Under Pressure

First of all, I'm a genius. Chris Richard, yasay!

This is the first time since my freshman year in college that I have a shot at winning a tourney pool - (I finished 3rd that time. Why I remember that is because I'm a self-aggrandizing prick, obviously...) Right now, I'm only scared of one thing:

Actually, I'm more scared of Al Horford and Corey Brewer, but as the newspapermen say, I got art.

Who the hell is going to guard Brewer? He's got 4+ inches on anyone OSU can possibly stick on him, unless they try Ivan Harris, who would get turned into a turnstile. Maybe a zone? Florida has a lot of shooters though, especially if Brewer is hitting agian.

To my mind, tonight's championship turns on two things - Oden's ability to stay on the floor, as OSU will get zero defensive rebounds if he is out, and how badly Mick Conley outplays Taurean Green. If Green plays like he did on Saturday, Florida might have problems. It wasn't that he played badly, though he did, it's that he played like an asshole. You know the guy at the gym who wants everyone to know he's really too good to be playing with the likes of you? That was Green. In the national semifinals. While basically crapping the bed (or shaving points? I don't know what the line was, so I can't comment, but if one were to shave, dribbling the ball off of one's foot 4 straight times in the closing stages of a blowout would be a decent start. Just saying.)

I still think Daequan Cook is due for a huge game, and they might need him.

Though my heart wants OSU (both because I have only picked Florida by default and for, erm, other reasons. 2nd prize is a set of steak knives), my head says that the game is Florida's to lose. Of course, looking at my record of past predictions, this makes me feel better about my chances, in a sort of self-imposed triple-whammy-hex fashion...

And as I eat my very leavened breakfast bagel, happy Passover, all...

Long Awaited And Anticipated (Final 4)

So, second things first, my dislike of UCLA Crappy Big Ten/Big East Team West is pretty well established , even without Jordan Farmar's coif. So I don't need to say that I'm rooting for Florida. But I'll say it anyway: Go Gators! Seriously, I hate this UCLA team this much:

Yup, that's my guy. Even if he is an NBA bust. (Sub conscious says "just like Vince Young, genius?")

As to the substance of the game, who on UCLA guards Corey Brewer or Al Horford? Lorenzo Matta weighs about 79 pounds, 43 of them in his schnozz, so he might get bullied. Luc Richard Mbah! Mbah! Mbah! a Moute has regressed, and seems to have caught a little of the Lou Roe* syndrome - as in "I'm not big enough to be a full time interior guy in The League, so watch me hit this J. Ok that was ugly, but watch this one. No seriously guys, the next one's money, I'm due!"

As for Brewer, UCLA did a pretty good job on Brandon Rush, but I think Brewer is a little tougher, so he'll be able to do some things. And if they have to help on Horford especially, that means open looks for Green and Humphrey. Bad news. On the other end, how does UCLA score? They can't really play their usual chuck-and-chase because the Gators have a bunch of big bodies, included Chris Richard, who I think would be a college star at any other school. (I'd take him over D.J. White or Mario Boggan to name two examples.) Brewer will be a tough matchup for Aflallo, who's also due for one of his periodic 4-17 games, and if Green or Humprhey (an underrated defender) can't contain Collison, Brewer could do that as well, in a pinch. Bottom line, UCLA has to play and shoot great while Florida plays mediocre or worse for the Bruins to have a chance. Florida by 11, not really that close though.

But the early game is the big daddy. Ohio State, Georgetown. Oden vs. Hibbert. The question is, who for OSU guards Jeff Green? Certainly not Oden, else he fouls out in 20 minutes of action. Ivan Harris is tall, but...he's tall. Ron Lewis or Jamar Butler? Plus G'Town has a bunch of other big, active bodies (including Ewing's kid, who's actual kinda good). This leads me to believe that OSU plays a lot of zone, unless Thad Motta is an idiot. Of course, judging by his coaching performance vs. Xavier, Thad Motta might be an idiot. If he wises up, G'Town's guards have to make shots from the outside. They can, but will they. On the other end, Georgetown also has matchup problems, especially if Oden can get Hibbert in foul trouble and/or tired, as I don't think Wallace or Sapp can stay in front of Conley. Butler, Lewis and Cook (who is so due for a huge game off the bench, I add) will get into the lane and create open looks for each other, and Harris, and dunks/putbacks for Oden. I see this as being a really entertaining, high scoring game that will turn on OSU's defense - if they keep Green from going off, they win.

Relatedly, if OSU beats Florida for the title, I win my office pool. So the above picks are completely unbiased.


* Just check out the box on the right at the link - it reads like the Early 90s Bust No Stars. Can you go wrong if you are in the same company as Shawn Respert and Beta Tyler Hansbrough (aka Eric Montross)?

Things on Thursday

• Got the soundtrack to "Black Snake Moan." Many different brands of awesome.

