Saturday, November 12, 2005

Magnet for Oddities

Josh and others have complained about the monotony of being tall at a bar. While I recognize that "how tall are you" could get old, it also has benefits. Due to repetition, you have a ready stable of responses at your disposal. By contrast, especially as someone who tends to hang out with taller friends, the "you're tall" thing doesn't happen to me. Instead, I get described as an "absconder", or some such drivel. But I had a new one this week. On Wednesday, (prior to my overly cursory viewing of Lost) I was asked, beer in hand no less, if I was a Mormon. Apparently, in some circles there has been a healthy trade in "wrecking Mormons," and as wonderful as that victimless crime might sound, I'm not eligible.

Ok, by way of full disclosure, it was not a pickup line, more the last in a string of non-sequitors from a family friend. As best I can reconstruct, (and without pause for me to get a word in): "Are you single? We don't know anyone, well there is her, but she kinda has a boyfriend? Are you mormon? He's small anyway, you could take him..." Could I not take him if I was a mormon, or would the taking be guaranteed in that case? I'm at a complete loss here, throw me a bone...

Moving to the hypothetical, if it were a pick up line (go with it, for me...) how does one respond? I can't pretend to actually be a Mormon, because that would be, like, wrong. Now, Amish, that I could do, because what's funnier then an Amish Alaskan in a bar?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

The actual question, lad, was "Are you a moron?" . . . .but I do know this single lady, age appropriate and all, who really loves dumb guys with bad ties--depending on how tall they are, of course.

GM

Jo said...

If it were a pickup line, I'd say don't get picked up! Mormons (good ones anyhow) do not indulge in pre-marital sex. AT ALL. Ummm... unless you don't either, then it's all good? Oh, and they don't fight either. So if you were a Mormon, you'd have to stand there and get your butt kicked ;-)

Frankie said...

Wow. 2 minutes of conversation with a twit like that might TURN me Mormon...