M-A-R-S. MARS, b*****s!

And I'm out til sometime Monday or Tuesday.

Strange times wherer by missing my first flight (due to approx 1.5 hours in 'security' line, while flights leaving after mine were waved through with VIP, 2 bottles of Dom, minimum, stylings) I arrive at my final destination about 45 minutes later and with one fewer connection. If I can only figure out a way to get comped for some bevvies or a first class upgrade.

Anyway, a few requests, please, please no World Cup scores or texts re:Saturday's games. Going to do my darnedest to not know whether Ingerland gets whomped by Brazil or France in the semis. (Looking at no one in particular...)

Actually, that's my only request. Back in a few.

Cup Quarter Finals Thoughts

This, as they say, is the sharp end. A fine mix of teams, I might add, with only the Ukranians looking out of their depth. (And perhaps the English - though they certainly can play better than they have. Worth noting that they looked their best against the one team, Sweden, that showed any ambition of their own.)

So, 8 games left. Interestingly, there is also one team from each group left, as the two group winners who lost, lost to the corresponding second place teams.

Argentina - Germany

If we're lucky, this could be one of Those Games like Argentina-Holland or Brazil-Denmark in '98. I foresee Saviola, Rodriguez and especially Riquelme giving Metzelder fits in the center of Germany's defense, and am not sure that Mertesacker is mobile enough to track Crespo. At the same time, Ballack and Lahm will surely cause problems (especially Lahm, as right back seems a problem for the Argentines as Scaloni and Coloccini). And as good as Ayala and Heinze are, Klose and Podolski are just phenomenal right now.

I have literally no idea what happens here, whether the Argies suffer any lingering fatigue from playing 98 hard minutes (and 22 at a stroll after Rodriguez reduced the Mexicans to a limp) on Saturday; whether Germany rises or wilts under to national expectations against the toughest team they've encountered by far.

All I do know is that I'll have just arrived at an airport, and my first move will not be to claim luggage or to secure my rental car, but to find a bar showing this game (hoping against hope it's the Beeb feed and not LemonCello.

Feet to the fire, 3-2 Argentina, perhaps 4-2 with a late clincher on a Messi/Tevez breakaway.

Italy - Ukraine

ZZZZZZZ...oh, penalty, 1-0 to the Italy. I think Cannavaro knows Schevchenko too well for the latter to get much joy unless Kalichenko plays like he did against Saudi Arabia (and it was frickin Saudi Arabia, not exactly mid-70's Holland by any stretch.) Though who will play alongside if Nesta can't go and Materazzi suspended is a cuase for concern. If Italy wanted to, they could probably win this game about 3-1, but coming out and using their technical dominance isn't their style.

England - Portugal

What does Sven do here? Neville obviously comes back in at right back (whether he should is another question, but if we know anything about Erickson, it's that, when fit, his 'name' players will always play. The 5 man midfield with Cole and Beckham on the wings worries me, as Joe Cole likes to wander inside, and leaving Ashley Cole to cope with Figo and Miguel (as good at right back as Lahm has been at left for Germany) is Bad Idea Jeans. Similarly, Nuno Valente could repeatedly torch Beckham for sheer pace, leaving Neville to deal with him and either Ronaldo or Simao (pending C.R.'s health.) Of course if Gerard comes to play and Lampard starts hitting what he shoots at, all that won't matter much as I don't think that Portugal's central midfield can cope with Deco and Costinha out. Tough to say what I'd do, but would be strongly tempted to bring on Lennon, move Beckham infield and have Lampard play on the left, where he might be slightly more attentive to defense than Joe Cole. Of course, Cole has been their best midfielder by a piece over the 4 games...ugh.

Having said all that, in the end, I don't think Portugal have enough creativity without Deco and possibly Ronaldo. Pauleta will get nothing from Terry and Rio, Rooney scores a pair and England win 2-0.

France - Brazil

Another fantastic matchup, with revitalised France against pedestrian (by comparison to expectations, at least) Brazil. If Domenech goes 4-4-2 and brings Trezeguet in for Malouda, France wins. Otherwise, they play well, but never have enough men forward to make Brazil defend, and get overrun by Ze Roberto, Roberto Carlos and Cafu (and perhaps Juan and Lucio...and, given that it's Brazil, Dida as well.) Also key will be the Zidane-Ze Roberto and Viera-Ronaldinho matchups. $5 says Emerson (or Gilberto Silva, if he plays) almost literally kicks the crap out of Ribery for the first 10 minutes.

The ride has been fun, but I think even ZiZou suspects that the clincher against Spain was his encore. Hopefully he'll go out playing well in this defeat. Brazil 3-1.