• I think I forgot to comment on the series finale of "Rome". In the early part of this season, I thought S1 was stronger, for the simple reason of narrative clarity in the Ceasar-Pompeii and Attia-Servillia arcs. However, the back half of S2 really worked for me. Part of it was how the Vorenus/Pullo storyline had an almost Lethal Weaponish buddy-cop feel to it. I also enjoyed how the show made us sympathize with perhaps its redeemable character, Attia. In another milieu, I would have expected to hear Elton John playing in the background during the coronation sequence.

• Speaking of gritty TV, The Shield" is back next Tuesday. Like all shows based on shock value, the plot has gotten pretty ridiculous, almost 24ish. But, Forrest Whitaker is still around to battle Vic Mackey. Good times.

• I mentioned last week that I've started playing a little of teh poker again. Just to brag a little, I won two free tourneys for a total of $2000 or so. Of course, if you allow me to bore you with the details, you'll see that skill had very little to do with any of it. ("I have aces, I guess I call...") But nice to know that I still play goot.

• For some reason, this doesn't bother me at all. Even though, I guess it's a slur of sorts. Update: See also DLIC at FreeDarko. Also, this was pretty much the first thing that occurred to me as well:

• 30 is the new twenty. This being my birthday week, I like Captain Picard, "make it so."

Final Four preview tomorrow. Promise. Also, Suns-Mavs on Sunday. I'm FAR more excited for that game than for any alleged basketball game involving the UCLA rugby squad. Maybe they should let them Haka after the national anthem to make sure we get the mood right. With Darren Collison, they remind me of a less tatted and feloned version of the Huggins Cincinnati teams - (Bobby Brannen, yasay!)

a bunch of physical defenders with no discernible basketball skills, and one skilled played who shoots jumpers and works on ball-handling while the rest of the team lifts weights and hits the blocking sled.*



* J-dubs himself has several discernible basketball skills, however. Mostly hitting turnaround J's and convincing refs to hit him with nickel-dime fouls, but whatever. Also, wish I had a picture of him with frosted hair, all he'd really need then is the kick-ass barb-wire tat, and he'd never need a Halloween costume again.

I Pick Good

3 of 4, and really, I was right about how the Memphis, A&M game played out. Acie just let me down by missing an open three and a layup. Seriously, Memphis got terrible shots every possession in the last two minutes, and only won because they kept throwing up massive bricks that A&M couldn't rebound.

Southern Illinois wreacked all kinds of havoc when Kansas tried to run a nice, pretty offense. SIU just couldn't stop Kansas once KU said "ok Brandon/Mario/Russell" (Russell Robinson, yasay!) "beat your guy, and get us a shot." And since Kansas has 3+ lotto picks, and SIU has several future quality pros in the Euroleague, this worked quite well, thank you.

UCLA-PITT? FIRST DOWN. Aaron Gray is a huge wuss.

OSU - TENN. Tennessee got them playing fast, and once OSU started making shots...And Greg Oden, smile for heaven's sake...

Anyway for tommorow, Butler and Vandy will simply be overmatched against Florida and G'Town, though Vandy might keep it close if GT's guards can't make shots, and Vandy is decent from 3. Oregon probably has too much quickness for UNLV, and I think UNC's depth wears USC down in the last 8 minutes or so - the legs go, they miss some chippies and some FT's and Carolina goes on a 10-2 spurt and wins by about 7.

The "Gunk" (And Duke Demise Thoughts)

I get sick twice a year. Once in October, once in March. This being March, I have what I like to call "The Gunk". Bad times, especially during the Madness. (I have little to add to the volumes already written, other than to say that losing a really good game to VCU was about as much credit as Duke could have possibly gotten from this tourney. They would probably have lost by about 20 to an awful Pitt team - take VCU in that one, kids - in the second round. At least now people can say "hey, that Paulus ain't so bad" and look forward to next year. Except he is so bad, you have seen his absolute peak. Meanwhile, McRoberts appears to have a bad case of the Shavliks, wherein he gets worse every year. Also, the UNC fans are really classy, giving standing ovations when their team makes fast break threes to go up 22 with 3 minutes left against a number 16 seed. Who had them terrified when it was a 4 point game. I hate you, Roy Williams, drink your Coke and STFU already.)

On the plus side, my abdominal muscles are getting a great work out from all the coughing - surprised that no one has come out with that video workout yet. Looking at you, Billy Blanks.

Guess Who's Back...

And there was much rejoicing, like we just ate Brave Sir Robin's minstrels.

Anyway, for those of you who didn't know, my extended absence was occasioned by...the occasion of the Alaska Bar Exam. In an effort to minimize my online time, and therefore maximize the studying, I rather cut myself off from the internet.

I didn't check email, I didn't surf, I didn't read or write blogs/comments. Heck I barely answered the phone...(thanks for the kind wishes those of you who provided them...) And for some reason, bar exam and studying therefore aside (how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?) this was kind of awesome. Except for the 600+ emails I have to sift through now...anyway, a lot happened while I was gone, but I can only review so much:

• The Departed was not the best movie of last year. I think we all know that. The problem is, can anyone think of a movie that was worhty of being called "the best"? For all intents and purposes, I thought "Little Miss Sunshine" was the betterest movie of 2006, but calling it "the best" is a bit like drafting Andrew Bogut #1 overall. Is that all there is? Reese Witherspoon should have won something, just so she could have come onstage again. Al Gore is not running, he was funny, twice, and no politician actually running is going to risk that.

