What If It Just Sucks?

I admit, I'm psyched for the "Da Vinci Code" movie - I enjoyed the book (well, the reading, since I 'read' it while driving from Minnesota to Texas a few years back. Brown's rather leaden prose is more easily digestable when spoken, apparently.) And the stupidity of the 'controversy' surrounding the film is delicious - if there is one thing that you would think people have learned by now, it's that creating a stink about something ensures a wider audience then there would have been. No publicity is bad publicity, etc.

And, as has been noted, the book was pretty much written to become a blockbuster screenplay. Add Tom Hanks, Opie Cunningham, Gandalf, and Hot French Chick du juor, what could possibly go wrong?

Well, for one, suckasge. A possibility that I'd never really considered is that it might turn out to be just a Bad Movie, not an Evil movie, Dr. Dobson, just a bad, bad movie. Consider:

At Cannes, one scene during the film, meant to be serious, elicited prolonged laughter from the audience, and when the credits rolled, there was no applause, only a few catcalls and hisses. Things were no better Stateside, where the film screened for critics in New York.

The Hollywood Reporter headlined its review, " 'Da Vinci Code' an unwieldy, bloated puzzle."

"No chemistry exists between the hero and heroine, and motivation remains a troubling sore point," wrote reviewer Kirk Honeycutt, panning Tom Hanks' "remote, even wooden performance." Only co-star Ian McKellen managed to avoid criticism.

As the canines are wont to say, "Ruh Roh!"

Consider my expectations lowered. But I'll still be there on Friday.