While I've Been Away Watching Too Much Soccer

So, during the extended dance mix of World Cup '06, it appears one or two things have popped off in the opposable-thumb using world. Some may be worthy of fuller blogging, some may not, but...

• The Sawx have won 11 straight. During the streak Papi has 3 walkoff's. Or one more than the number of goals the U.S. team scoredacquired during that same period. Pedro got cheered, got shelled, got gone. Thanks for the memories Petey. If we see you in October, there's more where that came from, buddy.
• The NBA had it's Draft. FreeDarko, per usual, killed it.
• Speaking of FD, Kaiser and friends have gone similarly all grad-studenty on the Minnesota Twins - it's Tuesday's With Torii.
• For the last sports related tidbit, Fletch is not best pleased (or especially impressed) with the Weekly Standard's anti-soccer missive, which truth be told, sucks enormously - consider the central conceit:

  Soccer is the perfect game for the post-modern world. It's the quintessential expression of the nihilism that prevails in many cultures, which doubtlessly accounts for its wild popularity in Europe. Soccer is truly Seinfeldesque, a game about nothing, sport as sensation.

  More cringe-worthy than an Italian 'earning' a penalty.
• Ezra Klein says not nice things about The West Wing (and here). It hurts because it's a little true.
• And finally in unquestionably good news, SCOTUS reversed then Judge Roberts' ruling in Hamdan v. Rumsfeld. Apparently, laws matter again. Not only laws, but legal and legislative process matter as well:

  nothing in Hamdan means that the President is constitutionally forbidden from doing what he wants to do. What the Court has done, rather is use the democratic process as a lever to discipline and constrain the President's possible overreaching. Given this Administration's history, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

  In other words, as I, among others have said all along, if the administration thinks it is too constrained by the Law, as written, go through the proper process and get it changed. All that said, though, at 177 pages of opinion, the decision does raise many of the concerns about the inaccessability of Court pronouncement voiced by Publius (and here). I'm sure to have more to say about this later, but right now, all I can say is 'score one for law and democracy'.

Absurdity, FIFA Style

In case anyone was wondering what I was talking about when I said FIFA is all screwed up, how bout this for an absurd, though telling, example:

The long arm of [FIFA President Sepp] Blatter even reached into the stands. A thousand Dutch fans showed up for a game against Ivory Coast in bright-orange dungarees that were adorned with lion's tails (the lion is the national symbol of Holland) and the logo of a Dutch brewery. (Picture Bert Lahr's cowardly lion going hunting.) FIFA, which is receiving millions from Anheuser-Busch to make Budweiser the official beer of the World Cup, told the fans that if they wanted to enter the stadium, their trousers would be confiscated.

This story is, in a nutshell, illustrative of 2 of the 3 major complaints people have with FIFA. There's the obvious money grubbing (read up on former president Joao Havelange and you'll see graft to rival anything perpetrated by a tin-pot strongman, K Street politician or IOC flunky) as well as the iron-heeled dictatorialism.

The 3rd complaint, that the brain wizards have no feel for football itself has been well and truly demonstrated by the refereeing in this otherwise spectacular Cup. Other instances were requiring mid-day start times in the '94 Cup. In Dallas. In July. Of course this ties in with the power of the almighty Swiss Franc, but soccer is a fall, winter and spring game throughout the rest of the world for a good reason - you can't play 90 minutes straight at high tempo when it's hot. But screw the players, and the fans, their are sponsors to be appeased, money to be made and bureaucratic fiefdoms to defend and expand.

As to the original subject of this post, at least there was a happy ending:

"I watched the game in my [under]pants," one supporter said. "Fortunately I had quite a long T-shirt."

Brain Teaserly Fun

Apparently, this is a logic test used in interviews in JapanChina(?), the rules are simple:

Everybody has to cross the river. Only 2 people on the raft at a time. The father cannot stay with any of the daughters without their mother's presence. The mother cannot stay with any of the sons without their father's presence. The thief (striped shirt) cannot stay with any family member if the Policeman is not there. Only the Father, Mother and the Policeman know how to operate the raft.

To start, click on the big blue circle on the right.
To move the people, click on them.
To move the raft, click on the pole on the opposite side of the river.

It took me about 10 minutes to figure out, though I thinl you get 30. Enjoy!

Not Bad

6 of 8, and I'll give myself half credit for calling 0-0 and Penalties in the Swiss-Ukraine napgame. Plus, Oz wuz robbed vs. the I-T's. (Though I missed the enormous obviousness of it given that Hiddink was the Australian coach, and he rather did the same thing to Italy in 2002 - though they are still a diving bunch o' .....NM.