• That Texas-Texas A&M game was all kinds of awesome. Acie Law yelling "That's what I Do!" at his teammates after making some ludicrous game saving three is why I love college hoops. Reminiscent of Cat Mobley telling Dickie V. of the guy guarding him "I'm busting that ass..."

• Tyler Hansbrough needs to stop letting himself be compared to Eric Montross. He should probably transfer to avoid it, at this point. Big gangly white kid? Check. Star for UNC? Check. Bleeds easily against Duke? Check. Vastly overrated pro prospect? Transfer, young man, transfer.

• I liked "The Black Donnellys" better the first time when it was called "The Godfather".

• Immediate post-exam observation: There is nothing worse than waking up smelling like last night's cigarettes. I spent most of the weekend in the shower trying to wash the smell off. That, and I couldn't really complete the thought required to turn it off and get out...
  

Slowing My Roll

While it may seem like I'm on something of an anti-LeBronikova kick, that's only because I am. That said, my inflated expectations might be getting the better of my judgment:

James' 2005-06 season was more extraordinary than most people realize. In fact, since 1979-80 (the first season for Magic Johnson and Larry Bird), James had the best Player Efficiency Rating for any non-center age 18 to 22, posting a 28.1 PER at age 21. In other words, during those 27 years, only Shaquille O'Neal put up a better statistical season by age 22.

James easily outpaced Michael Jordan, Amare Stoudemire, Tracy McGrady, Kobe Bryant and all the rest.

Naturally, now we expect more from James. It comes with the territory.

Instead, James has tailed off.

That doesn't mean he's having a bad season -- far from it. He just turned 22, and his current PER of 23.7 would be the 10th best (since 1979-80) for players age 18 to 22. (emphasis mine)

"Still really good" isn't a complete rebuttal of "should be better," but it would be churlish not to admit that he's still quite useful, despite teammates who could charitably be described by my friend Retz as "blowing donk".

And while I'm speaking of ludicrous expectations, we may need to hold an intervention for Simmons:

Anyway, when Chad Ford wrote that Oden had more upside than Durant last week, we had a lively e-mail exchange about it, with my basic point being, "Look, Oden has a chance to be one of the best five centers ever ... Durant has a chance to be one of the best FIVE PLAYERS ever" and Chad qualifying his point by discussing overall impact on a team (if you draft Oden, you're more likely to win a title because franchise centers invariably win titles … well, unless they're Patrick Ewing). We could go round and round on this, and over the next few months, we probably will. All I know is that MJ was the last guy since Wilt to crack 37 a game in the pros … and Kevin Durant will be joining him in 5-6 years if he stays healthy. That's not even hyperbole. I don't see anyone stopping him. But will his rebounding/shotblocking catch up to the rest of his game? And will his teams ultimately win? Those are the looming questions.

When someone describes something as not even hyperbole, the chances of the statement in question being hyperbole approach 164%. And that's not even...But pedantry aside, what? I've been on the Durant bandwagon for a while yet (he was the most impressive player, by a mile, in the McDonald's game last year), but 37 per game? In today's NBA? If someone was going to do it, wouldn't it have been Kobe, last year?

Simmons is setting himself up for a big fall here. There's really no way this ends well for him. Either the Celtics get the #1 pick, take Oden (like they should), and he's bitter that they didn't take Durant, who wins RoY going away; or, they get the #2 pick, take Durant, and he doesn't live up to Simba's advance billing; or between the gleeful espousal of fantanking and his glorification of Oden/Durant over everyone else, they get the #3 pick, just to prove that Larry Bird, Kevin McHale and Robert Parish are not walking through that door.

PoohsDay Blues Hip-Hop: Straight Bangin'

Usually, (or, in recent weeks, unusually) this space is reserved for ruminations (and playlists, and poor puns) on the Blues artform. This week, we're going to, as the kids say, flip the script. Since WAP^tm is Straight Bangin today, we're going to put the 'pod on Hip Hop mini-spin and see what we get.

1. "Let Me Clear My Throat" - DJ Kool. With the Ed Lover Dance music. Who didn't love the Ed Lover Dance?

2. "I Wish" - Skee-Lo. One of the longtime ushers at T-Wolves games looks just like Skee-Lo. And then he throws out the little nerf ball and let's kids shoot at the adjustable hoop he's wearing on his back.

3. "White Lines" - Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. . . . Oh sorry, just bobbing my head to the bassline. Carry on.

4. "Soul Flower" - Phracyde ft. Brand New Heavies. James Brown meets hippie-hop. Got to have it (Soul Flower). When you want it...

5. "Uptown Anthem" - Naughty By Nature. What happened to these guys? They were hot as hell and then like Keyser Soze, they were gone.

6. "This Is Radio Clash" - The Clash. Not Hip Hop you say? Perhaps, but it could be and it's good enough for me.

