A-Mo Emo

Funny, but Not Right. Five stages of 'Stache grief, in pictorial form...

Adam, we hardly knew ye

And this concludes this season's transmission of the 'Stache Broadcasting Network. See you on draft night?

Weekend NCAA thoughts.

The good thing about being eliminated by midday on Friday is that I was able to unrepentantly root for what I'd like to see happen, rather than for 'my' picks. Thus, I was able to bask in the glory of about 8,000 fans in Dayton chanting "Make Roy Cry! Make Roy Cry!" O.K. maybe it was just me chanting while watching, (though I think Dubs was probably with me) but after a year hiatus, the Roy Williams Tearful Press Conference regains its post as my favorite sports moment of the year. Speaking indirectly of George Mason, I love the way this team plays. Pressure man-to-man defense. Controlled but aggressive offense, and despite not really being an uptempo team, they get down the floor in a hurry and force you to transition to defense quickly.

And while speaking of Tobacco Road, Duke played their best game in two months to handle GW. This was the first time maybe since the Texas game that they showed some of the traditional "Duke" defense - lots of ball pressure, overplaying passes, making the opposition catch the ball moving away from the basket. Josh McRoberts is very swiftly becoming my favorite Dukie since Trajan.

Connecticut remains unconvincing, to say the least. A pretty wretched Kentucky team hung with them all the way, and this is after getting a huge scare from a #16 seed on Friday.

I'm not sure how the Villanova-Arizona game ended up being decided by only 4 points, it had the feel of a comfortable Nova lead the entire time, though Marcus Williams (felony free version) showed a knack for making big shots. He might turn out to be a player. This game also featured Jim Nantz giving *^*&^& Packer about 13 chances to admit error in going after te selection committee like he did. And while Nantz admitted he was wrong, all Billy could talk about was how the Big 10's abysmal performance proved that the RPI is meaningless, and he was therefore incorrect-yet-accurate. Whatever, ass.

Since I'm eliminated in every pool, I can wholeheartedly root UW to take down UCONN. Go Brandon Roy! Go Lorenzo Romar! Though I will say that UW's PG play can be...shaky, and considering the way that felony-added Marcus Williams is playing for Connecticut, this could present a problem.

Ludicrous game winner for LSU vs. Texas A&M. With that shot, the last glimmer of hope for my chances went out the window. LSU-Duke is a potentially fun game. Big Baby vs. Landlord, etc.

I'm pessimistic about the Zags chances vs. UCLA, except that I'm not sure the Bruins have anyone who can guard Morrison: Afflalo and Bozeman are too small, and the bigs are probably not quick enough and too inexperienced. That said, Afflalo and Farmar have a huge advantage over the intramural-quality Raivio and Pierre-hyphenated French-Name.

Finally, I agree 100% this, I now hate Applebee's, I hate shrimp, I can even make a plausible case for hating sensations...but because it's stuck in my head

Just sit right back and grab some tails
The tails of some tasty shrimp
Sensations now at Applebee's
Are really worth the trip

Sauteed, crisp fried or fire grilled
Served on a handy skewer
So many shrimp you'll want to plan
A three hour touuuuur
A three hour touuuuur

So join us here this week my friends
It's time for eating good
Shrimp Sensations now at Applebees
In your neighborhood

I may even hate the upright bass, which is really too bad since it is the second coolest instrument ever (behind the digiridoo, of course.)

StacheBlog Monday: Meh.

Dinner and a little evening hoops at chez Papa-Pooh, what could be a better way to end a three-day weekend (ahhhh, government work...)? Well, there was an ill-omen to begin with - the latest acquisition of the esteemed Tyge-parents is...well, let me just show you:

Just. Not. Right. (That's a clock, if you can't tell. Yes, the tongue is a pendulum. Not okay.)

