Thursday, December 21, 2006



In the glory days of my wit, I used to write things like this:
Living down here in South Florida I have the luxury or misfortune (however you want to phrase it) of watching Toine play for the Heat and after all these years I have been finally able to figure out why Toine shoots the way he does. For just the slightest of movements Toine loses his balance and is forced to shoot tippy-toe jumpers or last minute heaves at the basket while in the lane. The answer? His giant, oddly shaped head of course. If you are trying to balance a flowerpot on your head and you suddenly move without thinking what will happen to the flowerpot? Same situation here. Toine moves so fast that he forgets his head has to catch up with the rest of his body causing an imbalance of weight forcing him to of course shoot all out of balance. It makes perfect sense to me now.
Then there is the NBA's bottom ten. Unsurprisingly, the Brians Madsen and Scalabrine feature prominently. And finally, from their pre-AI trade musings on what would happen to each team should they acquire Iverson:
Milwaukee Bucks - Iverson begins to pout about a diminished role playing next to Michael Redd and is joined in his chorus by sullen second year center Andrew Bogut. The two get caught in a feedback loop which scorches the earth, converting the entiree [sic] state of Wisconsin into one giant nacho.
Maybe someday soon I'll watch a movie or read a book or talk about something not relating to sports...


Icepick said...

I need to check later and see if they've done a Top Ten Players to Recieve in a Trade. Number One has to be Penny Hardaway. I can't tell you how excited my friends and I were when the Magic did soemthing right and picked up him up in a trade last year. Man, are the Knicks awefully run.

Icepick said...

No, that wasn't sarcasm, and you know why that comment was sincere.