7. "What's Up Doc?" Fu-Schnikens ft. Shaq. Often times known as the PoohSchnikens in these parts, don't know why. I'm not ashamed to admit that I sometimes feel the flow of Shaq Fu. As the man himself says he's Not Christian Laetnner/ Not Alonzo Mourning. Nor, thankfully, is he Ed Nelson.

8. "Who's The Mack?" - Ice Cube. Back when he gave an ish. Though the acting thing is working out quite well for him, who am I to hate?

9. "The Choice is Yours" - Black Sheep. Another wha happened? Group. Say it with me. Engine Engine Number 9/ On the New York Transit Line/ If my train falls off the track/ Pick It Up, Pick it Up, Pick it Up. Parents, this is the kind of music that starts your kids down the road to bling. You would never have sent me to summer camp had you known I'd be exposed thusly.

10. "Money Ain't A Thang" - Jay-Z and Jermaine Dupree. Last, but not least. Ferraris, Jaguars, etc.

Upon reconsideration, and looking at the balance of the list, I don't think I qualify as bangin' any longer. It's a sad, sad day when the IPod makes a fool of you.

My Shining Moment

Go Gators! Ok, now that that's out of the way, I need to take a shower.

Amazing how the first time someone plays halfway decent, UCLA folds like a laundry service. But I'm not gloating. Actually, yes, yes I will gloat. Basketball has been saved from purgatory for a year. Hurrah.

But I still feel dirty having cheered strenously for Florida. Billy Donovan didn't even look happy. It's almost like he was interviewing for an NBA job...Sacto Hello? (Because that worked out well when they tried it with Pitino, and Calipari and Montgomery, and Tarkanian [SWEET PEA!])

For me, the highlight of the night was this Packerism: "Jim, I guarantee we'll see both of these coaches in the Final Four again in our lifetime." I just found that statement amusing. That's all. No other implication there. Nope, none. We'll see you next year, you braying ass.

Overall, disappointing end to a tourney that featured a great first weekend (got started right away with that BC-Pacific game), up and down second weekend, and a crap Final Four.

And Another Thing

As if the college hoop skeptics needed more ammo. Two absolute turkeys of semifinals, (though, in his intro to the George Mason game, the collassal prick even managed to sound magnanimous in congratulating the Patriots (who simply couldn't make the shots that they had made all tourney, and had no answer for Corey Brewer. Not a lot of 6'8" guards in the CAA, I'd imagine.), combined with the transcendant Wade-LBJ duel, and the Associationists cried, in unison, AHA! Proof of the superiority of said pro game.

Myself, I take a slightly different tack. The fact is that the crazed intensity of the best two young slashers in the L going head to head, or the deleriousness of Staples as Kobe goes for 22 in the 3rd quarter is noteworthy because it is so rare. One of the things we forget watching tourney games is that they are neutral court games. Just for the heck of it, I rewatched the first Villanova-UConn game from this year on the DVR (definite "save until I delete status"), and I was struck by the rabid intensity of the crowd, and the game wasn't even played on campus. Aesthetically, 5,000 drunken college students tends to add to the experience.

Plus, as much lip service as NBA players give to "every game mattering" anyone who watches often knows that this is BS. Each team has at least 10 games a year that they basically phone in (and given the schedule, it's almost inevitable.) This dynamic is even more clear in person, where you can often tell in the first 6 minutes that one team (usually the visitor) is just not with it tonight, and extensive gar-bage time could ensue, as Marvelous Marv might say. Over the course of a 35 game college schedule, finding a reason why each game is 'special' is not as much of a stretch: there are rivalries, hated players, must-win-to-get-into-the-tourney situations, the big bullies going into a hostile gym (my favorite games), and so on.

Finally, the college game just sounds different. Even in tournament games there is a particular moment, when one team is on a run, perhaps has just hit a 3 to cut a lead to 2. As the other team brings the ball up the floor, the point guard comes to half court to meet him, gets down in his stance and starts clapping. There's a particular roar at that moment, that you almost never hear in the NBA.

I'm not going to claim that the college game is better, or more skilled, or any nonsense like that. I am still going to claim that from an excitement standpoint, I'd rather watch a regular season D-I game over most NBA games (Phoenix games largely excluded at this point. Boris Diaw is in my current 5.*) Now the playoffs (Playoffs!?!?!?), that's another story.


* Just to keep track, I think I'm going to have to keep a tally of my "five on the floor". Right now

PG - Jason Kidd. 12 wins and counting, carry on.
SG - Kobe (I still hate him, but that 3rd quarter was pretty sick.
SF - Boris Diaw
PF - KG. Please stay in the Mini-Apple.
C - Joakim Noah. Go Gators (blech).

Pooh's Hateration

I am angry. Filled with rage. Sputtering, even.

I feel that strongly about having to root for Florida in tonight's national championship game. I think Billy Donovan is a prick, a hucksterish Rick Pitino wannabe, and another one of those college coaches who are far better in the recruiting living room than on the sidelines (looking at you, Jim Calhoun. And you, Roy Williams. And you, John Calipari. And especially you, Bobby freaking Huggins) And I have to root for him.

