaps I'd be more positive if the tautest portion of the film hadn't been spolied by the fact that not one but several idiots brought their toddlers to a Marty Freakin Scorecese movie. Are you high? So the rightly lauded scene consisting of Damon and Di Caprio silently listening to each other being silent over a phone connection was broken up with ga-ga-ing, and perhaps a goo-goo or two. Spolis the tension somewhat...Plus one of the kids couldn't sit still, and was wearing those shoes with the lights in the heels, so it looked like there were cop cars actually sitting in the front of the theatre with the lights on.

Anyway, if you can stand violence and profanity, see it. Thoroughly professional, though not quite transcendant. B+

:(

2006-10-23T10:20:00.000-08:00

(Scene 8:15 AM - Anchorage, AK. Location - my driveway)

Pooh: Ohmigosh what is that white stuff on top of my car???

(Cue sinister music)

Pooh: It's, it's, it's Termination Dust

(Jangling strings, ala "Psycho")

Well, hey, only about 5-8 months until I see green grass again. Who am I kidding, like I'm allowed to go outside during the work week anymore anyway...

Que?

2006-10-19T19:30:00.000-08:00

YADIER MOLINA?????

(or if you live in NYC, Yadier 'pinche cabron' Molina)

((Of course while I was typing this, the Mets have 2 on none out...))

(((Cliff Floyd needs to swing harder)))

((((Why is Paul Lo Duca's theme music "Boogie Shoes" not confidence inspiring))))

(((((UHM, swing the bat, Carlos...)))))

Saturday! Bonderman! Carpenter! It's the World Series on Fox!!!

... Heh, been there myself, Met Fan (as some have in fact witnessed)

Missed...

2006-10-15T15:54:00.000-08:00

Amidst the hullaballoo of, well, nothing, there was no hullaballoo, I missed the One year anniversary of this here blog (it was roughhly Tuesday). Happy belated B-day, WAP...

Belated Bookblogging: "The Good Fight"

2006-10-15T15:34:00.000-08:00

Apolgies for the age of some of the links here, I wrote the bulk of this almost two months ago. FWIW, I'm up to 38 for the year, so I think I can still make my 50 in 52 plan.

In reading "The Good Fight," and then thinking about why it left me feeling more than a bit high and dry, I recently came across a series of questions. Questions which author Peter Beinart should be able to answer in the course of developing his vision of "liberal internationalism." But in the end, he probably can't, at least not within that framework, because for all the high-minded rhetoric and historical analogy at his disposal, there's no there there when we drill down from a philosophy to what polcies to follow. First, the questions

A common query:

So here’s a question: What happens if the war had been executed competantly? Let’s assume this wasn’t Donald “Special Forces Solve Everything” Rumsfield, but a real military leader like Eisenhower or MacArthur and we’d gone in the right way. Let’s assume for one imaginary moment that we played it smart, maintained stability in the region, and installed a pro-Western Democracy on par with Jordan or Turkey. Would you approve of the war then?

Callimachus (quoting Abe Lincoln):

Must I shoot a simple-minded soldier boy who deserts, while I must not touch a hair of a wily agitator who induces him to desert ? This is none the less injurious when effected by getting a father, or brother, or friend, into a public meeting, and there working upon his feelings till he is persuaded to write the soldier boy that he is fighting in a bad cause, for a wicked Administration of a contemptible Government, too weak to arrest and punish him if he shall desert. I think that in such a case to silence the agitator and save the boy is not only constitutional, but withal a great mercy.

M. Takhallus:

Sixty five years ago we fought a war with Japan following their attack on Pearl Harbor. Within a matter of a few months we were burning down Japanese cities. The Japanese of that era favored wood construction and we dropped incendiary bombs. Later, when the technology became available, we dropped atomic bombs. You can argue one way or the other whether there were significant, legitimate military targets in each and every case, but let's take it as granted that there were. Nevertheless, incendiaries in packed cities full of wood houses, I think we knew what would result. I think we knew the firestorms might suck the oxygen from the lungs of children as well as adults, women as well as men, opponents and supporters of the regime alike. Fair enough so far? Question: were we right or wrong to do it?