As for Spain - France: 2nd best game of the round, rather obviously. The five minutes after France equalised and before halftime belong in a time capsule. France finally played up to their abilities - Ribery was fantastic all night. He has a little of the street-fighter in him to go along with his speed and skill. Plus he looks about as badass as a Frenchman can look (the scars are apparently from a car accident when he was an infant.) Spain did not play badly at all, but they lacked a certain edge after they gave up a goal. Rather predictably, I might add as the nerves were palpable from everyone over 21 (Fabregas and especially Sergio Ramos are absolutely fantastic; Real Madrid needs to get some central defenders so he can play full back.)

Despite the expected bitching from Spain about the free kick which lead to the second goal (yellow card was perhaps harsh, but Puyol clearly used his arms to hold Henry back. Completely unnecessarily, I might add, as Pernia had the play covered,) the referee was fantastic as well. It's not rocket science folks. Make the calls quickly and decisively, and have a rapport with the players. To paraphrase Churchill, jaw-jaw is better than card-card.

(P.S. I forgive you. Sorta. Ok, not at all...)

World Cup Lush

It's 7:40 in the morning here...and I'm tanked. I've decided to see if my brand new Marcello Balboa Drinking Game makes his commentary any more bearable. Drink every time he says someone "does/did a good job here/there". Drink a shot every time he says it about something that really shouldn't be lauded - case in point his adulation of Grosso's hook-the-foot-swan-dive to 'beat' Australia.

And the answer? No. No it doesn't. Though he is doing his subtle part to blunt the 'English as a national language' movement - I don't think I'm the only one desperately wishing to understand Spanish due to his...stylings.

Adriano was miles offsides. Twice. First when the ball was played to Cafu, and then when it was crossed too him. That's awful, again. I can't imagine how the linesman missed it, other than sheer suckage. Occam's razor! Ghana deserves 1-1 at half time (typically, "Lemon" 'Cello (very tasty before 8, I must admit) was in raputres of the "good job" by Dida in making a save that he knew literally nothing about....)

Update: No I was not actually drinking at 7:40 am. And, no, my absence for the rest of the day was not...induced by bevvies. Let's just say that the IT guys are not my friends right now.

BTW, 3-0 Brazil is criminal on Ghana, but Balboa claimed in about the 77th minute that A) Ghana was the better side and B) that Ronaldinho isn't one of the best players in the world. Had I been drinking, that would have require killing the bottle.

Typical

Italy beaten and battered all day, and come out with a 1-0 victory on a penalty decision that I can only describe as dubious, disgraceful, dire, fortuitous, soft, phantom...or just jammy. I'm not sure that's even a word, but that call was jammy. It's pretty clear on the replay, Neil slides a good foot from Grosso, who's largely stationary. The ball rolls off to one side. Grosso looks down at Neil, who looks back. They both look at the ref. Then Grosso 'savvily' hooks his toe under Neil's prostrate form, and hurtles over. The only thing that convinced me it wasn't a well done cartoon was the lack of Grosso holding up a sign saying "Yipes!" in Italian before he started to fall. Great conversion by Totti, as well.

As for the rest of the game, Oz looked livelier, but there was always a sense that their defenders where absolutely terrified any time Italy got 3 or 4 guys forward. Even down to 10 men, Italy seemed more menacing. Or rather, Australia seemed more menaced than vice versa - score one for unfussy Italian defending, they never looked panicked. Cannavaro and in partiuclar Zambrotta went a ways towards blunting any possible Aussie attacks. The absence of Kewell and Emerton really showed as Stejovski never looked like causing any danger.

So a crap Italian squad goes through to play the ubercrap Ukranians who beat the ultimately super crappy Swiss in the Worst Game Ever. I imagine that if the Swiss continued taking penalties until the start of the Italy-Ukraine game, they might bury one or two, but I wouldn't put money on it.

My World Cup (rather swiftly) Begin to Runneth Empty. (Though I'm not quite here. Yet.)

The Less Said

About either England - Ecuador or Portugal - Netherlands, the better. The superior team won on both occassions, but that's not saying much.

In fairness, England played pretty well, actually, for the last 30 minutes after Beckham scored, and Ashley Cole had, as they say, a blinder. Hargreaves looked capable at right back. Opinion on Carrick was mixed - some loved him:

And suddenly England have an excess of holding midfielders. After the energy of Hargreaves against the Swedes, the composure of Carrick, using his superior distribution, was a feature of the Ecuador match.

Each could argue that this was a game that demonstrated his value to the cause. The Tottenham man's [Pooh: that would be Carrick] passing suggested England, finally, had observed the lessons about the importance of keeping possession.

Others? Not so much - in the Michael Davies scale of 'pantsness':

Pants ... billowy, stiff, scratchy, multi-pleated Dockers

Michael Carrick

This just didn't work at all. He looked uncomfortable on the ball, rarely moved forward, barely made a tackle all game and had absolutely no presence. Don't think we'll see him in Gelsenkirchen on Saturday -- I think we'll be going back to 4-4-2.

