Friday, July 21, 2006

I Speel Goot

So dashing off a post on the way to the airport leads to funny things. Like inventing words. Pilgrimamge? WTF? It also leads to the dreaded Bad Travel Karma. The shortest route from Anchorage to Seattle is, at least according to Alaska Airlines, via Fairbanks.

If that doesn't seem like it makes that much sense, let me tell you

It doesn't. (For the truly geographically challenged, Seattle is south-east of that green area some of us like to describe alternatively as Canadia, Hockeyland, Eh? or simply the 51st state.)

But that only works if you sit in the wonderful Fairbanks 'International' (too where, exactly?) Airport, which was built in approximate 1895, and hasn't changed any of the air filters since that time, as my sinuses can attest.

At that point, you may witness what I like to call The Dumbest Thing ever - while waiting on the jetway just outside the plane, (since the gate agent wants us to get on the plane and out of her hair as much as we do, she's not bothering with that boarding by rows thing. If you need extra time or are travelling with small children, tough shit) a guy starts cutting in line. On the jetway. Repeatedly. (Later, I realise this sitting directly behind me when I am startled to discover his face leaning over my shoulder to watch my DVD player along with me.)

TDE is then nearly repeated when another, not obviously related (though possibly equally drunk) gentlemen attemps to jump the strangely mamoth cab queue in Seattle. After strangling him with my headphones*, throwing the body in the trunk and telling the cabbie "Downtown, and step on it!" I just miss my anticipated 5:30 arrival time by checking in at 11:30.

Thankfully, my good mood was restored as they replayed Slappy von Chokenstein airmailing a throw home approximately 15 and 20 times on the late Sportscenter. It's Zen-like, the ability of comical Yankees plays to calm me.

So, off to Safeco. Ridiculous the amount of Sawx gear in downtown Seattle today. The Nation, on the march. As my only pregame comment, I note that it's a bad sign when your starting pitcher is wearing a Royals cap in the media shot.

Yikes. I mean "GO, KYLE SNYDER!"

* This may or may not have actually occurred. As anyone who has travelled with a head cold will tell you, reality was a bit more of a fluid concept than usual.


simon poulsen said...

With the wonders of W's economic policies taking their toll on your national coffers, we in hockey-land feel confident that the U.S. will soon be the 11th province of Canuckistan. Nah, too much debt to assume, maybe we'll get a goldfish instead.

Icepick said...

This may or may not have actually occurred.

Assume it occurred. You'll feel better. Especially if you don't actually get arrested! Remember, it's only a crime if you get caught....

cakreiz said...

Brrr... you're a long way from Pittsburgh, dude.

Mr Furious said...

Sorry the Sox didn't cooperate...I hate that.