Because I hate this UCLA team more. In another sporting context, their style would be derided as "overly negative", "scientific" or perhaps just "cynical". One-Nil to the ArsenalBruins and all that. Yes, yes, they've played great defense, well coached, blahbittyblah. Because of course Ben Howland has coached them to be the best FT defense team of all time. Anytime you can hold your opponent to 46% from the line you're doing something right. Right?

And by right, I mean 'being lucky that the 4 worst games played this tourney have been played by our opponents' and being on the receiving end of a World-Class choke job by the 'Stache & Co. So now we get Bill Walton walking into NBA arenas singing stupid fight songs, off-key, wearing Greatful Dead tie-dye yelling out "U-C-LLLLLLLA" (I actually like that cheer, in general) about this being "the greatest teaaaaamm of allll tiiiiiiiime. Throw it down Mbah a Moute, throw it down!" The bile rises inside of me.

Much of my distaste in unabashedly aesthetic. 50-45 games suck. Scoring 20 points in the second half and still winning sucks. Your offense being dribble for 33 seconds, throw up a 25-footer and either hope it goes in or that you get a put back because your big guys have been continuously donkey-punching their man the entire game (O and D, 40 minutes of 5-on-5 state of constant foul. It's fan-tastic.) sucks. NASCAR is more entertaing than a UCLA game. So is cricket.

And let's not talk about every Los Angelino you know puffing their chest out and already crowing about the 12th banner, as if, A) they were alive for the first 10, B) could pick George Zidek, J.R. Henderson or Cam Dollar out of a lineup, C) could have named more than 2 of UCLA's players OR their coach two weeks ago or D) weren't crowing about USC being the greatest e-vah 3 short months ago.

Basically, to paraphrase a friend from a decade ago, I know a little something about basketball, so I know you can't root for UCLA tonight. (Unless you picked them to go all the way, in which case you're not wrong, you're just an asshole.)

Go Gators. You have no idea how much that hurt me.

Angry Madness

Thanks to a commenter in a previous thread, we are directed to read the Billy Packer Retirement Fund proposal. Naturally, I say here-here. (Even moreso after listening to this interview from a few years back). I'm actually getting slightly gleeful in anticipation of the jackassery which he spouts during the George Mason game though my subtle fear is that the Pats get blown out and he starts spouting some nonsense about them not being able to handle the big-time athletes of Florida. After they have beaten teams containing what I estimate to be 13 future NBA players over the course of the tourney.

(In case you're wondering, Shannon Brown, Mo Ager, Paul Davis, Tyler Hansbrough, Reyshawn Terry, David Noel, Danny Green, Hilton Armstrong, Josh Boone, Rudy Gay, Marcus Williams (felonies included), Craig Austrie and Jeff Adrien, though I wouldn't be surprised if Anderson and Denham Brown got a look as well.)

It's too bad that there is no "radio Tivo" readily available, else I would watch on TV and listen to the radio broadcasts. (For whatever reason, the radio always seems about 1.5 seconds ahead of the TV here) Then I could get my fill of the wonderous Bill Raftery. Sadly, I'm stuck with Bloviating Billy and his little dog toto the King of Cliche.

As a final note, as I was dropping my dad off at his office after taking him out to lunch the other day, we ran into our former next door neighbor. The guy who had a hoop in his driveway where I learned to play. Anyway, we naturally got to talking about the final four, and we got him wound up and he started into an extended rant on what a prick Jim Calhoun is. So, Pops, its not completely your fault that I'm a massively opinionated Hater. Just mostly.

As for the games, I'm a little gunshy given the decimation of all of my picks this year. GMU shouldn't be able to hang with Florida, right? But, as the (semi) pros put it:

What’s WRONG with these people? Have they not seen George Mason play in this tournament? Have they forgotten? This is the best team we’ve seen over the last two weeks (followed closely by, well, Florida, actually). Let’s take this all the way.

The dream has to end some time, right? As to the other game, I just hope LSU whomps up on UCLA early so the Bruins have to forego there 2002 era Pittsburgh Panthers identity and get up and down the floor a bit. Plus, I've decided that I hate Jordan Farmar's hair. Look, either go 90210 with the sideburns or Seth Cohen with the hair. Both at once, not ok. Though the Evil Spock goatee is pretty tough.

A-Mo Emo

Funny, but Not Right. Five stages of 'Stache grief, in pictorial form...

Adam, we hardly knew ye

And this concludes this season's transmission of the 'Stache Broadcasting Network. See you on draft night?

Blue Moon

First time since 1980 that no #1 seeds have made the final for. Relatedly, first time I can ever remeber getting zero Final Four picks right. I don't think I've ever done that on a single bracket, yet this year, I think I'm o-fer every bracket I filled out. Though to be fair, UCLA is the only one I could have conceivably picked, pre-tourney. And I hate their team, so I would never...