How do you really feel?

As for Portugal - Netherlands (aka Mighty Russian Referee[/Boris Badunov accent] destroying weak football game) was something of a chicken-egg thing - where there tons of cards because the match was violent and bad-tempered, or did the match became violent and bad-tempered because of all the cards and whistles frustrated the players? Whatever. Crap game, but as Al points out, compelling in a multi-car pileup sort of way. Good goal to win it - Maniche does have a habit of getting his money's worth from those he scores.

Al also does well to pick out Miguel as the best player on the field, absolutely dominating Robben all game, as he did in Euro 2004. As for Holland - they need to find some midfielder's. Cocu is ancient, Sneijder did nothing in 4 games and Van Bommel is just dire. He looks awful playing for Barca and not much better for his country.

And now England and Portugal meet - though Portugal are certainly without Deco and Costinha, and possibly without Ronaldo. Figo can consider himself very lucky to participate. That game is going to penalties...

Lessons (Argentina - Mexico, etc.)

Without question, Argentina-Mexico was the game of the tournament. Physical, intense, high-velocity and capped by the proverbial "goal fit to win any game" by Maxi Rodriguez. It made Joe Cole look like something of a piker for letting the ball bounce before launching into the opposite corner. Great credit for the spectacle must go to the performance of marvelously-named referee Massimo Bussacca of Switzerland.

In a game this fast and furious, he could possibly have blown his whistle every 15 seconds and handed out cards aplenty. Instead, he excercised common sense, allowed the teams to match each other tackle for tackle, and the players adjusted. Despite some criticism, that is how the game should be reffed. (Heize getting only a yellow was debatable, but I'd prefer lenience to the Survivor-like quality of Netherlands-Portugal, where it seems a player is required to be voted off the island every fifteen minutes. Argentina also had a winner in stoppage time wrongly ruled offsides, but A) the call was tight, B) also made difficult by the long distance between Messi and the Mexican defender who may have played him onside; and C) the Argentines didn't think it was good at the time either.

As to the match itself, tough to say who 'deserved' to win prior to Rodriguez's goal. Guardado, getting his first World Cup action as a 19-year old in this game was absolutely nerveless. Marquez, in addition to his goal, was phenomenal all night, and Borgetti showed that a team can in fact play with one forward and still be dangerous. Much has been made of the Mexicans pressure on Riquelme, but I didn't see it that way - he still managed to move the ball quite effectively, even if he had less time to indulge himself then he had in previous matches.

After the goal, Mexico never once looked threatening - their spirit had been crushed, as one might expect.

If I'm A FIFA Brain Wizard...

and my answer to the question "How can we make the game better" involves less than 22 players on the field, can I really be described as either a brain or possessing of wizardy? Watching Ze Germans beat the snot out of Sweden...and the game is now over 35 minutes in because Mr. Simon has a yellow card quota to reach and Lucic happened to have fouled people at the appropriate time. Well done sir.

And of course FIFA thought Mr. Larrionda did a fab job, so he's still here, fussily overseeing the rather important France-Togo matchup (Marcelo thinks "he's just not good enough. He's just not. I'm sorry, at this level youhave to be better and he's just not good enough." Which is why they pay him the big bucks. Note to self - become fluent in Spanish prior to South Africa 2010.)

And as if to prove that no mistake is too egregious to make worse, FIFA decided that Mastroeni's challenge was worth an extra two games...because the one way to ensure people don't complain about the original bad call is to make them forget it in favor of the new clanger.

Is it me, or is the refereeing in every sport just crap right now? NBA playoffs? Check. Super Bowl? Ask Seattle fans. MLB? A.J. Pierzinski stole first...

Update: Charming penalty decision. Actually, Charmin', as in soft. If Larsson was going to signal his intention of falling dramatically any earlier, the program would read "The roll of Swan Diver normally played by Razak Pimpong will be played by Henrik Larsson this evening.")

McEnroe

"You CANNOT be SERIOUS"
- Pooh to the cable company service rep

So of course, today is the day my DVR box picked to die...thankfully, I had transferred almost everything to videotapes (digital revolution, my ass...) BUT, not only am I short 1 Brazil game, but all of today's action (save for the France - Togo game which they are replaying on Classic in a few hours) SOOOO let me extend my bleg to cover the following matches:

Brazil - Japan
Ukraine - Tunisia
Spain - Saudi Arabia
Switzerland - Korea Republic

Technojoy turns swiftly to technorage.