(See also here for a thoughtful follow-up)

Admittedly, these are tough questions, but a serious, 'important' tract on a "new approach" to U.S. foreign policy should provide some guidance as to how that approach would handle difficult questions...if the problem was easy there wouldn't be such strenous disagreement now would there.

And for all the good work Beinart does leading into his prescriptions, this is where he fails. Much like Andrew Sullivan, Beinart talks a good game about lessons learned, and hubris, and multilateralism. But these 'epiphanies' don't mean much if they amount to calling for "more of the same, just better."

That said, there is much to recommend here. I don't have the historical chops to dissect Beinart's discussion of post-WWII liberal foregin policy or his chapter on the rise of the violent strain of salafist Islam which seems to be the motivating ideology of Al Qaeda ("The Looming Tower" is on the book pile, and hopefully it will tell me more ), but these historical chapters are a useful primer. Further, Beinart's demolition of the errors of the Bush administration carries the tone most easily recognizable as that of a scorned lover.

In particular, I think Beinart is correct on the dangers of overly moralistic absolutism (I think the major point of contention among the posters at my other place [ed: nice catch, 'Pick] is our individual tolerance for ugly outcomes. Or, more harshly, the extent to which we believe ends can justify means.) It may came down to us having to do some nasty things that in a better world, we'd prefer not to, but a demand for purity uber alles strikes me as having the practical effect of demanding we do nothing, ever.

This is not to say that we should no longer strive for morality and ethical behavior, to the contrary. Beinart is explicit in his view that an important aspect in this conflict is the degree to which we remain true to our ideals, as well as the degree to which we are seen to remain faithful.

Which is nice, but there is a not-so-subtle irony of a book which purports to fill the void of concrete vision in liberal circles, but gives us not much more than the very platitudes sought to be replaced.

Beinart could have saved us all a lot of time by simply saying "I was very wrong. I'm sorry that I was an ass. Everything is a mess, and I have no idea what to do now. Send me a check."

Eek!

2006-10-12T16:33:00.000-08:00

As some (one) of you may have surmised, the bosses have found my little cubby-hole. Where I fear I shall stay until about Thanksgiving at this rate...

Day 4: The Sickness

2006-10-05T20:20:00.000-08:00

Should I be worried? The scene, 5:30ish on a standard Thursday afternoon. I'm just packing up to go home...the phone rings. It's a partner asking me if I'm available for an emergency project. (This being my first week, there is only one acceptable answer here, really.)

What does it say about me that I was elated by this turn of events?

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Pooh's Views of Early Fall TV: The Good

2006-10-05T08:18:00.000-08:00

So far the new shows I've decided to watch have been a bit underwhelming We've seen the debuts of several new shows, and I've taken a gander at several of them: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip; Smith; Shark; Six Degrees and SHeroes. By and large, meh. Today I'll talk about the ones which I have liked so far, later, I'll get into the bad and the unoriginal.

1. "Heroes" - okay, so they are so obviously going for the X-Men storyline to appeal to the immense fanboi base. So what? I'm something of a fanboi myself, so it works for me. Plus, they've made several good choices - only one of the players introduced thus far has the Supermannish whiny-guy thing going, and they have made some very interesting choices not just for powers but for who has them. I particularly liked the inclusion of the Japanese salaryman, as well as the flying brothers.

Additionally, they are aiming more for Darknight era Batman, rather than Adam West. I'll take dark and mysterious over campy pretty much any day. One downside is I'm not convinced that either female lead is up to carrying the show. Well, I'm convinced that Ali Larter isn't, and I don't recognize the girl playing the cheerleader, so I'm, at best, skeptical. A further negative is that they appear to have picked the Most Annoying. Voice. Ever. to do the "previously on 'Heroes'" bit: B+

(However, Kung Fu Monkey has a good point about the dialogue, which is at times...pretentiously portentious:

he first episode was laden with the particular disease of non-genre guys writing genre: "Behoooold. I bring you superheroes WITHOUT CAPES! What brave new world of fiction is this? And look, there's even a plotline using a series of pictures as a narrative device. They are called, in the underground, 'co-mic book-es.'"

Indeed.)