Speaking of 1980, it was also the first time in about that long that I found myself consitently nodding in a approval to Billy Packer's analysis. Nova did a poor job utilizing their advantages. Allen Ray did seem a little overcome by the moment, repeatedly taking bad shots and fully earning his first half technical. But his best point of all was the Nova looked like it had just a little less bounce, possibly as a result of the grinding, punishing style of BC. It reminded me of a boxer who's been taking body shots for 8 rounds and all of a sudden has no legs for the end of the game.

Still, Randy Foye is good, and will be a quality NBA 3rd guard, and my appreciation for Kyle Lowery is immense. Joakim Noah is making himself some cash this tourney as well. Not Tyrus Thomas cash, but some serious jing.

And for the record, Kevin Drum's plagaristically named immodest proposal is intriguing.

But I have a suggestion for the gods of college basketball: reduce the number of timeouts allowed and don't allow timeouts at all during the final two minutes of the game. The 20 lumbering minutes that it takes to finish the last few minutes of most games is nothing short of excruciating, but in games where both teams have used up their timeouts the final minutes are some of the most exciting in sports.

So: no timeouts in the final two minutes. Let 'em run. Who's with me?

Maybe not no timeouts but certainly fewer and shorter. I also think they should go back to the rule where if a team calls a full timeout, that counts as the next "TV Timeout" so we don't get the situation where 3 whistles in 15 seconds of game action causes my head to explode from multiple tales of tails of some tasty shrimP.

Ding Dong, the Bitch is Dead.

The "Bitch" being Jim Calhoun

Me suck at coaching? That's unpossible!

So, I'll ask, how the hell was George Mason an 11 seed to begin with?

Also, Coach Calhoun, nobody could guard Rudy Gay, so why not, you know, try to get him the ball sometime in OT? Or you could have the game decided by Josh Boone shooting free throws...This game single handedly justified the entire tournament.

Weekend NCAA thoughts.

The good thing about being eliminated by midday on Friday is that I was able to unrepentantly root for what I'd like to see happen, rather than for 'my' picks. Thus, I was able to bask in the glory of about 8,000 fans in Dayton chanting "Make Roy Cry! Make Roy Cry!" O.K. maybe it was just me chanting while watching, (though I think Dubs was probably with me) but after a year hiatus, the Roy Williams Tearful Press Conference regains its post as my favorite sports moment of the year. Speaking indirectly of George Mason, I love the way this team plays. Pressure man-to-man defense. Controlled but aggressive offense, and despite not really being an uptempo team, they get down the floor in a hurry and force you to transition to defense quickly.

And while speaking of Tobacco Road, Duke played their best game in two months to handle GW. This was the first time maybe since the Texas game that they showed some of the traditional "Duke" defense - lots of ball pressure, overplaying passes, making the opposition catch the ball moving away from the basket. Josh McRoberts is very swiftly becoming my favorite Dukie since Trajan.

Connecticut remains unconvincing, to say the least. A pretty wretched Kentucky team hung with them all the way, and this is after getting a huge scare from a #16 seed on Friday.

I'm not sure how the Villanova-Arizona game ended up being decided by only 4 points, it had the feel of a comfortable Nova lead the entire time, though Marcus Williams (felony free version) showed a knack for making big shots. He might turn out to be a player. This game also featured Jim Nantz giving *^*&^& Packer about 13 chances to admit error in going after te selection committee like he did. And while Nantz admitted he was wrong, all Billy could talk about was how the Big 10's abysmal performance proved that the RPI is meaningless, and he was therefore incorrect-yet-accurate. Whatever, ass.

Since I'm eliminated in every pool, I can wholeheartedly root UW to take down UCONN. Go Brandon Roy! Go Lorenzo Romar! Though I will say that UW's PG play can be...shaky, and considering the way that felony-added Marcus Williams is playing for Connecticut, this could present a problem.

Ludicrous game winner for LSU vs. Texas A&M. With that shot, the last glimmer of hope for my chances went out the window. LSU-Duke is a potentially fun game. Big Baby vs. Landlord, etc.

I'm pessimistic about the Zags chances vs. UCLA, except that I'm not sure the Bruins have anyone who can guard Morrison: Afflalo and Bozeman are too small, and the bigs are probably not quick enough and too inexperienced. That said, Afflalo and Farmar have a huge advantage over the intramural-quality Raivio and Pierre-hyphenated French-Name.

Finally, I agree 100% this, I now hate Applebee's, I hate shrimp, I can even make a plausible case for hating sensations...but because it's stuck in my head

Just sit right back and grab some tails
The tails of some tasty shrimp
Sensations now at Applebee's
Are really worth the trip

Sauteed, crisp fried or fire grilled
Served on a handy skewer
So many shrimp you'll want to plan
A three hour touuuuur
A three hour touuuuur

So join us here this week my friends
It's time for eating good
Shrimp Sensations now at Applebees
In your neighborhood

I may even hate the upright bass, which is really too bad since it is the second coolest instrument ever (behind the digiridoo, of course.)

StacheBlog Monday: Meh.