Round 2 Matchups and Early Thoughts

"What is past is prologue"
-Shakespeare

Now it starts to get a little tasty... or we get to see a lot of 1-0 games and penalty shootouts. As good as the group stages have been (only 3 or 4 real stinkers of games out of 48) what will be remembered is what happens over the next 15 (not counting the 3rd place game...which remains the stupidest thing ever.) So on to the Sweet 16, as it were.

Germany vs. Sweden

I love the way Germany is playing right now, but Sweden is both more athletic and more composed than any team they've played thus far (understrength Ecuador was really a shadow of the team which played so stylishly in the first two games). However, without Ibrahimovic at full strength, I have a hard time seeing Sweden getting a whole lot of good chances. Ballack has yet to really impose himself on a game, and this seems like a good a place to start as any - the center of the Swedish midfield is probably their weakness. Potentially fascinating matchup on the Swedish right between Lahm and Ljunberg. Also, if the game remains close, Klinsman has the better attacking options to bring off the bench wit Neuville, and especially Odonkor seeming likely to terrify a tiring defense. In the end, just too much of Ze Germans: 2-0.

Argentina vs. Mexico

The Mexicans faded badly after their fine second half vs. Iran. Unable to score on Angola, they were played off the field by the Portuguese before the latter took their foot off the gas 30 minutes in. Meanwhile, after looking electric the first two rounds, the Argentinines were clearly in control vs. Holland without really extending themselves. It's possible that Mexico takes the lead on a counterattack early, but aside from that, I see them getting pounded, 3-1 Argentina.

England vs. Ecuador

Will the real England please stand up? And what does Ecuador really have? So much of this game depends on Erickson's boldness in his lineup choices - if he somehow finds the fortitude to move Beckham to Right Back (or perhaps even Left Out...) and starts Aaron Lennon, then we might yet see a convincing, high energy display. Of course, no way in hell SGE is so bold. 2-1 England on another Gerrard belter and a janky tap-in by Terry.

Portugal vs. Netherlands

With France-Spain, the most apetizing matchup of the round. In the end, I think that the Deco/Figo/Ronaldo trinity has too much for the ancient Cocu and other Dutchmen to really handle. Holland's best hope is that Robben goes absolutely out of his skin and wins the game on his own. Goodness knows he'll probably try and do just that. 2-1 Portugal.

Italy vs. Australia

The Aussies are streatwise enough to deal with the Italians. I'm not sure the Italians have enough fortitude to deal with the bustle of the Aussies, especially if Nesta can't play. Australia will almost certainly beat the piss out of Pirlo, Camorenese and anyone else in the Italian midfield not named Gattuso (who will get into a spat with Neil at least 4 times over the course of the game. Not that that's a bad thing, Gattuso has long been my favorite Italian - he seems to have absorbed a certain husky quality during his time playing for Rangers in Scotland.) 1-0 Oz.

Switzerland vs. Ukraine

zzzzzzzzzz. 0-0. Swiss go through on penalties.

Brazil vs. Ghana

Entertaining, but without Essien, ultimately one-sided. Will Parreira stick with a good thing and start Robinho for Adriano again? Ronaldinho is bound to take over a few games, and without much heft in the center of the field, he and Kaka could have too much space. 4-2 Brazil.

Spain vs. France

The chokers vs. the underachievers...France finally found some spark today. The question is, how do they incorporate Zidane without losing any of that zest. My guess is that they drop Trezeguet, when it probably should be Malouda (who did very little wrong today, must be said, but Ribery has recovered from a very disappointing opening game to play quite well.) As for Spain, can they restore the passion with which the played vs. Ukraine? Does Raul start or come off the bench? Who plays in midfield between Xavi, Xabi Alonso, Marcos Senna and Fabregas? Or does the occassion get the best of everyone involved? Sadly, I think the latter, 0-0 France through on penalties.

Now, tell me how I'm wrong!

Final, Final Postmortem: Go East, Young Men

Good piece on Soccernet laying out the obvious, Landon Donovan must go back to Europe:

He has to decide his professional career and national team career are important enough to him to sacrifice the comfort he enjoys playing in MLS, a league that stopped being a challenge for him years ago. This isn't an attack on MLS. This is reality. For all the strides the young league has made, it still is not equipped to help the truly elite player grow.

Consider that the league's top players face no pressure for their starting job; they play in a playoff system that basically makes most regular-season matches devoid of true significance or intensity. Then there is the general lack of quality of talent as compared with the top leagues in Europe. There isn't an MLS defender Donovan can't destroy.

So where is the challenge supposed to come from for Donovan if he chooses to stay in MLS? The United States doesn't have a high-quality regional tournament to play in like the European Championships, and even World Cup qualifying offers only a handful of truly pressure-packed matches. So while the best players from other countries are honing their skills in the best possible scenarios, Donovan remains content to live the life of leisure.