2. "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" - Profoundly disappointing pilot episode. Not saying it was bad, but compare it to the pilot for "West Wing." Maybe for those who never watched "Sports Night", the show might seem original, but I feel like Sorkin is covering old ground with 30 minutes more per week to use. Matt Perry and Brad Whitford seem to have a nice reparte, but I'm concerned that they are not distinct enough from each other either in appearance or personna. I could be proven wrong, but who wants to watch "Smart and Smarter?" I did enjoy the opening teaser (and especially enjoyed the dig at the Media for all reporting the "Network" aspect of it, as if it was an original observation.)

Lest I seem too negative, I thought the second and third episodes were better - a lot will ride on Sarah Paulson, who didn't have much to do in the pilot, but has certainly been growing on me. She'll always be compared to Allison Janney's C.J. Cregg. High bar there. Additionally, I don't feel like we 'know' any of the characters besides Matt & Danny so far - what is D.L. Hughley supposed to be doing? (And after ignoring the 15-year old looking groupie in almost perfunctory fashion, what odds on their being a shocking twist regarding alternate sexuality?) Is Nate Corddry (of "Daily Show" moderate fame) playing Topher Grace playing Jimmy Fallon? Will Danny Concannon, er Tim Busfield ever stop inducing "hey it's C.J.'s hubby! What the hell happened to his beard?" reactions. I know, I know, it's early, but my expectations were pegged insanely high.

But despite all my complaints, it's Aaron freaking Sorkin writing the dialogue, and Matt Perry and Brad Whitford can still in fact bring it: B

(Slate disagrees with my last point, writing the show off as an excercise in "I'm Aaron Sorkin_bitch!, and you're not")

3. "Friday Night Lights" - There was not a single original element in the pilot episode. Isn’t there a rule against a director of a film (Peter Berg) turning around and directing a TV show of the same title? It’s supposed to work the other way, right? (See Miami Vice, Firefly/Serenity, etc…) To my recollection, Altman had nothing to do with MASH the series, for an example of a movie being made into a show.

So, let's see, take the basic plot line of "Varsity Blues," remove the MTV-related goofiness. Mix in the hyperkinetic, shaky camera work from "The Shield," and in the soundtrack from "Any Given Sunday" because it works well for football. Add insanely violent football action, plus the Standard Miracle Comeback ("SMC"). (Simmons has a point:

I can't stomach another climactic game scene in which the home team recovers an onside kick, runs the next play for 20 yards, then, on the final play, the QB throws a 50-yard pass that his WR catches on the opposing 30 and takes off for the winning TD. Not even the CFL has 140-yard football fields. Come on. This isn't rocket science.

I know, didn't occur to me at the time either, but yeah.)

All that said, it was still amazingly well done for network TV, and fully watchable. Even knowing what was going to happen the SMC still had chill potential. Even if the throw should have gone 30 yards out the back of the endzone unless Deer-in-headlights backup QB guy took at 23-step drop before throwing...The trash-talking rapper/preacher running back was surprisingly effective as well - in his prayer following the game, his cadence reminded me uncannily of that of my former college roomie who's now a pastor.

The challenge now is to make the show interesting and believable across a whole season. How many SMC's can we really believe in? And will the show be able to maintain the almost painful earnestness, or will it be reduced to what Tall Guy predicted: "The OC" in pads? B-

I am most intrigued by "The Nine" - after the disappointing premiere of "Lost" (by adding more and more stuff to the island, they are in danger of neutering the essential "Lost"-ness of the whole deserted island thing. More on this one next week, I promise). The pilot teased, and now we really want to know "What happened inside the bank?" Unfortunately, I'm guessing from the previews of the second episode that it is going to be told, in a piecemeal, flashback manner. The premise is "Lost" inverted. And I'm not sure that's a good thing - the backstories make the island happening more interesting, I'm not sure how much I'll care about What Happened After to the Nine until I know What Happened Before. Of course, I could be wrong, and it could be pure marketing genius, as the show will demand repeated viewings once the whole thing plays out, spurring DVD sales, etc...but I'll stay with it for a time, at least. Grade: Incomplete

Day 3: Arrived

2006-10-04T15:40:00.000-08:00

2 independant and perhaps inconsistent thoughts today.

1. I still feel an awful lot like I'm playing dress-up, or going to a halloween party as a Real Lawyer.

2. I'm looking out my window(!) to see the maintenance folks putting up the sign on my reserved parking space(!!). I'm easily purchased, I fear.