Dinner and a little evening hoops at chez Papa-Pooh, what could be a better way to end a three-day weekend (ahhhh, government work...)? Well, there was an ill-omen to begin with - the latest acquisition of the esteemed Tyge-parents is...well, let me just show you:

Just. Not. Right. (That's a clock, if you can't tell. Yes, the tongue is a pendulum. Not okay.)

Well with this image in mind, Gonzaga tipped off at Pepperdine. Not to go Gerbschmidt for my Minnesota readers, but Pepperdine, "your team is tewible". The Zags played down. Way down. So far down that the game was so bad that when the Geeze flipped to NBC for ice dancing, I didn't complain. In fact, when he cut away from the Italian team (featuring the "Diva of Italian Ice Dancing". Depending on the inflection you use, that description becomes really, really funny,) to go back to the color-analytical stylings of Hubert Davis, I was openly disappointed. I'm not proud of myself, but the 'Stache was that unispiring. A very AI-ish 27 for Morrison, shot til he was hot, and shot til he was not. (By my count, JJ needs 40 on Wednesday to take back the scoring lead, FYI.)

But I got free dinner and free laundry out of the deal, so I can't complain. Not that that usually stops me.

Back to You, JJ.

37 for Morrison today, 'Zags win. Oh wait, sorry, the 37 was for the second half. 44 in total to take the national scoring lead back from Redick. JJ needs 43 tommorow to take the lead back. I would not put it past him. I may have mentioned it before, but I can't remember the last time even one of the nation's rop scorers was a guy from a top program in contention for NCAA tournament success. Maybe Glenn Robinson at Purdue way back in the day? But now we have two.

StacheBlogging: Dickie V. in the House

In his first in-person look at Adam Morrison this season, how many times will Vitale mention J.J. Redick or make Morrison-Bird comparisons during this telecast? Stay tuned. (All times Pacific)

6:02 - OOh, before we even introduce Dickie V., Brad Nessler hits the trifecta: Larry Bird, Pistol Pete, JJ Redick. That's one.

6:04 - Holy crap, Nessler and V. are wearing faux-staches. Dickie looks like the Pringles guy.

6:05 - Tip off. 5-0 Stanford right off the bat.

6:08 - "They take everyone's best shot, just like Duke." Doesn't quite count, 8-2 Stanford.

6:10 - Stache is 0-2, plus an out of control turnover. "You think he knew Mr. Redick had 35 today?" That's one!

6:15 - On the board with two FT's. They show a stat that says Morrison takes just under 1/3 of their shots. I could live with that...The Gonzaga crowd chants JJ, Dickie thinks it's funny. 2.

6:19 - Gonzaga has the longest current home win streak. Which gives Vitale the opportunity to remind us that Duke is 3rd on that list, in case we forgot. Also, Morrison has diabetes. Alonzo Mourning has one kidney, how is diabetes an issue for his NBA prospects?

6:20 - Morrison hits a nice pull-up J in his defender's grill. "OOOOH. Larry Legend was the last guy to carry a non-marquee conference team to the final four, can Morrison do the same". Next possession "just like Redick, he can be quiet for a while, then put up points in a hurry." The double dip gets us to 4 by the under 12:00 TV timeout.

6:23 - Out of the time out, tough leaner in the lane, and-one. "Only a matter of time, just like Redick. There are 3 locks for All-American. Mr Morrison! Mr. Redick! and Shelden Williams!" He goes on for a bit, we'll call that just one since it was a continuous stream of comparison. 5. (The other two Dickie V. all-americans are Rudy Gay of UConn and Mardy Collins (???) of Temple. How about Randy Foye? Brandon Roy? LeMarcus Aldridge? Rodney Carney of Memphis? Mike Gansey from West Va? But what do I know, I only watch 2-3 games a night.)

6:28 - J.P. Batista is carrying the Zags right now, 25-21 Stanford, Gonzaga does not look sharp.

6:32 - Another and-one for the 'Stache on a put back. That's the part I love about his game is how he finds crafty ways to score, moves well off the ball, hits the O-Boards. Dickie V. rattles of some stats comparing Morrison to...you get the idea. And Nessler says he likes what Morrison and Redick do off the ball. I should be getting paid for this.

Vitale also notes how odd it is for the top two scorers in the country to play for teams that don't suck. Which is a good point, as is the obvious "Morrison needs to work on his defense" as his guy blows by. Oh yeah. 6.

6:35 - "No conspiracy in favor of Duke or Gonzaga" blah blah blah. "Redick piles up points at the end of games because they're ahead and he's getting fouled." Dickie, we're in Spokane here. I'm sure you have 2 or 3 Duke games on your schedule next week, so save some material... 7

6:40 - The white shoes again, what's the deal? Nice pull-up J drifting right by Stache. Dickes says "He's one of the best two in the country" That counts, since I'm pretty sure he means JJ. 8.

6:45 - Ah, the white shoes are part of the Coaches Vs. Cancer thing. Cool.

6:47 - Pull up trey at the first half buzzer. A very quiet 15 at the half for Morrison, largely because Stanford has led thewhole way 43-38 at the half. Worth noting that Gonzaga plays very little D most of the time.

7:04 - Back from half-time. MMM Beef Stew.