It is certainly his life and his decision to make, but if he continues to insist on treating his career as something other than his highest priority, maybe it is time to look elsewhere for the U.S. team's next true star. As scary as it is to consider, maybe Donovan just isn't cut out for stardom. Maybe he's just not built to handle the pressure.

I'd say that argument holds true for any of the U.S. players, once they reach the point where they are legit 'stars' in the MLS. (If they go over too young and too early, they are liable to get buried in the reserves, stunting their growth. Not time for Freddy to go just yet.) Some of them will not make it - those that do, will improve. See Eddie Lewis, Bobby Convey and most especially Brian McBride for examples of player's who have improved markedly.

Donovan, is the cautionary tale of the stagnation which can occur from staying home and staying comfortable:

Czech midfielder Tomas Rosicky and Ghanaian midfielder Michael Essien played in the same Under-17 World Championships as Donovan just seven years ago. Donovan was the star of that tournament, but Rosicky and Essien are the players who left their countries afterward to hone their skills in Europe's top leagues and stayed there.

Neither player went running back to his home country when things got tough. Both stuck it out, and look at them now. Essien is one of the world's most highly rated players, and Rosicky just moved to English power Arsenal. At this World Cup, each has starred for his country and helped his nation win games.

While Donovan has done, well, f-all.

As I said before, I think Onyewu will be very well served by a move to the premiership - he's got talent, which he demonstrated in the last two games and the English game is the perfect place for him to learn how to use his physical power. Remember, Jaap Stam had a nightmare at the 1998 World Cup, yet was absolutely world class for the next 4 or 5 years, and I think that's a fair comparison on the basis of raw potential.

Update Just for you, Fletch, (via Bill):

"Is it just me, or is Landon Donovan the JJ Redick of US soccer? (i.e overrated douchebag)"

Cel-e-bration! (It's Zeke Time!)

Amidst all my mindless World Cup drivel, I neglected to mention how ludicrously excited I am about the reality-TV-show-in-need-of-a-pitch-meeting that is Isiah Thomas assuming the coaching reigns of the Knicks. I was giggling when I heard the news, and I'm still giggling now, on the verge of tittering, really. I'm giddy. Yes, as Matt says, they will probably have a better record next year (regression to the mean across seasons, especially for truly crap teams, is an NBA fact of life.) But they will still be egregiously bad and we get the bonus of Zeke looking perplexed on the sidelines as he wonders why a lineup of Marbury, Fracis, J-Rose, Frye and Eddy Curry gives up 110 points/game, and always ends up shooting fadeaway 22-footers against the shot clock in clutch situations. If ever there was a litmus test of the Peter principle, this is it.

(Additionally, this is chickenshit - you signed a contract, which everyone not named Dolan or Thomas thought was stupid, own up to it. As Teddy KGB would say, "pay dat myan. Pay dat myan his myuney.")

The Ball is Round Once Again

Brazil - Japan

Ok, so Ronaldo can still play a bit. He looked far, far livelier vs. Japan than at any time in the first two matches. His second goal in particular was very well done. Neat interpassing with Juan (the best Brazillian centerback in years, surely) followed by a free-kick like shot into the lower corner. Maybe he was just a little under the weather. Though he still lacks the rhino-like explosiveness of his top form. Japan were simply and totally outclassed by Brazil playing like, well, Brazil (as the opposing fans can now stop singing "are you Belgium in disguise?")

Unfortunately, ESPN screwed me on this match - instead of replaying this one on ESPN Classic as has been the practice over the first few days of 3rd round games, they replayed both games from USA's group. So the one game I'm missing from the old collection is Brazil in full Samba mode. Pigf****r. A minor bleg to anyone who has tape of the game, hook a blogger up, yo?

Italy - Czech Republic

Once again the Italians go ahead, from a set piece, against the run of play. Up to the point Materazzin scored (great headed goal, to be sure), Nedved was everywhere. And then Polak gets the red, presumably for having even worse hair than Wilhelmson of Sweden. And I have to half-heartedly cheer for f'in Inzaghi. Is there anyone who doesn't hate Pippo Inzaghi?

Croatia - Australia

Enthralling, tense, though ultimately sloppy game. Not Graham Poll's finest as a referee either. Cast iron penalty when Simunic tackled, in the NFL sense, Viduka. Not sure how he could have missed that one really. Good catch to spot the first handball, though he missed a fairly obvious one late on when Australia was going for the equaliser. And Kewell was clearly offsides for his 'winner.' On balance, Australia probably deserve to go through - Croatia's inability to score vs. Japan, and all that.

Ukraine - Tunisia

Possibly the worst game of the tournament. Another soft penalty, too many cards. Too little ambition from the Ukraine, and especially after the sending off, no real impetus from Tunisia. Ukraine awaits any of 3 teams (hopefully, not Switzerland as they could just line up for the shootout after 0-0 finish now.)