Bigamy (Sports Edition)

2006-10-04T11:22:00.000-08:00

Let's Go Twins! And by "let's go," I mean "goddamnit, you led the AL in hitting, how about, you know, hitting. Looking at you Baby Jesus Mauer." Of course, I'm more sanguine than these guys or that guy (heh,

BTW)

Or especially her.

Update: No sooner had I composed this bad boy then Cuddy and Morn-ofertherseries went back to back.

Update the second Ouch. No sooner had I updated than a "failed to turn the DP" led into Torii deciding that coming back from 1-0 down in the series is just too easy. That was almost Bostonian the way that there developed, sorry TwinKids for the jink...

Quick Baseball Predictions

2006-10-03T09:08:00.000-08:00

Twins over A's in 5: Twins can take 1 of 3 when Johan isn't pitching.

Yankees over Tigers in 3: Young team, in a tailspin, gets hypnotized by the 45 minute 7th inning stretch at the stadium (which includes everything short of Disney on Ice, these days...)

Padres over Cardinals in 4: La Russa probably pinch runs for Pujols, which ends up costing them the deciding game. If there's a baseball equivalent of the basketball "Look! I'm coaching!" timeout, it's Tony La Russa doing pretty much anything. This is still a really good book, though.

Mets over Dodgers in 4, before the lack of Pedro derails them. (It's almost as if one could have predicted that Pedro would be very good for a year or two after he left the Sawx, and then his arm would fall off. Almost.)

Let's Go Twins

Day 2

2006-10-03T08:57:00.000-08:00

It was a dark and stormy morning...

And they haven't fired me just yet. Which is nice. As can be told from the lack of updates after 10 am yesterday, the bosses found me (depending on who's here and not in trial, I have between 7 and 12 on any given day...not to mention the IT people, accounting, who really owns my ass, and of course my secretary who could do my job twice as well for half as much...or so she tells me. Not that I disagree_{to her face}...)

To answer some questions from yesterday - yes, I got the spiffy plant. I don't have to look busy, I am busy. State of mind and all that. And Sam, .2 hours, not that I have a timer or anything...

First Day...

2006-10-02T08:34:00.000-08:00

Of the rest of my life! [/melodrama]

Wish me luck...

Update: Been here for 44 whole minutes and no partner has dropped impossible tasks on my desk. Yet. Piece of cake, right?

(What, me nervous?)

Where I Be

2006-09-18T18:50:00.000-08:00

So, it may not have been noticed, but I've been...lax in posting recently. Mostly that's because I've been lax about pretty much everything. You see, I'm on extended vacation, my clerking job having ended around Labor Day and my new, corporate-whore, employment not beginning til October. So aside from my trip to the homeland of Monday Night Football Free Beer (Sally's in Dinkytown Minneapolis. Try it...) I've been doing a whole lot of nothing. And in the words of Peter Gibbons, it's everything I thought it could be.

Though we'll be back with our regularly scheduled book-blogging, plus some commentary on the nascent fourth season of The Wire, this fall's crop of new shows (Studio 60 and Heroes are the two I find most intrigueing), and well whatever else I feel like.

Five

2006-09-11T09:32:00.000-08:00

I don't want to get involved with all the hullaballoo today. I'm weary just from reading people's "perspectives." But (via Andrew Sullivan), I wanted to share my one salient 'positve' memmory from the day:

Since this, routine performances of our anthem before sporting events have seemed vaguely obscene to me.

There's Basketball Going On?

2006-09-01T16:14:00.000-08:00

As demanded (in comments) by an angry Floridian (cue Jessop: is there another kind?), I am required to comment on the "embarassment" of USA Basketball losing to Greece. I scare quote "embarassment" because I don't think it is - we took a good team of most of our best players, who played hard and decently well together. We played a below-average (bad defense, 9-28 from 3pt, 20-34 from the line), but not abysmal game. We got beat. It happens, the 'better team' sometimes loses. Alternatively, sometimes, the better players don't make a better team, especially when you take into account:

[t]he fact of the matter is that the Greeks play with a continuity and intelligence that takes literally years for a team to develop, and that they had better fundamentals. And it was just proven, beyond any doubt, that you can’t put an all-star team together and make up for that difference, no matter how talented those all-stars are, in three or four weeks. You just can’t.