Well with this image in mind, Gonzaga tipped off at Pepperdine. Not to go Gerbschmidt for my Minnesota readers, but Pepperdine, "your team is tewible". The Zags played down. Way down. So far down that the game was so bad that when the Geeze flipped to NBC for ice dancing, I didn't complain. In fact, when he cut away from the Italian team (featuring the "Diva of Italian Ice Dancing". Depending on the inflection you use, that description becomes really, really funny,) to go back to the color-analytical stylings of Hubert Davis, I was openly disappointed. I'm not proud of myself, but the 'Stache was that unispiring. A very AI-ish 27 for Morrison, shot til he was hot, and shot til he was not. (By my count, JJ needs 40 on Wednesday to take back the scoring lead, FYI.)

But I got free dinner and free laundry out of the deal, so I can't complain. Not that that usually stops me.

Back to You, JJ.

37 for Morrison today, 'Zags win. Oh wait, sorry, the 37 was for the second half. 44 in total to take the national scoring lead back from Redick. JJ needs 43 tommorow to take the lead back. I would not put it past him. I may have mentioned it before, but I can't remember the last time even one of the nation's rop scorers was a guy from a top program in contention for NCAA tournament success. Maybe Glenn Robinson at Purdue way back in the day? But now we have two.

StacheBlogging: Dickie V. in the House

In his first in-person look at Adam Morrison this season, how many times will Vitale mention J.J. Redick or make Morrison-Bird comparisons during this telecast? Stay tuned. (All times Pacific)

6:02 - OOh, before we even introduce Dickie V., Brad Nessler hits the trifecta: Larry Bird, Pistol Pete, JJ Redick. That's one.

6:04 - Holy crap, Nessler and V. are wearing faux-staches. Dickie looks like the Pringles guy.

6:05 - Tip off. 5-0 Stanford right off the bat.

6:08 - "They take everyone's best shot, just like Duke." Doesn't quite count, 8-2 Stanford.

6:10 - Stache is 0-2, plus an out of control turnover. "You think he knew Mr. Redick had 35 today?" That's one!

6:15 - On the board with two FT's. They show a stat that says Morrison takes just under 1/3 of their shots. I could live with that...The Gonzaga crowd chants JJ, Dickie thinks it's funny. 2.

6:19 - Gonzaga has the longest current home win streak. Which gives Vitale the opportunity to remind us that Duke is 3rd on that list, in case we forgot. Also, Morrison has diabetes. Alonzo Mourning has one kidney, how is diabetes an issue for his NBA prospects?

6:20 - Morrison hits a nice pull-up J in his defender's grill. "OOOOH. Larry Legend was the last guy to carry a non-marquee conference team to the final four, can Morrison do the same". Next possession "just like Redick, he can be quiet for a while, then put up points in a hurry." The double dip gets us to 4 by the under 12:00 TV timeout.

6:23 - Out of the time out, tough leaner in the lane, and-one. "Only a matter of time, just like Redick. There are 3 locks for All-American. Mr Morrison! Mr. Redick! and Shelden Williams!" He goes on for a bit, we'll call that just one since it was a continuous stream of comparison. 5. (The other two Dickie V. all-americans are Rudy Gay of UConn and Mardy Collins (???) of Temple. How about Randy Foye? Brandon Roy? LeMarcus Aldridge? Rodney Carney of Memphis? Mike Gansey from West Va? But what do I know, I only watch 2-3 games a night.)

6:28 - J.P. Batista is carrying the Zags right now, 25-21 Stanford, Gonzaga does not look sharp.

6:32 - Another and-one for the 'Stache on a put back. That's the part I love about his game is how he finds crafty ways to score, moves well off the ball, hits the O-Boards. Dickie V. rattles of some stats comparing Morrison to...you get the idea. And Nessler says he likes what Morrison and Redick do off the ball. I should be getting paid for this.

Vitale also notes how odd it is for the top two scorers in the country to play for teams that don't suck. Which is a good point, as is the obvious "Morrison needs to work on his defense" as his guy blows by. Oh yeah. 6.

6:35 - "No conspiracy in favor of Duke or Gonzaga" blah blah blah. "Redick piles up points at the end of games because they're ahead and he's getting fouled." Dickie, we're in Spokane here. I'm sure you have 2 or 3 Duke games on your schedule next week, so save some material... 7

6:40 - The white shoes again, what's the deal? Nice pull-up J drifting right by Stache. Dickes says "He's one of the best two in the country" That counts, since I'm pretty sure he means JJ. 8.