So, 14 of the 16 spots are determined, the remaining 2 to come from France, Switzerland, and Korea...my hope is for Korea and France as that would make for the best games. France - Spain in the second round game looks potentially very tasty....

On Second Thought, An Ode To Bruce Arena

At the TNR World Cup Blog, Brian Sinkoff has a decent rundown of the mistakes U.S. coach Bruce Arena made in this World Cup. High/Lowlights:

• Overly negative formation: With different players (all-action goal scoring central mid-fielders such as those of England, Ghana or the Czechs), 4-5-1 can be a useful attacking formation, but the way we played it, it was simply defensive, with way too much reliance on long balls aimed at McBride, and not enough players to support and pick up the second ball.
• Relatedly, an overly negative attitude: Oddly, the only time we got forward in numbers from the run of play was in the second half of the Italy game.
• Poor use of the squad: Three of our most dangerous forwards (Ching, Wolff, Johnson) played little or no part. Beasley played almost the whole tourney, with his only, and I mean only contribution of note being the pass to Dempsey for the goal.
• Poor squad selection: Why even bring John O'Brien if he can't play? Admittedly, he might well be our best player, but if you can't use him? (Sinkoff would have liked to see Taylor Twellman. Can't say that I disagree.)
• And worst of all, the team was not fired up - this is the World Freaking Cup! Get after it. And that kind of lapse is almost certainly attributable to the coaching.

All that said, I can't bring myself to kill Arena. Think of where we were when he took over. We finished last in 1998 (and, in reality, were even worse than that indicates, the scorelines in all 3 games probably should have been more lopsided.) And that was with an aging team that started a German (Thomas Dooley) and Frenchman (David Regis) and a Dutchman (Ernie Stewart). And even before that, though we made the second round in 1994, we were almost comically bad, with Tab Ramos being the one player who didn't totally blow. Further, we advanced by finishing third in our group (there were only 24 teams in the '94 cup, making it NHL playoffs easy to get to the knockout stages.) Aside from goalkeepers, I think there was one U.S. player having success in Europe at the time of the '98 cup.

Now, I'm not even sure I can name all those currently playing regulary off the top of my head. No, the increase in the overall talent level of the team is not solely due to Arena, but surely he deserves some credit.

Further, part of the reason why I feel bad about this early exit is I had actual expectations - call 2002 a fluke if you will, but we sucker punched Portugal, survived the Koreans (legitimately terrifying on home soil, just ask Italy) before absolutely mauling Mexico in the second round (a feat we duplicated in qualifying, I might add) and were desperately unlucky to lose to Ze Germans in the QF's. Thus the bar was raised, which is good. The only way we are going to get better is if we have expectations of reaching the next level.

So though it is probably time for the players to hear a new voice, and a man with new ideas (Eric Wynalda, anyone? Hell, you think we couldn't find the jing to make a run at Big Phil Scolari and that he wouldn't whip us into a scary side?) to take charge, let's pause for a moment and give some gratitude and credit were it is due to Mr. Arena.

WC: Worst of All Possible Worlds

Led me start off by saying that I don't think the U.S. deserved to advance. Even if we got the results we probably deserved in the last two matches, (win, draw) we finish third and the I.T.'s and Ghanians still advance. That said, I'm frustrated. The main reason is that not only did we not advance, we did so in such a fashion that might impede a good hard look at what we need to do to get better. We feel, justifiably, aggrieved by some of the breaks we got, from the ludicrously strong group (4 of the top 17 teams, I'd say. Any of the four teams would have probably advanced if they were in one of 5 or 6 of the other groups) to the Uruguayan twit to Pimpong's Penalty (overheard at the bar: girl to boyfriend "I'm never playing ping-pong again." "Baby, it's PiMpong. And yeah, me neither.") There was also some question about the first Ghana goal - I don't think it was a foul and I don't think it should be called. But in that situation (last man getting stripped), I'd say it gets called at least 4 out of 5 times.

That said, our largely legit grievances will probably be allowed to obscure that fact that, goalkeeping aside, we're just not good enough. Donovan might win the 2006 Nakata Award for overrated 'star.' Beasley seems just hopeless, and Eddie Johnson demonstrated why he has been on the bench for most of the cup: he's not very good. There are some positves to take - McBride is useful, though probably too old to be around for much longer. After a nightmare against the Czechs, Onyewu has looked quite good - I can't blame him for the penalty because the call was astoudingly bad - a 5'4" guy was going to leap backwards, through Gooch and power a header in from 20 yards? Shennanigans. If he does move to England, it will only help him learn how to use his strength without fouling against crafty, floppy types. Dempsey has been a revelation, he should be the first name on the teamsheet, our most dangerous player by a mile over the last two games, and a thumping finish for our one real goal of the tourney.