As great as the '92 Dream Team was, I'm glad that we can't just expect to roll over everyone anymore, it was like Gonzaga winning the West Coast Conference. Who cares? Call me when you show something at the next level.

And now we have the chance at redemption in two years, which is a far more satisfying theme than simply meeting the expectations of dominance. Am I happy we lost? Not really, but it's not embarassing or the end of basketball as we know it. Competition is good - now we have to actually compete. I say bring it on.

Alternatively, try this for a slightly scadenfreuden-laden take. (Warning, soccer reference at yonder link...)

Anger Management

2006-08-31T16:06:00.000-08:00

Not my best day on that front...if only I had more outlets...

I miss frivolity. Sadly, the Red Sox suck (ANGER RISING), I haven't finished a book in a while (RISING), haven't been to the movies recently (you get the idea). Hopefully the three day weekend will help me recover Teh Funny...

Sad Anniversary

2006-08-30T15:38:00.000-08:00

One year ago today Steph's dog Clemmie died. Though Tyge is a wonderful pooch and we love him dearly (being a main instigator for Teh Wedding) Clemmie is sorely missed

North Starr

2006-08-30T13:34:00.000-08:00

Ken Starr, and all the panty-sniffing, moral scolding that comes with him, has arrived in the the great north to inform us that drugs are bad, m'kay:

Former Whitewater special counsel Kenneth Starr petitioned the U.S. Supreme Court to take up Alaska's "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" case, a dispute involving a high school student, a banner and a tough school policy.

I hear what you're saying. "Bong Hits 4 Jesus? I'd drink to that!" But for the uninformed, a little background:

As the Olympic torch relay passed by Juneau-Douglas High School in 2002, then-high school senior Joseph Fredrick was looking to catch the attention of television cameras converging on the event.
So he held up a banner that read "Bong Hits 4 Jesus."

Fredrick's message also caught the eye of the high school principal, and it earned him a 10-day suspension. School District officials said his banner violated the school's anti-drug policies.

Thought-crime, anyone?

Fredrick, then 18, sued the school but lost in federal District Court.

On Friday, a three-member panel of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals overturned the lower court order and said school officials violated Fredrick's free-speech rights. . . Superintendent Peggy Cowan said the school had to respond to the banner or risk sending a message that the school condoned illegal drug use.

On Jan. 24, 2002, the day of the torch relay, Fredrick was standing across the street from the school with other students who'd been let out of class for the event. Then-principal Deb Morse spotted his sign, crossed the street and told him to take it down. When he asked her about his freedom of speech, she said the message violated school policy against material that advertises or promotes the use of illegal drugs.

Morse grabbed the banner from him, crumpled it up and suspended him, according to the lawsuit. . .[T]he 9th Circuit Court said that even if the banner could be construed as a positive message about marijuana use, the question came down to whether a school may punish or censor a student's speech because it promotes a social message contrary to one the school favors.
"The answer under controlling, long-existing precedent is plainly 'No,'?" Judge Andrew Kleinfeld wrote in an 18-page opinion.

Enter Starr, who apparently has nothing better to do than to make sure that Juneau teens aren't encouraged to toast Jesus with a toke. I guess this means that nothing untoward has happened in our nation's capital in the last six years.

Anyway, not only is this extremely silly, the lawsuit itself is doing more to "promote" the, er, religious use of cannabis than anything Fredrick did:

If the Juneau School Board, in its infinite stubbornness, is so worried that the message waved on a banner four years ago at a nonschool event will lead high school kids down the path to illegal drug use, why does it insist on giving the message such tremendous exposure?

Google "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" and you'll get 14,100 hits. Included among them is proof positive that the message has become part of the vernacular: It has its own Wikipedia entry.

(And so it does.)

And forgive me for my cynicism, but I wonder how much of Starr's underlying reason for involving himself is the "Bong Hits" part and how much is the "4 Jesus" bit? (Further, I wonder how much of the original principal's, [about whom I know nothing aside from this case] hissy-fit about the sign was the drugs, and how much was Jesus on drugs...)

Cross-posted at Kakistocracy