7:06 - After a jumper "Look at the passion, that's what JJ Redick has!" 9. Gonzaga takes the lead after an A-Mo steal and a P-Mac layin. 44-43, 17 for Stache.

7:13 - 26 Footer, good. Dickie V. says book him for 35 by the end of the night. "Are you watvhing JJ?" 10. "In a perfect world, J.J. would win the Naismith, Morrison would win..." 11. I might book you for 35 by the end of the night, Dickie.

7:16 - Spokane wit = cardboard signs reading "JJ Who?" Morrison needs to finish with 37 to take over the national scoring lead from Matt Leinart Redick. Not that kind of scoring, Pooh, have you seen Adam Morrison?

Dickie thinks both guys are winners. That's the kind of analysis that gets you the big bucks. 12. Stanford's point guard looks just like Terrance Howard, FWIW. It's hard in Palo Alto for a pimp.

7:20 - Stanford not so much missing shots, tied at 54. Batista bulls his way to 2 more, he has 22.

7:34 - Nothing really doing for Gonzaga right now. Nothing realy working on O, down 5. Vitale hasn't talked about anything Duke related in at least 10 minutes. A new record?

7:38 - Biggest advantage Morrison has over Redick is rebounding. He tipped the ball out to teammate, ran the floor, drew the foul, 61-58 Stanford. "Morrison and Redick, player of the year battle blah blah blah"13. Morrison passes inside for a layup. "That was a big asset of Larry Bird, passing." 14. 61-60.

7:47 - 66-64 Zags at the 4 minute timeout. Good game. It is sometimes hard to tell how good a team you haven't seen before is when they're making shots to stay in the game vs. a 'better' team. Is Stanford pretty decent, or are they just making more shots than usual? FT by Morrison makes it 67-64, he has 22. Dickie V. has 14 and might win with a strong finish.

7:52 - Big trey by Morrison, Zags up 4. "PTPer baby!" Intentional foul???? Wow, tough call against Stache at home...

7:56 - News Flash! Adam Morrison watches Larry Bird tapes. "There's a lot of similarities." Uh, they're ugly white guys, so that's one...15

7:57 - 3 Guys on him, he scores anyway, he's got 27, Zags by 5. Another, er, great sign in the crowd. "Adam, Larry Called he wants his talent back". WHAT? Dickie V. tells a Bird story apropo of wanting to talk.

7:59 - After a 3 pt player cuts it to 2, a ludicrous 3 with a guy in his face pushes the lead back to 5. Dickie V. says give a gold trophy to both him and Redick. I think I've heard that one, though I'm not sure because of the ringing in my ears from the howling 16. Seriously everyone in the gym knew exactly the play Gonzaga was running and where he was going to shoot it from, and it just didn't matter. Respect.

8:02 - Morrison gets fouled. "Duke and Gonzaga go to the line alot, forget about conspiracies, it's about winning players." 17. 77-73 Zags with 30 seconds left. Morrison has the last 11 for Gonzaga.

8:04 - The Double-Dip! "I'll tell you one thing about Morrison, just like Redick they want the ball when the game's on the line. That was a trademark of Larry the Legend." Count it for 2. 19. Morrison also claims he banked the game winner against OK. State on purpose. Dickie V. doesn't buy it, but I thought he meant it at the time...

8:07 - Two FT's for Morrison. He finishes with 34, Gonzaga wins 80-76, good game. Vitale seemed almost...subdued in the second half.

Well there you have it folks, Morrison 34, Vitale 19. Good times.

Update Sportscenter has the following comparison of Morrison and Redick

Points today: Redick 35 - Morrison 34
PPG season: Redick 28.7 - Morrison 28.6
Fg%: Redick 50.4% - Morrison 51.1%
3pt.FG%: Redick 43.9% - Morrison 43.4%

StacheBlog: Jobbed Worse Than the Seahawks.

Well, I guess the Pac-NW was due some referee love after SuperNap XL. So they gave a regular seasons West Coast Conference game to the 'Zags. Seems fair. Top 5 ludicrous calls.

5. The 'Stache Not Getting a Technical for Yelling at the refs. He bitched enough I could make this one 6-10 as well.

4. The 'Stache not getting T'ed up for slamming the ball in the refs face.

3. The 'Stache not fouling out dunking on a guy taking a charge with a minute left.

2. The hometown scorekeeper ...forgetting to start the clock on the Zags last possesion.

1. After getting at least 2 seconds to get a shot off with .5 seconds left and the game tied, the trail ref called a phantom foul from central Idaho.

But hey, a win's a win, right?

In seriousness, this game is why Gonzaga will lose in the second or third round - they'll play a crappy, overtly physical team from say the Big East or the Big ElevenTen, who will play Riley-era Knick ThugBall. Morrison will get pushed around, whine, shoot 6-20 and they'll lose by 15. Which will cause approximately 1/3 of the population to promise to never pick them to do anything again because they are now behind the 63 year-old mail room lady whose picks are a mixture of favorite colors and Mascot "Queien es mas macho" in the Office Pool of Questionable Legality.