Arena has demonstrated that he is overmatched as well. It's simply criminal to start in a 4-5-1 in a game that you not only have to win, but possibly have to win by a lot. Coaches have a shelf life, and he's probably passed his sell-by date. There's a reason that national team coaches don't last long, and I don't think it's too much of a surprise that the only two teams with the same manager as 2002 (us and England) have visibily underperformed.

I think this Deadspin commenter captures it perfectly:

I am just so upset right now. I'm upset at the ref. I'm upset at Donovan. I'm upset at Beasley. I'm upset at Arena. I'm annoyed at the Ghana people rolling around on the field to waste time.

mostly, I'm frustrated that this means four more years of soccer haters making nyah-nyah noises at all of us for caring.

Indeed.

Oh, and after the Ghanians demonstrated that they've learned a few of the 'finer' points of football from the Italians, I fully endorse this as well:

I hope Brazil goes Spurrier on these guys in the 2nd round and win 11-0.

Brick

As in 'throwing up a'.

Is there a stupider interview question than "where do you see your self in ten years?" And while you're thinking on that one, is there a stupider answer than the one I gave today? Honesty is not always the best policy, it seems. Even in the legal field, shock me, shock me, shock me.

Maybe I should have been completely honest and gone with the suggested "middle-class, middle-weight, getting paid and driving an SUV," which has the dual benefit of being largely true and perhaps flattering the interviewer as he or she will think "hey, that sounds like me. He wants to be just like me! Sign him up!"

We'll see.

Groups A & B

Germany v. Ecuador

First things first, these games present something of a quandry to the coaches - you're both through and realistically, it's stupid to try to figure out who you might play because A) you have to beat somebody good anyway; and B) by the you get to the final 8, everybody is damn good. So you are left balancing keeping players fresh, healthy and non-suspended with the desire to keep playing the way that has brought your squad to this point. I'm not sure there's a good answer. It can either work, or you can be like Nigeria in '98 - impressive in your first two games, play your second team in the third, get pasted, then go to the second round and get drilled again (Nigeria lost 4-1 to Denmark in the round of 16)

So I understand what Ecuador's coach was doing by resting Delgado, Hurtado and Tenorio. And who's to say they don't get stomped by the Germans even with those guys playing?

But, their absence means that this game was, again, not a meaningful test of the Germans. They looked superb, but, but, but...In honesty I like this team - their body language tells a story of a team enjoying playing together, and that cannot be undersold. It starts from Klinsman who brings real verve and enthusiasm to what is usually a stereotypically dour team. I've mentioned it before, but Klose looks like a much better overall player than he was 4 years ago, and Lahm has been the best fullback, by a good margin, of the tournament so far. The Germans third goal was an inch-perfect counter-attack.

MoM: Miroslav Klose - it would be amusing if me passes Ronaldo on the WC scoring ranking as the latter continues to be stuck at 60% speed.

England - Sweden

Good thing they have Jermaine Defoe ready to step in...oh wait...Sven always looked likely to be an idiot for taking only 4 strikers, especially where 2 are injured and 1 is 17 (seriously, how stupid does including Walcott and not Defoe look right now?) In a way, incoming manager Steve Mclaren may have been fortunate with Owen's inury, as he's simply not the player of 1998. This way, he doesn't have to drop him, but can move on quietly.

First half was England's best of the tourney, with Joe Cole in particular being outstanding. And that's before we add in his fabulous goal (better than Argentina's second vs. Serbia? Tough to say. I will say that that goal was the first time Dave O'Brien really seemed to 'get' soccer, as his baseball drawl vanished for about 5 seconds of hysteria. Balboa thinks the keeper should have saved it. Of course, Balboa's an idiot.)

Second half started the same way...until Sweden scored, rather out of the blue. From that point, the Swedes were absolutely rampant, hitting the bar twice and pounding England to bits...until Gerrard scored, again from nowhere (though with a nice assist from Joe Cole.) And then perhaps the worst defending I've ever seen at a World Cup, and Larsson equalises at the death. Strange game, and if England weren't playing Ecuador, I'd half expect them to get anihlated in their next match.

MoM: Joe Cole. At this point I think England's best lineup (once we recognize that Beckham, Gerrard and Lampard are going to play, come hell, highwater or ze Germans) is Rooney along up front with Cole just behind. Lampard on the left, Gerrard and Becks in the center and Aaron Lennon on the right. Some have suggested moving Beckham to right back and Carragher pairing Terry in central defense to bring Lennon in on the right of midfield. Intriguing, but there's no way Sven has the juevos to try it.