6:45 - Ah, the white shoes are part of the Coaches Vs. Cancer thing. Cool.

6:47 - Pull up trey at the first half buzzer. A very quiet 15 at the half for Morrison, largely because Stanford has led thewhole way 43-38 at the half. Worth noting that Gonzaga plays very little D most of the time.

7:04 - Back from half-time. MMM Beef Stew.

7:06 - After a jumper "Look at the passion, that's what JJ Redick has!" 9. Gonzaga takes the lead after an A-Mo steal and a P-Mac layin. 44-43, 17 for Stache.

7:13 - 26 Footer, good. Dickie V. says book him for 35 by the end of the night. "Are you watvhing JJ?" 10. "In a perfect world, J.J. would win the Naismith, Morrison would win..." 11. I might book you for 35 by the end of the night, Dickie.

7:16 - Spokane wit = cardboard signs reading "JJ Who?" Morrison needs to finish with 37 to take over the national scoring lead from Matt Leinart Redick. Not that kind of scoring, Pooh, have you seen Adam Morrison?

Dickie thinks both guys are winners. That's the kind of analysis that gets you the big bucks. 12. Stanford's point guard looks just like Terrance Howard, FWIW. It's hard in Palo Alto for a pimp.

7:20 - Stanford not so much missing shots, tied at 54. Batista bulls his way to 2 more, he has 22.

7:34 - Nothing really doing for Gonzaga right now. Nothing realy working on O, down 5. Vitale hasn't talked about anything Duke related in at least 10 minutes. A new record?

7:38 - Biggest advantage Morrison has over Redick is rebounding. He tipped the ball out to teammate, ran the floor, drew the foul, 61-58 Stanford. "Morrison and Redick, player of the year battle blah blah blah"13. Morrison passes inside for a layup. "That was a big asset of Larry Bird, passing." 14. 61-60.

7:47 - 66-64 Zags at the 4 minute timeout. Good game. It is sometimes hard to tell how good a team you haven't seen before is when they're making shots to stay in the game vs. a 'better' team. Is Stanford pretty decent, or are they just making more shots than usual? FT by Morrison makes it 67-64, he has 22. Dickie V. has 14 and might win with a strong finish.

7:52 - Big trey by Morrison, Zags up 4. "PTPer baby!" Intentional foul???? Wow, tough call against Stache at home...

7:56 - News Flash! Adam Morrison watches Larry Bird tapes. "There's a lot of similarities." Uh, they're ugly white guys, so that's one...15

7:57 - 3 Guys on him, he scores anyway, he's got 27, Zags by 5. Another, er, great sign in the crowd. "Adam, Larry Called he wants his talent back". WHAT? Dickie V. tells a Bird story apropo of wanting to talk.

7:59 - After a 3 pt player cuts it to 2, a ludicrous 3 with a guy in his face pushes the lead back to 5. Dickie V. says give a gold trophy to both him and Redick. I think I've heard that one, though I'm not sure because of the ringing in my ears from the howling 16. Seriously everyone in the gym knew exactly the play Gonzaga was running and where he was going to shoot it from, and it just didn't matter. Respect.

8:02 - Morrison gets fouled. "Duke and Gonzaga go to the line alot, forget about conspiracies, it's about winning players." 17. 77-73 Zags with 30 seconds left. Morrison has the last 11 for Gonzaga.

8:04 - The Double-Dip! "I'll tell you one thing about Morrison, just like Redick they want the ball when the game's on the line. That was a trademark of Larry the Legend." Count it for 2. 19. Morrison also claims he banked the game winner against OK. State on purpose. Dickie V. doesn't buy it, but I thought he meant it at the time...

8:07 - Two FT's for Morrison. He finishes with 34, Gonzaga wins 80-76, good game. Vitale seemed almost...subdued in the second half.

Well there you have it folks, Morrison 34, Vitale 19. Good times.

