Wednesday, May 17, 2006

What If It Just Sucks?

I admit, I'm psyched for the "Da Vinci Code" movie - I enjoyed the book (well, the reading, since I 'read' it while driving from Minnesota to Texas a few years back. Brown's rather leaden prose is more easily digestable when spoken, apparently.) And the stupidity of the 'controversy' surrounding the film is delicious - if there is one thing that you would think people have learned by now, it's that creating a stink about something ensures a wider audience then there would have been. No publicity is bad publicity, etc.

And, as has been noted, the book was pretty much written to become a blockbuster screenplay. Add Tom Hanks, Opie Cunningham, Gandalf, and Hot French Chick du juor, what could possibly go wrong?

Well, for one, suckasge. A possibility that I'd never really considered is that it might turn out to be just a Bad Movie, not an Evil movie, Dr. Dobson, just a bad, bad movie. Consider:
At Cannes, one scene during the film, meant to be serious, elicited prolonged laughter from the audience, and when the credits rolled, there was no applause, only a few catcalls and hisses. Things were no better Stateside, where the film screened for critics in New York.

The Hollywood Reporter headlined its review, " 'Da Vinci Code' an unwieldy, bloated puzzle."

"No chemistry exists between the hero and heroine, and motivation remains a troubling sore point," wrote reviewer Kirk Honeycutt, panning Tom Hanks' "remote, even wooden performance." Only co-star Ian McKellen managed to avoid criticism.
As the canines are wont to say, "Ruh Roh!"

Consider my expectations lowered. But I'll still be there on Friday.


Ahistoricality said...

"No chemistry exists between the hero and heroine, and motivation remains a troubling sore point,"

In other words, it's a faithful rendition of the book....

bill said...

I have no interest in the book (for similar subject matter by a brilliant writer, get Umberto Eco's "Foucault's Pendulum"), but thought it could make for a fun and mindless summer movie.

Just one problem--Opie Cunningham. Now, I haven't seen all his movies, it's just that all the ones I have seen--while being beautifully filmed--have been godawful boring. So the reviews are not surprising. No one can suck the life out of an interesting story like he can.

slickdpdx said...

I second bill! And I'm amused by ahistoricality (which is a real fingertwister to type).