Update Sportscenter has the following comparison of Morrison and Redick

Points today: Redick 35 - Morrison 34
PPG season: Redick 28.7 - Morrison 28.6
Fg%: Redick 50.4% - Morrison 51.1%
3pt.FG%: Redick 43.9% - Morrison 43.4%

StacheBlog: Jobbed Worse Than the Seahawks.

Well, I guess the Pac-NW was due some referee love after SuperNap XL. So they gave a regular seasons West Coast Conference game to the 'Zags. Seems fair. Top 5 ludicrous calls.

5. The 'Stache Not Getting a Technical for Yelling at the refs. He bitched enough I could make this one 6-10 as well.

4. The 'Stache not getting T'ed up for slamming the ball in the refs face.

3. The 'Stache not fouling out dunking on a guy taking a charge with a minute left.

2. The hometown scorekeeper ...forgetting to start the clock on the Zags last possesion.

1. After getting at least 2 seconds to get a shot off with .5 seconds left and the game tied, the trail ref called a phantom foul from central Idaho.

But hey, a win's a win, right?

In seriousness, this game is why Gonzaga will lose in the second or third round - they'll play a crappy, overtly physical team from say the Big East or the Big ElevenTen, who will play Riley-era Knick ThugBall. Morrison will get pushed around, whine, shoot 6-20 and they'll lose by 15. Which will cause approximately 1/3 of the population to promise to never pick them to do anything again because they are now behind the 63 year-old mail room lady whose picks are a mixture of favorite colors and Mascot "Queien es mas macho" in the Office Pool of Questionable Legality.

GonzagaBlog

Been awhile since I checked in on The 'Stache. How has it stayed the same wispy length for two months?

Anyway, Morrison has 16 with 10:28 left in the first. No wait, he just found the DoubleDribble hotspot, faded out of bounds and hit from 23. 19 with 9:30 in the 1st.

Update: He just pulled up from off the screen with a guy in his face. 24 at the 8:00 timeout.

Ok, he took a three minute blow, back in with 5:08. Still has 24.

During a TV timeout, via Deadspin, an open letter to Kobe. From Luke Ridnour.

Back to A-Mo. Couple throws with 2:08 left, 26 for the half. This is actually a decent game aside from the StacheFactor.

Erg, missed about 4 straight shots to end the half Zags 45 San Francisco 40. How are you going to get 60 if you keep missing these off-balance runners, Adam?

Second Half: We just learned that J.P. Batista bench presses 330. Which means 20 pounds less than Earl Boykins. Zero points for our guy in the first 5 minutes of half number 2. Yawn.

12:32 - tough pull-up to stop a USF run 53-52 Zags, 28 for AM.

11:05 - 2 guys hanging on him, andone from 12. Big shot. Oh boy, Larry Bird highlights during the timeout. Simmer. Down. FT gives him 31. 58-54 Zags.

10:00 - Egregious push off leads to an offensive rebound, and a tear drop half hook in traffic. 33. 60-54

2:57 Left - Tough 8 foot baseline runner gives him 37. 71-65 Zags.

0:12.6 to go - 41 for Stache as he leaves with the zags up 9. After Kobe, I'm disappointed he ended up with 41. 84-75, Zags, final.

Gripe: Meaningless Bowl Games

So, I tune to ESPN2 to watch The 'Stache in action...and there are 10 minutes left in the 4th quarter of the "Your-Name-Here-For-a-Mere-5-Million" Bowl between East Vermont Teachers College and Grenada State. (Er, make the Texas Christian and Iowa State. Whatever.) I'm neither a Christian Texan or an Iowan, why the hell do I care about this?

STAY IN BOUNDS, DAMN YOU

Morrison update to come, plus my thoughts on 'Zona/Washington.

Pooh's KwanzmakuhYear's Day Airing of Grievances

John Cole has the wonderful idea of getting everything off your chest now so you can start the new year fresh.

So, here goes.

1) Dubya. I could go of on a long-winded diatribe, but it's all been said. Often. Really, all I can add is "try harder".

2) Shills of all shape and size. Be yee Kos, PowerLine or just what Steve H. might call "PajoompaLoompas". I'll echo the "try harder" bit from above. Try harder to think for yourself. Try harder to think before you talk. Try harder to listen. Try harder to be as skeptical of things said by those you agree with as you are of those you don't. Accept being wrong. It happens to the rest of you from time to time...

3) Larry Luchinno. Jackass. You won, once, and are in full Huizenga scorched-earth mode now. Well done.

4) Sony and the RIAA. Putting the (my) "comp"(uter) in your incompetence. Whatever happened to 'you break it, you buy it?' And the RIAA, thanks for running creativity in main-stream music into the ground. I might just start having to listen to techno, just to hear some variety. Thanks for Ashleeeeeeeeeigh Simpson too.

5) Kaiser. You're a dumbass. (Edit: apparently people thought this was a bit strong. Fair enough. I accept your grievance that I am an asshole in my list of grievances. But since I've aired it now, I can let it go in one week and never grieve about it again.)

6) The producers of Lost. You have no idea where you are going and you are dragging me down with you. Stop it.

7) The Religious WrongRight. Practice what you preach. Or call on god to smite Dover, same thing right? And how was it that the gays and liberals caused 9/11Katrina again? Thanks for NutraScience^Tm as well. What do you mean some of the ingredients may rot my faculties and cause me to be outsourced?

8) Adam Morrison. Why oh why bring the sleaze-stache back? Other than that, keep doin' what you doin.

9) David Stern. Why institute a racist dress code and then let them wear pajamas on the court?

10) Blogging. Taking up all my time. At least when I was playing poker I was getting paid for it...

Duke. Gonzaga. Throwbacks.

Since I've previously outed myself as a Dookie, I can crow about today's demolition of Texas. (Though, in fairness, I think Buckman going down had a good deal of influence on the margin if not the outcome.) I've thought that the Devils are overrated at #1 all season, since it seems they have about 2.5 guys (JJ, Lanndlord and Melchionni). Or maybe not, since Dockery seems to have remembered how to shoot, and Paulus and McRoberts showed a lot today. (especially Paulus, though he may indeed have a bit of the WoJo in him. Incidentally, a friend of Josh and mine used to date a girl who was WoJo's girlfriend in college. He (the friend, not WoJo) is also a reality TV "star" and charter member of the Wally Szerbiak posse. What does this have to do with Greg Paulus? Who knows, just thought it was interesting.) It also helps when Reddick is doing his Chris Kingsbury-minus-the-cigs imatation. Texas could turn out to be pretty good (their front-line is tough), but their guards suck. Plus what the hell is P.J. Tucker doing woofing at Reddick? He's in the middle of dropping 41 on your head and you are lucky to only lose by 31...

As for the Zags, I love Adam Morrison. I love his terrible hair, porn-stache and pigeon towed running style. That being said, Gus Johnson needs to slow his roll with the Larry Bird comparisons. Admittedly, going down the checklist

1. Small town hick, (he's from Spokane) - check
2. Making a small school big time - half-check.
3. Genius level basketball IQ - 175, Check (I love when the nations leading scorer gets 5-10 per game on back door cuts)
   
4. Ugly, not-especially-athletic white kid with bad hair and a worse stache - check, check and CHECK
5. As Bill Raftery would say "ONIONS" - Big bad check

there is a passing similarity. But what is the likelihood that he turns out to be much better than Austin Croshere in the pros? I'm just saying...

As a final hoops note of the day. David Stern should be fined under the League's dress code for approving certain throwbacks:

The Wizards/Bullets look like they are wearing workout gear from a NASCAR pit crew. As for the Stags/Bulls, I can't even come up with an analogy. It's almost like they have boxing shorts (notice the foot thick wasteband) over wrestling singlets.

He's also culpable for allowing the Kings to rock these monstrosities:

This still photo doesn't do justice to how awful these are in motion.

"Sean McDonough the Huskies come out MANAMAN!"

The Maui Classic championship game just started. Reminding me how much I love college basketball. And how much I love Bill Raferty...Wit da kiss-ah!

As Josh commented yesterday, Adam Morrison is good. He just needs a razor. Alternatively, he should change his name, adding 7 consecutive consonants and speak with a thick accent if he wants to get drafted top 5.